- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
No, no, no!! Not what I was saying at all. Please don't worry about this. I meant that I used to be scared of being attracted to women bc of my religious upbringing. Hence the obsession and worrying. But then I realized, it's not wrong to feel attracted to girls and I am still attracted to my husband and so it wouldn't even change anything. And that's when the OCD thoughts stopped and I realized im actually bi and not just having HOCD. see the difference? I think mine was more a case of scrupulosity (religion OCD) than HOCD
- Date posted
- 6y
Like I was always attracted to women but was in denial bc od my religion and started having intrusive thoughts tied to it bc of guilt and shame. Once the guilt and shame went away, and I started going to a church that accepts lgbtq people, I realized this is a real part of me not just ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh ok I understand what you mean now. You have always felt attracted to women you just didn’t want to because of your religion. That makes since I’m glad you came to peace with everything!!
- Date posted
- 6y
But wait, are you saying the 'attraction' will never leave!? Back in the days when I saw a men that was good looking, I always thought about I wanted to look like him, like have a cool beard or something like that, but I was never attracted to them, I always liked girls. But since I have HOCD I always get a shock of anxiety when I see someone good looking, will this never leave??
- Date posted
- 6y
Good for you! I'm glad. The thing is that life is not black and white the way hollywood has showed us. Look, right now it's acceptable to be LGBTTTT but not a pedophile. In other times and societies has been the opposite. The important thing is that you know what you want and wish for yourself and the ones you love. Is my pocd real then? Who knows. Do I want to get divorced and start chasing minors around? Of course not - I want to share rime with my family, travel, learn new languages, see my daughter grow up, etc.
- Date posted
- 6y
@arborvitae thanks for your response! I'm very glad for you!! Sorry I think I misunderstood you. When did you discovered you were bi, and how? I don't want to use this as reassurance, but I'm just curious. Fake attraction is very hard to deal with for me, so that's why I want to know more about this topic.
- Date posted
- 6y
When I realized I was bi and accepted it I didn't have as many sexual intrusive thoughts about girls but I haven't had the fear that other things will turn out the same way.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm exactly in same the situation!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Lauren, you are correct. I'm one of those people that has the "groinal response" at awkward times and have always tried to attribute it to something. But with this it is different bc the distress was not about the idea of the act itself but about what others would think. Whereas with my pocd, there is absolutely no way in hell that I want to do anything, it's completely and utterly ego-dystonic.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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