- Username
- DDJ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Dear friend, here's a thought. Take it or leave it. Whatever you prefer. Love is not a feeling, love is action. Love is not feeling bas the poor starving children but actually feeding them. Love is not being sad about an old person who needs to cross the street but actually helping them cross it. Your husband does not have a love-metronome by wich he measures the volume of love-feelings you have for him. He loves you by your actions, your kind gestures, your tender behaviour. If are going to let OCD stop you from doing those behaviors until you can feel them, then I am sorry to tell you this but then your husband might actually start feeling unloved. --- Back when I had severe OCD I didn't want to leave my house until I was 100% reassured that I was incapable of harming my daughter whom I love like nothing else on earth. When I realized where that was going to lead me, I realized that the most loving thing I could do for her was to go to work even in the midsts of panic to make money so that she could keep on living and enjoying her beautiful life. What bigger expression of love than to feel that you are about to die and still pick up yourself and go and DO loving things.
Ocd will always put thoughts in ur head and make u feel certain ways and then make u feel guilty for it. Ur allowed to have ur own life and allowed to have fun. All ur doing is having some alone time with friends and that’s normal and perfectly ok!!!
From what I understand you feel the same as the original poster; that is, You WANT to love your husband again but You THINK whether or not you should. This is a clear example of cognition vs. behaviour. You don't have control of your thoughts, period. You DO have control over your behaviour. My head can scream really loud that I should eat the chocolate cookie. However I know that is not what I WANT so I choose the carrot despite my brain screaming loudly that the cookie tastes really good and the carrot is awful. You can have one hundred thoughts about why you shouldn't be with your husband or why you might not be in love with him, etc. Who cares! What do YOU WANT? What do YOU value? If my suspicion is right, your obsession is just like the rest of our obsessions - we feel guilty for not "thinking" and "feeling" the way "normal people" do. You gotta thank media for that. People who don't love their spouses don't ruminate about it on OCD forums. They go and continually DO actions that show that they don't love their spouses and they don't have any struggles with it.
Girl I feel you
Sometimes I’ll get thoughts like “do I wanna love him tho” “do I wanna fight this” any thoughts on this @fernandoV
Well I feel guilt now because I am going out with one of my gfs tonight to do karaoke and I feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to get out and get away :(
I haven't seen her in months, shebworks a whole lot. My husband has been working nights and doubles so I barely see him and it makes it hard too
I just want to love him!!! It’s not fair!! Everytime I talk to him I wanna break up… I can’t tell if ROCD is there anymore… please… I want this urge to go away!!! 😭 What if breaking up is the only way… to know. I don’t wanna break up with him. Did anyone on here 100% believed they lost feelings bc of obsessing? 😢💔
Hey friends. I’m kind of experiencing a spike today. Everything my husband says or does to love me makes me feel sick. I’m avoiding him and just dreading pursuing quality time. How do you choose through this and these strong feelings and urges? It sucks. Has anyone seen the other side with more confidence?
“I love him of course I wanna spend the rest of my life with him” “I feel nothing I don’t know why because I felt everything 2 weeks ago” “I’m okay it’s ocd” “What if it isn’t ocd and it’s the truth” “I love him, wait I feel like I’m lying to myself” “I’m in denial the love is gone” I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN.💔
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