- Date posted
- 2y
Does this sound like friendship ROCD?
I had a friend share with me that they have felt like I was ahead of them (I guess in terms of life & success) and while I know it was probably vulnerable of them to share this…I started to worry and overthink and now obsessively think the following: -what if I share what I want to pursue in my life and my friend starts to compare themself to me? Or what if I start to compare myself to them because we might have similar careers? -what if they try to compete with me or I compete with them? -what if they become jealous of me? Or am I jealous of them? My friend has also shared with me that they weren’t sure how I was going to respond to their news of pursuing a new career because others weren’t as supportive. And I was very supportive and happy for my friend. But it bothered me that they doubted how I would respond as they know I am supportive of others pursuing their goals. My friend has shared they tend to struggle with comparison. Prior to all of this, I myself didn’t find myself struggling with comparison but I feel like since they have shared these things with me, I feel like it contaminated me mentally and I start to question if I’m comparing myself to others? And I don’t like it. I spend a-lot of time googling ROCD friendships, going over messages my friend has sent me to analyze how I’ve supported them and to analyze if they truly support me, it feels like I want to avoid their social media posts so I’ve muted them but now I deactivated my social media accounts for a break because I’ve been struggling. I can see how black and white my thinking is and often find people with OCD struggle with this. I can see how it’s normal to experience possible competition, comparison, jealousy etc in friendships but part of me doesn’t want to accept it because I was never like this before. & as I mentioned before I just wonder if my friend never had shared with me what they were feeling, I would not be going thru this. Side note: I’ve always valued empowerment and supporting others but since this has happened I start to doubt this of myself now. And I can see how OCD is attacking this value of mine but i am feeling like I’m the only one with these kinds of thoughts and wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar or if this is even OCD?