Colorism ocd

I have a weird one idk if its OCD but I know im a decent guy, at least average looking but I feel like I need validation from girls. Its like i just want to know for sure if im attractive and how much is so… perhaps from a fear of not being good enough. With much reluctance and self-hatred i downloaded a dating app and actually did get matches and conversations, etc which surprised me and gave me like a “high” for a while and a sense of relief like “oh thank goodness I must be attractive then” but no matter what, somehow my anxiety would always find a way of convincing that I wasnt. Ie: if a girl and I werent compatible and she unmatched me I’d feel like I wasnt good enough, or if she asked me to hang out id just think she must be easy and says that to many guys etc. Like no matter what my anxiety prevails and despite the reassurance I got from actually doing decently well on this app, it has only left me feeling more anxious, rejected, depressed and confused. Is this OCD?

I'm a South Asian woman and I've been told that I'm very pretty. I think I'm not bad looking. I'm 19 and on my dating app profile I definitely look decent. I also have a more goth/alt vibe going on. I went on reddit and there were a lot of posts on the indian American shnreddit on how indian women were generally not seen as desirable. I don't live in America, I live in a very diverse area in Toronto. I don't think my race is realistically the reason I was getting fee matches. I observed tinder and bumble were glitchimg. Ik this for sure. My hinge was 50/50 and was Def weird on my phone and I've been told that can happen. I never get hit on but I've noticed men checking me out on many occasions and I've also been told I'm kind of intimidating (in person). I've had men slide into my dms like twice but I've also tried to start convos with guts (purely platonic ) who didn't respond. I'm almost certain my negativity bias due to depression and ocd are at play here but my mind is like well no one thinks you're hot. Even though friends. Family and even guy friends are like yeah no you're pretty. I hope I don't sound narcissistic but I genuinely struggle to find worth outside of potential beauty. I've always been super weird never finding in so OMG PEOPLE LIKE ME ? is a nee feeling

So I feel like I’ve been making lots of progress with my OCD, but there’s one key obsession I just can’t let go of: The fear of being an incel (i.e. involuntarily celibate). Now, before anything else, I must say that I don’t hate women at all. If anything, most of my closest friends have been women. I also do admire women’s other gifts, not just beauty. I too have many “feminine” traits, or at least things that are typically associated with women like cooking, gardening, caring for others, and being open about my emotions. It all seems like I was a healthy blend of masculine and feminine traits, and that it was ok to not be a “Chad”. That is, until I came across the term “incel” My OCD really likes to make me believe I’m an incel, because quite frankly, I’m not exactly conventionally attractive. I’ve been on Tinder, only to be scammed, blackmailed, and rejected. No success there… so my OCD draws the conclusion, yeah you’re an incel. Even though I’m appalled and grossed out by incel forums, and I refuse to be labeled as an incel, OCD makes me think that. I’ve come to the conclusion that I should just give up on dating, because it just doesn’t seem worth the effort. And before anyone starts saying I should work on myself, I’m self aware enough to know what I’m weak at. I’ve lost a ton of weight, go to therapy, take time for self care, have now a job, have my own place, and otherwise doing ok for myself. Do anyone else out there get this too? Female “incel” comments are welcome too.