- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Dear friend, here's a thought. Take it or leave it. Whatever you prefer. Love is not a feeling, love is action. Love is not feeling bas the poor starving children but actually feeding them. Love is not being sad about an old person who needs to cross the street but actually helping them cross it. Your husband does not have a love-metronome by wich he measures the volume of love-feelings you have for him. He loves you by your actions, your kind gestures, your tender behaviour. If are going to let OCD stop you from doing those behaviors until you can feel them, then I am sorry to tell you this but then your husband might actually start feeling unloved. --- Back when I had severe OCD I didn't want to leave my house until I was 100% reassured that I was incapable of harming my daughter whom I love like nothing else on earth. When I realized where that was going to lead me, I realized that the most loving thing I could do for her was to go to work even in the midsts of panic to make money so that she could keep on living and enjoying her beautiful life. What bigger expression of love than to feel that you are about to die and still pick up yourself and go and DO loving things.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ocd will always put thoughts in ur head and make u feel certain ways and then make u feel guilty for it. Ur allowed to have ur own life and allowed to have fun. All ur doing is having some alone time with friends and that’s normal and perfectly ok!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
From what I understand you feel the same as the original poster; that is, You WANT to love your husband again but You THINK whether or not you should. This is a clear example of cognition vs. behaviour. You don't have control of your thoughts, period. You DO have control over your behaviour. My head can scream really loud that I should eat the chocolate cookie. However I know that is not what I WANT so I choose the carrot despite my brain screaming loudly that the cookie tastes really good and the carrot is awful. You can have one hundred thoughts about why you shouldn't be with your husband or why you might not be in love with him, etc. Who cares! What do YOU WANT? What do YOU value? If my suspicion is right, your obsession is just like the rest of our obsessions - we feel guilty for not "thinking" and "feeling" the way "normal people" do. You gotta thank media for that. People who don't love their spouses don't ruminate about it on OCD forums. They go and continually DO actions that show that they don't love their spouses and they don't have any struggles with it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Girl I feel you
- Date posted
- 6y
Sometimes I’ll get thoughts like “do I wanna love him tho” “do I wanna fight this” any thoughts on this @fernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
Well I feel guilt now because I am going out with one of my gfs tonight to do karaoke and I feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to get out and get away :(
- Date posted
- 6y
I haven't seen her in months, shebworks a whole lot. My husband has been working nights and doubles so I barely see him and it makes it hard too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
- Date posted
- 20w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
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