It’s like I’m in constant pain

I fell in love with a guy I was in a situationship with, he lied to my face over and over again, then left me for his female best friend. I unfollowed him but forgot I followed his private account. Now when we were seeing each other he never used this account, now all of a sudden he’s liking my posts and posting on there all the time. I’ve just seen a post and he’s with her still, I’m not completely over the situation and still have some feeling for him even though I don’t want them. I still wish one day I could tell him how much he hurt me, I want to message and say like I hope you know how much you’ve hurt me. It’s annoying because she looks similar to me so it makes me think I’m just the second choice out of me and me. He keeps popping back up into me life and I don’t know what to do about it. I want him to see how good my life is without him, but if anything I’m depressed and anxious. He’s out having the best time of his life and I’m here, no boy, nobody wanting me. I feel so sad because it was the first time I felt love and it’s sitting on my brain so much all the time in fact. I just want to cry

NODA💕

Date posted: 2y

Hi. Remember. A man who loves you, does not treat you this way. Do you respect yourself? If you do, block him (there is the option on every social media you know), do not read his posts, do not dwell on what he did to you or what or how he is doing. He is not worth it. Don't let him torture you even now when he had exited your relationship. And don't judge all other man by him. Only if you are still in love with him and deep down wish or hope that at he might come back to you, the pain you are suffering now would somehow be understandable. On the other hand it would be self destroying. He is narcissistic. He enjoys being admired. He doesn't think for a second how you must feel. He is playing with your emotions. He is doing it on purpose. He wants you to think of him, to long for him,... THAT IS NOT LOVE!!! Mark my words, what he did to you, he will sooner or later do to his new girlfriend. Best friends or not-doesn't make any difference, not to a narcissistic inconsiderate disrespectful person like him. Love yourself enough to stop ruminating about what was, why it happened and how could he have...., why does he....,. If you honestly don't love him anymore and fully understand that he is not good for you, you know it's not your fault, it's only his.. Focus on your well-being, on managing ocd, on you, so you will be at your best when true love knocks on your door. Whenever a thought of him appears in your head, don't get upset. Just say, hmm, oh that idiot. His loss. And smile and go on with your life. You wish a better life, a better love? Get him out of your heart and your head. Biiiig hug. Sorry if I was to harsh. I feel your pain, but I don't want you to feel it anymore. 🤗🌞👍😊

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@NODA Thank you so much this was honestly exactly what I needed to hear! No no it was not too harsh, sometimes you need to hear these things to realise them and it may sound harsh, but it’s needed! You’re an amazing person and you’ve made me realise so much and how much effect I’m letting him have when you’re right, he’s a narcissist, a manipulative idiot who doesn’t deserve to still be taking over my brain! I’m going to do everything you said, I’m going to make sure I better myself because I’m sick of living in this mess that’s been created! Thank you so so so much, I hope you’re having a brilliant day, and if you ever need anything you know where to find me! Thank you again! 💓

paula109

Date posted: 2y

Hi, it's completely normal that you have feelings for this person, as he is still trying to enter into your life. At the end, these kind of people are perfect manipulators, and they need your attention. The best thing is to maintain 0 contact, although it can be hard at the begging, some day you won't even think of it. You don't deserve someone who lies to you!

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@paula109 The thing it’s it’s been months and I still find myself thinking about it. I’ve had no contact with him since September, so him suddenly popping back up liking my instagrams has put my straight back down. You are right though he knows what he’s doing, keeping me strung along until he needs me but I can’t have that anymore. It hurts too much and it’s so harmful on my brain. All I do is think about it and want to cry!

paula109

Date posted: 2y

@godihatemondays There is not an exact time to forget someone. In the past, I used to date a boy who also cheated on me, and although I tried to not talk to him for 6 months, someday he appeared and everything

paula109

Date posted: 2y

@paula109 emerged again. But don't let your feelings rule you. You have the whole control to close that door to him ❤️

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@paula109 I’m trying so hard not to, I haven’t cried which is really new for me! That’s a massive deal for me with this situation. I’m just gutted because he was the first guy I found I let in, he ruined it. Ruined me. I lost so much after him, I lost family, I lost my mental state, my entire personality changed because of him. I’m still trying to find myself, and he’s ruining it!

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@paula109 But also thank you, you’re advice has really made me feel less alone and like I can do this! I need to do this

paula109

Date posted: 2y

@godihatemondays There are going to be people who try to take all away from you, but you have not lost yourself, this will make you stronger and you will meet nice people out there, I swear to you!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

I’m so sorry about the pain you are going through. That sounds so hard.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Thank you, it’s not great but I am doing much better and I’m getting him out of my head and my life!

JesusLovesYou13

Date posted: 20w

Heart broken: my ex bsf started dating my ex bf

My ex best friend started dating my ex boyfriend. And me and the boy are in the same church so this is awkward. My heart is broken, not because he’s with someone else but the fact that it’s with her. I look back at every moment the three of us spent together and just wondering if they liked each other when me and him were together. I’ve lost all self respect, I keep stalking them on social media and I’m so mad at myself because I know that I’m letting them hurt me more but I can’t help it. I also still have my ex bsf location and I checked it today and saw that she was at my ex bf’s little brother’s baseball game, this hurt because me and him used to do that together, also me and his family are still close because of church so I have a soft spot in my heart for his little brother. I just feel like my whole world is upside down, I’m so confused. I’m trying so hard not to resent them, I try and remind myself that they are still God’s children. But I still find myself full of bitterness. I’ve been processing everything for about a month and I have tried tons of things to heal: put all of the items he gave me in a box, go to a rage room, visit the temple, journal, pray. Each of these things have helped a ton, but I still have a lot of pain. I know that this is all part of God’s plan but it’s still painful, I just need to remember that this pain is temporary and will help me grow as a person. I just wanted to share this and maybe get some advice on how to heal from a broken heart. I know this isn’t really OCD related but I just really needed to share this.

JayKing030

Date posted: 14w

Over analyzing

I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.

ismap1

Date posted: 8w

Relationship

my name is isma, i am 19 in nyc. i met this amazing guy at the beginning of the year, we hit it off immediately and he really stood out to me. i recently broke up with him because i feel like if id put him thru a lot if he’d stay with me. i recently came out to my parents and it wasn’t voluntary. i was caught with him and then had to reveal that i was gay. my parents didn’t take it too well. i felt uncomfortable and a little scared to be at home for some days. that settled in a week and both my parents told me they were acceptant but in the end it just felt to me like if they accepted me but they just didn’t wanna know about it anymore in a sense of just avoiding touching on the topic. now me and my boyfriend, i was going thru a lot and he gave me all his attention and was there for me whenever i had to vent or just cry because of everything going on. it’s crazy to think that at 19 years old id be coming out to my parents when at the start of the year, i never thought that’d be something id end up doing. ive never been open about my emotions or a “soft” person because i was never able to be myself at home and with my parents. sometimes i can’t even hug anyone. i find it hard to speak to strangers that r not my friends. i’m very picky when it comes to making friends. i feel like my thoughts are all over the place and im very indecisive. i miss my boyfriend and i wanna go back with him but im scared that ill ruin things again. before him, i was stuck in hookup culture and thought that by hooking up w a guy i was interested in, he’d wanna stay with me and get to know me. i was used many times and ive also used people many times. i’ve been done dirty and ive done people dirty, i dont think of myself as a good person but i felt loved and deeply cared for by this guy. he lives in nj and i live in ny. sometimes he’d even surprise me at work and i cried the first time he did. i felt so special and in awe because i would’ve never thought i could get so emotional over a small gesture. to me it wasn’t a small gesture. it was everything because he came from all the way in nj to ny just to see me for a couple of minutes. i hate the way that i am. i am unconfident, i think i am so ugly, sometimes i question how he found me attractive to date. i overthink everything, i cried one time imagining him coming to see me in ny then having to go home so late back to nj, i dont think im worth it and i felt like i didn’t deserve that and maybe it’d be better if he found someone near him. i also compared myself a lot with him. he’s such a kind spirited person, he’s always smiling and i on the other hand get told i look sad or anxious. i am i pretty negative person and that just adds on to me being an overthinker. i always thought someone as happy as him deserves another happy person and not someone who gets mad or agitated easily. i wish i can be more for him, i do miss him a lot and i plan on talking with him again. i just wanna talk everything out, even if we don’t date for sometime, i wanna be around him and know we’re gonna get back there again someday. he’s the best person that’s came to my life, i know ppl may say to let it go and see it as a learning experience but i don’t wanna move on if it’s not me moving on by his side. i really do wanna be with him i just wanna get my head clear. i don’t know what to do, im stuck

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