Healing trough poetry

If you look at the definition of gaslighting, you would notice that Pure-O fits ALL of its check boxes. I know its hard, but mindfulness is very powerful. if you really look around you and try to bring yourself back into the present, you will start to realize Pure-O is making you feel these things to make you try to figure out where they come from. Think about it: you have had to at some degree, pick up on Pure-O's patterns: Intrusive thought, feeling, sensation, urges, ideas, and/or memorie(s) phase 2: Anxiety spikes,and their sizes increase the more you try to rid the thoughts, making it feel like a real problem; "it feels so real", Phase 3) Compulsions, Googles searching, going on forums, youtube videos, ,Mentally reviewing events, avoiding certain people, situations, etc. Phase 4) temporary relief.... ..Until it starts agains for another 2,3,4 hours:( It WANTS you to keep you in its sick game of a scavenger hunt, "let's see if you are actually a bad person" 'Are yu sure you're not a pedo?" "you might be Bisexual! Better find out!" "You are going to hell!!" "Are you even real? Are your feelings real?" "Your dog is probably sick with an uncurable disease! better double-check to make sure!" All these statements, suggestions, and questions are things your OCD does to gaslight you into denying and/or even doubting your reality, or your entire being, which is sad. But keep searching for resources to help pin-point Pure-O/OCD's triicks and you will get epiphany after epiphany, it helped me, even thought i forget that OCD can also re-use tricks and we dont even know it!! Best luck to you!!:)

@Acekid128 I have looked up gaslighting and it seems strikingly familiar to what ocd does. Of course after I looked it up, I almost convinced myself thst before I was gaslighting myself when I didn't have ocd.

@Meg Johnson - I get it, i also didnt think i had it because of stereotypes, and i still get anxious and distressed thinking im faking Pure-O because i have no official diagnosis, but when i tell you i relate a lot to people on r/ocdmemes and people here at NOCD, theres no denying i have Pure-O. gaslighting can also make you feel like you cannot trust yourself, which is also how us people with Pure-O feel. so now were are in this constant limbo or do i or do i not have Pure-O? or am i lying? which, now we have made a breeding ground for Imposter symdrome; and i won't be surprised that most people with this disorder have this, because i feel like i have developed ot to some extent. The best thing to do id focus on the present and do things you love and let the thoughts pass. Hope this helps:))

@Acekid128 You're absolutely right. Above anything, I feel like I can't trust myself or my past self. In the beginning I felt like I could but the longer it went on, the more I started to believe it and then dig through my past, which of course only led to more "proof". Like nothing changed, but it takes on a new meaning for me. Basically I feel like I have no faith in myself or my past self. It's total gaslighting.

@Meg Johnson - thats totally correct! Feeling like the more you dig, the more pure-o has evidence agaisnt you, even hearing people who dont have OCD tell their stories and their stories trigger you so bad, badly enough that you stop watching or reading something half way throught because the feelings and thoughts star flowing and your anxiety spikes keep hitting one after another. like i sadi, its like a limbo and you feel like you are lying about your disorder. i know i hvae pure-o because of my temperment. I'm a highly sensitive person (HSP). It's not a disorder or anything, but because of my sensitive nature, i am subjected by default to be more likely to have Anxiety disorders and depression because i reflect deeply about a lot of things, which can easily make me overthink. And knowing i have a family member who has a disorder, it's not out-of-reach to assume that i really do have Pure-O. I just try my best to live my life and remind myself its pure-o and carry on.