How can I help my son with OCD who lies about school assignments?

Help with understanding lying

My son has OCD and I’m starting to catch him lying about thing related to OCD. For example, he’s always gotten good grades and he’s bright but with OCD he misses a lot of school due to anxiety. When he misses school he needs to make up his work. I’ll remind him to go to x teacher and get with them about the assignment. After school I’ll ask him about it and he’ll say she wasn’t there or that he talked to her and they made a plan. He recently admitted that sometimes he’s lying about what really happened. He said the teacher will have said to come at 1:00 but OCD said he could only go at 2:33 or 2:34 (very specific) so since the teacher wasn’t available at that time he didn’t go. I’m trying to understand a way to help with this. Some sort of ERP he could do and help with understanding if I should be concerned there is more lying going on. Any tips?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Also does anyone see a theme here? That would at least help me focus on something.

Username: sjsmith98sjsmith98

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

It sounds maybe like Just Right OCD, though I'm not a therapist nor do I have Just Right so I'm not 100% sure, but it could be a start to look into. I would say maybe start at something at home, if he's focused on time, try to think of ERP involving time you could do at home where he learns that he can do things before things feel just right. I think the lying most likely comes from being embarrassed or not wanting to admit why he can't do things at certain times. At least for me when I lie about OCD that's the typical case. I beat myself up over things I feel like I can't do because of my OCD. Hope any of this helps! A therapist through the NOCD would definitely be able to make a plan specific to his needs too, I think they have an option to meet just you and the therapist? Just something to think about!

Username: seaangelseaangel

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m not a professional but I struggle with OCD. I’m in my first year of college & I’m starting to slack with my work because of how bad my OCD has been (the anxiety that comes with it). In my experience, there were times where I did something similar, like “I have to leave the house at 12:12 or something bad will happen”. Pursuing that action of leaving the house at a certain time is the “C”: compulsion part of OCD. A therapist told me when you stop doing the compulsion, the thoughts will let up. It’s hard to do. I hope this helps

Username: SadLlama2525SadLlama2525

Date posted: 1y ago

Man, going to school when you have OCD is literally the absolute worst. Especially when you have to talk to the teacher about catching up on work, because, what if they ask where you were, and that’s not something you feel comfortable sharing, what if they tell you you’re faking your anxiety or just need to toughen up, or tell you it’s no excuse and it’s unfair to other students to give an extension. Add that on top of the anxiety about time, school, grades, the teacher’s reaction, it is really hard. School is not easy for a lot of kids, but especially when you have something like OCD, so I completely understand where he’s coming from. It might help if you email the teacher directly or schedule an IEP meeting about his situation and work out some way to get him his assignment and the instructions for it without having to personally ask his teacher each time he misses. I know I don’t know the exact situation, but I know that if my parents had helped me out like that when I was in school, I would have far less teacher-caused trauma and anxiety than I do now.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@SadLlama2525 Thank you for responding. This is so helpful. He says he dreads school because all of his triggers are there. Thank you for also bringing up some things I may not have thought of.

Username: SadLlama2525SadLlama2525

Date posted: 1y ago

No problem. I hope you guys are able to work things out to make it easier for him.

Username: Cabby

Date posted: 4y ago

Hello ?? I’m new here. I’m a mother to a 7 year old boy that has not only been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum, Sensory Integration, ADHD but also OCD. He is afraid or germs, and he’s constantly asking me for reassurance with bad thoughts he is having. From his mind telling him he’s going to hurt me but he doesn’t want to, to telling me his mind is saying he likes boys but he thinks it’s nasty, to constantly repeating things that he did bad years ago that no longer matter even tho he has already told me. Also him saying things that I know didn’t happen but yet he says he’s not sure if it did or if it didn’t happen. To him brushing his teeth and counting. He can brush his teeth now and 2 minutes later I’ll ask him if he brushed his teeth and he will say did you me brush my teeth and if I say no he will say he doesn’t remember and he will go and brush again and again until I say yes I saw you. This is all so overwhelming I don’t know what else to do.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Anyone else have obsessive thoughts about getting murdered? My 8 year old son is experiencing this and is very scared if he’s not close enough to see me in the house. We did ERP for scary images but he says he’s now more scared, not less, because the images used in erp gave him new things to be scared about. Ugh. Anyone else have these types of obsessive thoughts and found relief with erp? He doesn’t have any physical compulsions by the way, just continually seeking reassurance.

Username: Rhys34

Date posted: 2y ago

Lying

Does anyone else with ocd lie a lot? I found myself lying when I first started ocd treatment to try to make everything seem like I had a picture perfect life when I don’t. And it just went from one lie to another. Now I feel extremely guilty. I am much better now but I still feel that guilt. I don’t wanna lose my best friend. I know shes figured a lot of shit out. She’s a genius (literally). But she’s never treated me any differently. She holds me accountable which is one of the many many things I love about her.

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How can I help my son with OCD who lies about school assignments?

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