K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

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It’s my bday so an old friend reached out to me (a male) and the 2nd thing he said to me was asking me if I’ve had babies yet. I don’t want children and my OCD is latched onto questioning everything about my decision so this was super triggering for me. In a sense I can kind of laugh because one of my compulsions has been rehearsing what I am gonna say to people who ask me that… so I already had my response prepared so long in advance lol 😂 😂 I have a lot of anxiety now and I keep checking my phone waiting to see what he’ll say but I’m going to try to just keep going about my morning. It’s not even 8am! 🤦🏻‍♀️

micybigfan

Date posted: 2y ago

Ah I’m sorry about that but I hope you have a great birthday!!

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@micybigfan Thank you!!!

rosegolden143

Date posted: 2y ago

happy birthday!

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@rosegolden143 Thank you!!

SarahSS36

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Personally, I think it’s inappropriate for anyone to ask about your reproductive decisions. When will men or people in general learn this!

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@SarahSS36 Right? Me too. Most of the responses I’ve gotten are opposing my decision so my OCD loves that lol. My husband is on their side so that stinks too but it’s ok. I’ve watched some funny videos where women are just like “what does my womb have anything to do with you?” Lol

SarahSS36

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@K-M 100% okay. I know sometimes people mean well but you never know what people are going through - like what if they can’t have kids or are trying. It’s insensitive. I think you could say, I would prefer not to talk about my choices but how are you? Or something like that

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@SarahSS36 That’s exactly what I told my husband too, but idk if it’s cause I’m just super sensitive about the topic. I think that’s a great thing to say!! I just told my friend “I don’t want children and it’s not for everyone” and I also told him I know he meant well cause I think he felt bad

Daisyandconf...

Date posted: 2y ago

First of all, Happy Birthday! Wishing you a year full of peace and happiness. 🎂 Second, arghh, I hate when people ask that question! So inappropriate on so many levels. Why do some think it’s okay to ask such things? Men and women do this and it irks me and I have children! I decided not to have them but changed my mind when I met my partner. But that was my decision, not anyone else’s. Everyone is entitled to their choices and their reasons for doing/not doing something. Your body, your business. You don’t need to explain yourself.

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Thank you!!! I always love hearing from you!!

Daisyandconf...

Date posted: 2y ago

@K-M Take care. 🫂 Hopefully, people will back off of focusing on our uteruses and start paying attention to important things, like being compassionate.

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Thank you, love bug!

FactsOverFear

Date posted: 2y ago

That question triggers me too. Having children is such a sensitive topic for so many people, yet some people still have the audacity to bring it up. My first thought was, does this old friend want to see if you're happy with your husband/going to be single soon because he's interested in you? It's just odd that he would care. Nevertheless, remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation on how you want to live your life and the choices you make. Just curious, how did you respond?! Also, happy birthday!!

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@FactsOverFear I know!! My sister has been watching my journey/struggle with this topic and the rude remarks I’ve gotten from people and she said the other day “I had no idea other people thought it was just such a big deal not to have kids.” Some people are weenies! Lol. I don’t think he’s asking if I’m happy. He is older and he told me a while back he didn’t really want his girlfriend cause she was older and he wanted kids (she couldn’t have any probably), so maybe he sees me as a baby maker? Or perhaps it’s just because of what many of us are taught “get married and have kids, then they get married and have kids etc.” I’m not sure. I’ve told him in the past I didn’t want them so then I just said “you know I don’t want kids, not everyone is meant to have kids, I’m happy with my choice.” Might’ve been a little defensive 😂 but I think I’ve had so much pressure on me especially with the OCD hanging onto it that I can be pretty quick to defend my side lol.

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@K-M When I said other people thinking it’s a big deal, I meant some people don’t like it if OTHER people choose not to ** wasn’t trying to call everyone a weenie lol

Maddie811

Date posted: 2y ago

Happy Birthday!!!🎉

K-M

Date posted: 2y ago

@Maddie811 Thank you!!

Dunkin2019!

Date posted: 17w ago

Feeling angry with ocd

I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like I’m missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like it’s completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancé knew that I didn’t want children/ feel like I can’t have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that “people who are abused can become abusers”. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that I’m missing out. So I’m constantly questioning if I truly feel like I don’t want them or if ocd is convincing me I don’t. Ugh. It’s just so frustrating.

hereintheUK

Date posted: 13w ago

Sudden setback

Where do I begin with this…….. so my OCD has been around since childhood and has had many themes over the years. I only realised I have it just over 2 years ago. I’ve tried many things to help it not be such a monster and thought I had a good grip on it for a length of time until now! Some of my strategies have been acceptance, change of perception of thoughts and sometimes on hard days just telling myself that no matter what, I have to be brave and go out and live life. In the last few months I’ve developed none OCD related anxiety as well and so have been looking at ways to help with that. Sunday morning I was just casually scrolling TikTok and a video only about 30 seconds long or so comes up, seemingly a therapist of some kind, straight away the video began something like “you cannot replace a thought with another thought” along the lines of “you can’t THINK your way out anxiety” I don’t know the full context of the video it wasn’t long enough, I don’t know who the therapist was I didn’t look but now purely because of that one sentence my OCD has gripped onto it so badly and is trying to tear down some of my strategies because I have used changing my thought patterns a lot to help me, self compassion etc but now because of that video I’m struggling! I’m not looking for answers but I am just really upset and it feels like I’m in an impossible grip of OCD again

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