DDJ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Dear friend, here's a thought. Take it or leave it. Whatever you prefer. Love is not a feeling, love is action. Love is not feeling bas the poor starving children but actually feeding them. Love is not being sad about an old person who needs to cross the street but actually helping them cross it. Your husband does not have a love-metronome by wich he measures the volume of love-feelings you have for him. He loves you by your actions, your kind gestures, your tender behaviour. If are going to let OCD stop you from doing those behaviors until you can feel them, then I am sorry to tell you this but then your husband might actually start feeling unloved. --- Back when I had severe OCD I didn't want to leave my house until I was 100% reassured that I was incapable of harming my daughter whom I love like nothing else on earth. When I realized where that was going to lead me, I realized that the most loving thing I could do for her was to go to work even in the midsts of panic to make money so that she could keep on living and enjoying her beautiful life. What bigger expression of love than to feel that you are about to die and still pick up yourself and go and DO loving things.
aholcomb17aholcomb17
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ocd will always put thoughts in ur head and make u feel certain ways and then make u feel guilty for it. Ur allowed to have ur own life and allowed to have fun. All ur doing is having some alone time with friends and that’s normal and perfectly ok!!!
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
From what I understand you feel the same as the original poster; that is, You WANT to love your husband again but You THINK whether or not you should. This is a clear example of cognition vs. behaviour. You don't have control of your thoughts, period. You DO have control over your behaviour. My head can scream really loud that I should eat the chocolate cookie. However I know that is not what I WANT so I choose the carrot despite my brain screaming loudly that the cookie tastes really good and the carrot is awful. You can have one hundred thoughts about why you shouldn't be with your husband or why you might not be in love with him, etc. Who cares! What do YOU WANT? What do YOU value? If my suspicion is right, your obsession is just like the rest of our obsessions - we feel guilty for not "thinking" and "feeling" the way "normal people" do. You gotta thank media for that. People who don't love their spouses don't ruminate about it on OCD forums. They go and continually DO actions that show that they don't love their spouses and they don't have any struggles with it.
aholcomb17aholcomb17
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Girl I feel you
aholcomb17aholcomb17
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sometimes I’ll get thoughts like “do I wanna love him tho” “do I wanna fight this” any thoughts on this @fernandoV
DDJDDJ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well I feel guilt now because I am going out with one of my gfs tonight to do karaoke and I feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to get out and get away :(
DDJDDJ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I haven't seen her in months, shebworks a whole lot. My husband has been working nights and doubles so I barely see him and it makes it hard too
Related posts
patheticgirl43
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Can ocd do this
Im feeling really depressed and like i dont care about anything, and suddenly ive lost all desire for a relationship or being with anyone. I just dont care about anything right now but its kind of freaking me out.
Ellie.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I’m begging ANYONE help I can’t take it anymore!!
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
anxiousashhh
- Date posted
- 8w ago
idk
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
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