- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Dear friend, here's a thought. Take it or leave it. Whatever you prefer. Love is not a feeling, love is action. Love is not feeling bas the poor starving children but actually feeding them. Love is not being sad about an old person who needs to cross the street but actually helping them cross it. Your husband does not have a love-metronome by wich he measures the volume of love-feelings you have for him. He loves you by your actions, your kind gestures, your tender behaviour. If are going to let OCD stop you from doing those behaviors until you can feel them, then I am sorry to tell you this but then your husband might actually start feeling unloved. --- Back when I had severe OCD I didn't want to leave my house until I was 100% reassured that I was incapable of harming my daughter whom I love like nothing else on earth. When I realized where that was going to lead me, I realized that the most loving thing I could do for her was to go to work even in the midsts of panic to make money so that she could keep on living and enjoying her beautiful life. What bigger expression of love than to feel that you are about to die and still pick up yourself and go and DO loving things.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ocd will always put thoughts in ur head and make u feel certain ways and then make u feel guilty for it. Ur allowed to have ur own life and allowed to have fun. All ur doing is having some alone time with friends and that’s normal and perfectly ok!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
From what I understand you feel the same as the original poster; that is, You WANT to love your husband again but You THINK whether or not you should. This is a clear example of cognition vs. behaviour. You don't have control of your thoughts, period. You DO have control over your behaviour. My head can scream really loud that I should eat the chocolate cookie. However I know that is not what I WANT so I choose the carrot despite my brain screaming loudly that the cookie tastes really good and the carrot is awful. You can have one hundred thoughts about why you shouldn't be with your husband or why you might not be in love with him, etc. Who cares! What do YOU WANT? What do YOU value? If my suspicion is right, your obsession is just like the rest of our obsessions - we feel guilty for not "thinking" and "feeling" the way "normal people" do. You gotta thank media for that. People who don't love their spouses don't ruminate about it on OCD forums. They go and continually DO actions that show that they don't love their spouses and they don't have any struggles with it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Girl I feel you
- Date posted
- 6y
Sometimes I’ll get thoughts like “do I wanna love him tho” “do I wanna fight this” any thoughts on this @fernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
Well I feel guilt now because I am going out with one of my gfs tonight to do karaoke and I feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to get out and get away :(
- Date posted
- 6y
I haven't seen her in months, shebworks a whole lot. My husband has been working nights and doubles so I barely see him and it makes it hard too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
It all feels so real… HOCD and ROCD… I know I love my husband but I don’t feel anything rn not even talking about HOCD. I know it’s the worst thing I can do but it starts to feel like the right thing to do..
- Date posted
- 20w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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