Rude Awakening

Have you all realized in some point of your life how much your OCD has really held you back? I just had the roughest wake-up call when I realized how lonely I really am because of my OCD (no one wants to be my friend because I overreact to everything) and I’ve never really matured in any way. I’m 33 years old and I’m still as conflicted as I was as a 12 year old. I feel like I’ve made zero progress in my life, as I take one step forward, but I regress every goddamn time. For example, I’m still without a driver’s license because my OCD gets in the way every time and I get a panic attack. I just got the “you need to wake up” call from my family. I’m just very disappointed in myself and even jealous of how other people can just get better by just going to therapy. Is OCD really this persistent?

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

By agenda I mean that I’m not there anymore to do favors for them. That I was the “brain” of the group, as I seemed to be academically gifted and answered all the homework questions. But now that I’m gone, I am no longer useful. I was just a machine.

Username: zalezale

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm 37 and have been feeling the same way recently. OCD has held me back from so many things in my life and I worry that I've had it for so long that I won't do well in therapy or won't be able to change thought patterns I've had for as long as I can remember. I get the jealousy thing too, and I feel kind of depressed and resentful that I only just found out about OCD-specific therapy this year instead of like 10 years ago before it got this bad.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@zale Yeah, it does feel like it’s a lifelong battle. I was getting better, but just the very smallest deviations can cause the most significant damage. It’s like a chaotic dynamical system, yeah like chaos theory in Jurassic Park. A subject I actually do know 😂😂

Username: Mowgli Mowgli

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve had ocd since I was around the age of 7, I’m now 50, I only got a diagnosis last Xmas just gone. It has completely shaped my whole life. Destroyed friendships, careers, romance, etc etc. but I also think it’s never too late to find peace and happiness. I think someone in recovery from ocd has a fuller, more satisfying life than average. I think the stuff we have to do to recover (erp, living in the present) is so crucial that it motivates up to move foward more than average

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s truly sad and pathetic if you ask me. Just keep disappointing people one after another.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Josean To add context, let’s just say I made vast improvement last year. I was even put in the OCD alumni program because I was doing well. But significant life changes (just graduated last December 2022) messed up all the progress I made. Because of the uncertainty I’m feeling now, and that in top of it, my “friends” who were there last year aren’t there for me anymore. I was discarded like a worn out chewing toy because I no longer served their agendas.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

And by small, I mean infinitesimal changes to initial data.

Username: Dee88Dee88

Date posted: 1y ago

I think ocd has also held me back a little too. But remember that these things can feel so much worse when we are in the thick of ocd. Try and be a little more compassionate with yourself. You’re doing the best you can while dealing with something really difficult- what would you say to a friend who was going through something similar. From an outside perspective you have nothing to be disappointed in yourself about- you should feel proud for dealing with something so difficult. And things can (and will) get better ❤️

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Feeling Alone And Tired

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.

Username: MyLifeIsOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD 24/7 for years

For 13 years, OCD is not just a part of my life; OCD IS my life. I cant work, Im having intrusions all day, anxiety all day, afraid of my own mind, it even caused me chronic fatigue syndrom because I did only sleep a couple of hours for years because of the compulsions I did on repeat every awake hour of every single day, no pause, not even for 5 minutes. Ive had a couple of months where it was better, like I was able to live life a little more and not being tortured 24/7. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one with OCD for so long and the only one on whom OCD has such a big impact... 😔

Username: toomuch

Date posted: 1y ago

Time and OCD

Do you ever get depressed over how long you’ve been dealing with OCD? I’ve been dealing with it for over two years now. I mourn what my life could have been like if that one thought hadn’t popped into my mind. Makes you feel like life is going to be like this forever. In those moments, what makes you have hope or a feeling that things are gonna get better?

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Rude Awakening

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