Question about therapy. Trigger warning!

Hi guys. Hope you're doing good. I have a question about therapy. For a long time i believed in therapy. I decided to take a leap of faith & start therapy. But i also live in a family that don't belive in therapy at all. So i had a really hard time going to therapy & i had to tolerate their nagging and judgements & it was hard getting money from them for therapy. In these years i had to switch about 4 therapists. It took time for me to realize they weren't the right therapist for me. Wether they didn't know how to treat ocd & made it worse. Or i felt unfairly being judged by them. Or i felt unheard. I was in so much agony, anger & pain. Now the image of therapist has become like a monster in my head. Everything i do, everything i say, everything i feel, the image of a therapist comes into my head that tells me certain things. Things like:" how do you know what you think is true?" "You don't want to be cured. You are like someone whom i offer something to take to be cured but refuse to do it." "You want to live in pain." "Who put that idea into your head?" "You are too sensitive. Other people had it worse" &.... God knows i want to be heard. I want to have a therapist whom i can trust & talk to. Someone who understands OCD & my condition. But I'm not sure if i can do this anymore. If i can go to a therapist and in result, all of my hopes be shattered again, plus my condition getting worse and i start hating myself even more for their blaming. I don't know what to do. Should i keep searching? Or am i in this alone. I'm so scared to put my trust in someone again. But i know i need help. And i don't know what to do.

Nica

Date posted: 2y

I highly suggest seeing a therapist on this app since they are specialists in OCD and can help you in that regard.

Nasim

Date posted: 2y

Thank you. I would love to. And i contacted them. But unfortunately they emailed me that they can't provide service in my country. I didn't even get my free call☹️

InvaderX

Date posted: 2y

Your poor experiences have caused a warped image of what therapist is and does. Whenever you seek help again, inform your therapist that this is very important for you (not feel judged, feel that you can openly express your feelings). It’s hard for everyone here to express their thoughts, it’s embarrassing. Trust me, no one wants to talk about how they incessantly touch object a certain number of times or believe a higher power is judging them based on OCD compulsions etc. It can feel like you’re being judged when it’s purely in your mind as well, keep this in mind as well. Therapists are there to help, I believe you will overcome this issue. Good luck.

Nasim

Date posted: 2y

Thank you. I will do so😀

Dee C

Date posted: 2y

Maybe you can try The International OCD Foundation or IOCDF.org. To see if they list resources in your country. Hoping this’ll help. Stay strong, you got this!!!

Dee C

Date posted: 2y

When it comes to mental health you’re number 1. Everything & everyone else is secondary. Don’t mind being challenged by the therapist so long as it gives you insight (not reassurance) about your ocd. Please consider reaching out to the NOCD Care Team available through this app. Hoping this helps you!!!

Nasim

Date posted: 2y

Thank you. I keep that in mind😀🙏🏻 Unfortunately Nocd service isn't available in my country.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Decades of OCD..confused about my next steps!!!

I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

Without therapy for months . Please help. Please

I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.

rosecarman

Date posted: 16w

Bad therapy experience

Every therapist I’ve tried for OCD has felt dehumanizing and judgy, as if I’m the threat not my OCD. I’m still looking for a good therapist. Have you ever had a bad therapy experience?

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