- Username
- Tee10
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Resentment
I’m honestly having a hard time with resentment right now towards my boyfriend. Overall, my OCD has improved a lot, but I’m still feeling off and my therapist (outside of NOCD, for trauma) says it could be my nervous system trying to protect myself from the person who caused me so much suffering. My boyfriend was undiagnosed bipolar and was abusive during our relationship. We took some time apart, he had a manic episode that put him in a behavior hospital and now he’s been on medication ever since. Now that we are back together he is treating me so great and I feel better about that but I’m still just not the same. It’s so hard because I love him but I can’t seem to forget the past and be accepting of the fact that I haven’t been the same since. My mental health just completely deteriorated after I experienced everything with him. Since being with him, the OCD started, depression, you name it. I started taking benzodiazepines, experiencing insomnia and now I honestly see people and the world differently and it’s just scary. I’m wondering if I need to let him go to fully heal. My nervous system is still very out of whack and I need to go through more trauma work but I’m worried about not being able to get there being with him. It sucks. Has anyone else experienced resentment towards someone who contributed to a decline in your mental health?