Question

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

I’ve had this feeling all day that I’m just gonna lose control because I’m not checking how I feel. I had this thought like oh well you wouldn’t be brushing your teeth or eating if you was gonna act on it and then I felt relief for a bit and now I’ve started getting thoughts like what’s the point in cleaning or eating if you’re gonna act on it & now I feel confused?? What’s going on

Can harm ocd give you thoughts like when you’re in front of a trigger “why don’t you do it” and sometimes I either freeze don’t know what to do with myself and then an urge to throw the item away. Is this something else? And sometimes I get thoughts like “what if I’m lying to myself” and “do you think you’re lying to yourself”