Depressed about my age

So I am struggling a lot with an issue and I don’t know if it is OCD related or not, but I am always concerned about how people see me in terms of age and I want to be seen so much younger than I am even though I get told that I do look a lot younger than my age and the age that people may say I look is how I want to be treated. Particularly at the residential facility I am going to. I just can’t seem to cope with the age I am. I think this has something to do with how I was raised by dad and unfortunately what my mom tried to teach me didn’t stick. I just feel like I have missed out on my childhood because I didn’t get diagnosed until 16 and that has made me feel awful because I can’t move forward because there is a lot I have missed out on. This also has to do with activities I could have stuck with in the past if I just didn’t let my social anxiety get in the way. I could have had a future maybe in a sport or something so I wouldn’t have to go to college since school was hard for me.When it comes to getting treatment I don’t even want to be in the age group they have for me because I really don’t relate to people my age. Has anyone else experienced this feeling?

AllyJo

Date posted: 2y

Yes! This is different, and I don’t know EXACTLY what you are going through, but I have an idea. I have had a rough childhood and had to become an adult at the age of twelve. I’m a growing teenager that struggles with teen struggles, OCD, and Depression and the stuff I’m going through. My depression and ocd collide and it’s so painful. I get down on myself and analyze every good thing about me down to the last drop until I come to the conclusion that “everyone hates me”. The depression and criticism process is my compulsion because I can control it I just don’t know how and honestly halfway don’t want to. I think that if I ignore criticizing myself I’m just avoiding the truth and it is so penalizing and crippling. I feel like I’m not getting to enjoy my youth because I’m so caught up in my Amygdala. Maybe we could help each other out @Biracialbeauty1

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo from Pluto Thanks for responding. I am a lot older than you, but I never got better and it is hard to focus on getting better when you have to be an adult. I feel sick about it really because I am never at peace and I am getting worse as time goes by. I had a great childhood when I was little, but I was shy and was afraid of talking to other kids. I guess we can help each other.

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo from Pluto I am sorry you are going through all this by the way.

AllyJo

Date posted: 2y

It will be a part of my life story someday, so don’t be sorry.

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo from Pluto I hope we can both overcome this.

AllyJo

Date posted: 2y

We will! I have faith in us!

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo I want to tell you that I don’t know if you know that I am an adult and I am 30 years old so I feel guilty about it because I don’t like sharing my age. I don’t know if sharing this is a compulsion or not. Since I don’t have a therapist right now it is really hard. Because everybody is saying I need residential treatment.

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo My OCD was tearing me up because of wondering if I did something wrong in what I posted last night. That’s all.

AllyJo

Date posted: 2y

Your probably feel that way because I’m really young. Thank you so much but I’m aware that most of the users here are grown adults

Warriorforever

Date posted: 2y

@AllyJo Oh okay.

flyana

Date posted: 25w

Sometimes I feel too old for OCD

Anyone else over 30 and dealing with thoughts that feel debilitating? I know I’m not alone, but I’m curious who else is with me.

Mgully09

Date posted: 17w

I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind

I hate the way ocd has completely messed up my brain, I struggle to tell the difference between an intrusive though and a regular one, I have really bad issues with morality and I feel as if my brain can no longer tell what is and isn't right and I can't tell if I'm over reacting about situations and I end up feeling stuck in a loop of wondering if I'm a bad person and trying to look at a situation rationally and not knowing if that's even possible with the state of my mind, I feel like none of my thoughts are actually mine. I hate it and I wish I could feel in control of my thoughts even for just a day, just to know what it's like. I've had ocd symptoms since I was about 9-10 so i feel like I've never really know a life without it. I just wish I could live out my teenage years like anyone else my age. I can hardly engage with my hobbies and passions and I don't know what to do about it. I can't go to therapy or get medication because I'm not even diagnosed, I just feel trapped. I'm only a teenager, like I said, I don't want to live my entire life like this.

"Pure" OCD

2005grl

Date posted: 11w

worried 😔

this is probably kinda jumbled but over the past almost year or so i've slowly realized i have ocd (i'm diagnosed audhd but over time i started feeling like those alone didn't cover the whole issue yk?), and recently i've been kinda worried i guess. it’s just that i’m turning 21 in 6 months and i’m afraid that this disorder is going to rob me of joyful adult milestones in my life. honestly being 20 has sucked, i can’t even remember wtf being 18 was like, and my childhood in general wasn't the best either, but i've been struggling a lot as of late and i don't want how i feel now to be the same as how i feel next year. my meds have helped quiet my compulsions a significant amount (i literally felt like i was going kinda cray cray when i was off them 😭) but they’re not completely gone. sometimes it just seems like this is all it's ever gonna be forever and i’m always gonna feel ashamed of myself for just like… existing. my 21 year old self deserves to be happy but idk if i’ll be able to give that to her 🥲🥲🥲

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Depressed about my age

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