- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No, no, no!! Not what I was saying at all. Please don't worry about this. I meant that I used to be scared of being attracted to women bc of my religious upbringing. Hence the obsession and worrying. But then I realized, it's not wrong to feel attracted to girls and I am still attracted to my husband and so it wouldn't even change anything. And that's when the OCD thoughts stopped and I realized im actually bi and not just having HOCD. see the difference? I think mine was more a case of scrupulosity (religion OCD) than HOCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Like I was always attracted to women but was in denial bc od my religion and started having intrusive thoughts tied to it bc of guilt and shame. Once the guilt and shame went away, and I started going to a church that accepts lgbtq people, I realized this is a real part of me not just ocd
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh ok I understand what you mean now. You have always felt attracted to women you just didn’t want to because of your religion. That makes since I’m glad you came to peace with everything!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But wait, are you saying the 'attraction' will never leave!? Back in the days when I saw a men that was good looking, I always thought about I wanted to look like him, like have a cool beard or something like that, but I was never attracted to them, I always liked girls. But since I have HOCD I always get a shock of anxiety when I see someone good looking, will this never leave??
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Good for you! I'm glad. The thing is that life is not black and white the way hollywood has showed us. Look, right now it's acceptable to be LGBTTTT but not a pedophile. In other times and societies has been the opposite. The important thing is that you know what you want and wish for yourself and the ones you love. Is my pocd real then? Who knows. Do I want to get divorced and start chasing minors around? Of course not - I want to share rime with my family, travel, learn new languages, see my daughter grow up, etc.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@arborvitae thanks for your response! I'm very glad for you!! Sorry I think I misunderstood you. When did you discovered you were bi, and how? I don't want to use this as reassurance, but I'm just curious. Fake attraction is very hard to deal with for me, so that's why I want to know more about this topic.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
When I realized I was bi and accepted it I didn't have as many sexual intrusive thoughts about girls but I haven't had the fear that other things will turn out the same way.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm exactly in same the situation!!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Lauren, you are correct. I'm one of those people that has the "groinal response" at awkward times and have always tried to attribute it to something. But with this it is different bc the distress was not about the idea of the act itself but about what others would think. Whereas with my pocd, there is absolutely no way in hell that I want to do anything, it's completely and utterly ego-dystonic.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w ago
I did an erp and I was thinking over and over again “I want to be with girls I just don’t want others to find out” and then it felt like a moment of yeah that is what I want. It felt really real I can’t believe it’s not. I wasn’t anxious about it. It felt completely like me and even when I tried to deny it like it was a true realization and that I wanted it to be true. I can’t do this. What do I do!!! Erp suggestions?
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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