I’ve been struggling so much this month. I’m over it. I don’t care anymore. Ocd is affecting my life, my happiness, my relationship, my family, I’m trying so hard to overcome and deal with it better but I’m seriously done. I can’t do this anymore. My false memories are killing me inside.
The only times I’ve ever truly gotten where I could say was significantly better is when I finally told Jesus I set it all at His feet. I don’t know if you’re into that kinda thing so this may not hit home for you like I’m hoping.. but it truly changed my life. I’m still struggling severely, but with hope that I can’t shake. It does and WILL get better… you just have to push a little farther. You’re a warrior for even making it this far, why not get something out of all this pain? At this point it’s a nothing to lose everything to gain moment, and I know you have it in you. Stay strong, storms can be scary, but they can also fade away🫶🏼
While religion and spirituality shouldn't be relied on for treatment, I respect that it works for you. I leaned on it too hard and it made things worse for me, but different things for different people as they say
@seagull2 It didn’t just make me feel better for a second or just simply give me something to lean on… it changed my life in a time that I tried rejecting it entirely. Jesus loves and can heal anybody, and while I can’t remember the verse.. I know He says “If you seek me whole heartedly, you will find me”
@seagull2 Hey man, I just checked your profile and I like what you said about “Wherever you are, it will be okay. This too shall pass” I needed that more than you know brother, I appreciate your positivity despite your circumstances. OCD and mental illness is general is an invisible battlefield, so I guess that makes you an undercover warrior✊🏻 rather what I said about the Lord makes a difference to you or not, just know that you’re not alone and we’re coming out of this man, just finish the marathon. A little bit farther. You’re stronger than you may think, and that’s only going to grow
@seagull2 You got this👊🏼
@Cody Thank you for your words. I’m having false memory every moment and it’s attacking me because of this new relationship. God is a big part of my life and yesterday I got advice from my mother to put it at gods hands and yes Jesus feet. Faith is big so I thank you. It’s just been very intense but I’m trying to tell myself that it’s a good space to utilize for Erp. It’s so difficult. You’re right also about turning it into something good. I want to take this pain into the gym but I end up wanting to lay down and do nothing and cry. It takes work but man is this torture
@Cody Thanks, all the best to you, may you be blessed
@Mooooni ERP is really hard -I ask God for the strength to reduce my compulsions and I am thankful for the good erp therapists I have had to help me do hard exposures. 🙏🫶
@Erin P That’s awesome. Glad you’re getting therapy. I’m going to start therapy again this week. I need to. It’s been so hard
@Mooooni I hope you have a really good erp therapist. I’m currently doing it on my own because I’m too severe for most providers to take, but I’m using all the good tools I’ve learned.
@Erin P Do you mind sharing what kind of tools you use?
@Erin P & thank you
@Mooooni Basic go towards the fear concept: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqts1uGCm468oPTFWkQ4Ewb4tMUrKYqOC ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ Letting the thoughts pass without trying to get rid of them or making them better: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/shoulders-back-the-man-in-the-park/ Self compassion (Shala Nicely has good blogs on this too), knowing it can be two steps forward and one step back but doing the work anyway, labeling compulsions and obsessions as ocd, trying to think of what I would do instead if I didn’t have ocd. Using an erp hierarchy of fears and gradually working though them. I haven’t looked through it yet but I’m thinking there are a lot of good tools for free on anxieties.com I hope these are helpful for you.
@Erin P You’re so sweet. I’m going to check these out. Thank you so much!!
@Mooooni Anytime. I hope they help you.
@Mooooni Of course!! I have a beautiful song I think you may like: https://youtu.be/SPoZ6EXwNUs And just don’t give up on yourself!! God will never give up on you, He knows your pains and struggles and He’s hurting right there with you, but He’s also teaching you how to be the inspiration you may be for generations to come. I believe in you, because I believe in the God that is within you. He says with Him “all things are possible” so please please please don’t give up. The miracle is just around the corner!! 🙏🏼
@Cody Thank you so much for your kind words always. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. It’s been so hard but I’m trying. I’m going to check out the song. I really appreciate it. God bless you Cody!
I’m sorry ur feeling that way but please know it gets better, I’m struggling with that too!! You’re not alone
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I feel so tired
I'm tired of it but the only way is forward
I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
