I’m terrified that I’m treatment resistant and I’m never going to get better. It’s causing me so much anxiety I’m actually throwing up it’s that bad! I’m trying to stop ruminating about it but I feel like I physically can’t stop it 😭
I know what you mean. I had my worst breakdown a few years ago, due to untreated ocd. The crisis team put me on heavy meds, still coming off one of them slowly. I’ve been unemployable since the breakdown, I was successful in my last career. I often feel I’m never gonna feel ok again, and it’s really hard not to seek reassurance from family. Only thing in my power is to be kind to myself and take care of myself with diet and exersise, then the rest is “maybe I will, maybe I won’t get better, but I’ll live as well as I can today”
It’s the doubting disease, hardly shocking you would think/feel this way at all. I know it’s terrifying, but look up. You are taking the necessary steps, you’ll get there. Even if it takes a really long time.
With multiple different treatment options, medicine, and well versed professionals in this field, I hardly believe you are “treatment resistant”. More than likely you are suffering a panic of OCD where your brain is making you spiral upon the worst case scenario. Start/continue treatment and put your all into it, trust the process.
@InvaderX Yeah it’s trying to tell me my life is ruined and I’ll never get better
@Ellsx Think about it like this your thoughts are thee best OCD sales man/women — they can sell or tell you anything with the best pitch/storyline and bait your brain into buying in. Hardest part is the feelings associated with it cause they are just what makes it more believable. Easier said than done but don’t buy in. Challenge yourself, manifest the belief that you are not treatment resistant and meditate powerful and positive affirmations and work as hard as you can while telling yourself this is my life and I’m going to dismantle this cycle and live freely.
Are you in treatment right now? I also have this fear
@Mia Mia Yeah been in treatment since January
@Ellsx Erp treatment with someone who specializes in OCD? If yes, ask them if you’ve made progress- sometimes ocd tells you are failing even when you are moving forward. If you both think you haven’t made progress there are higher level treatments - 1/2 day, full day and residential - I’ve been through them and they got me from out of control to doing well. (I’ve had a relapse on my core ocd since the whole pandemic stay at home nightmare and big life stressors since but still no where near as bad as I was). There is hope for you too.
@Ellsx Im in the same boat! I’ve been in treatment since February…
@Erin P Yes through this app! She said I’ve worked through so many of my themes that the only thing that it’s holding onto is my core fear. But the OCD in convincing me that I’m going to be stuck like this forever 😢 I’ve probably worked through 2 or 3 themes in the past couple of months tbh!
@Ellsx Sounds like you have made incredible progress. The core fear is the hardest. I’m having to do things on my own (long story) but I’m making progress on my core fear anyway. You can do it - your therapist will help you - baby steps if needed as long as you are moving forward.
This is very common. Please ask yourself what getting better means. What do you fear from getting better?
My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.
I feel horrible! My anxiety over my obsessive thoughts is 10/10 right now and no matter what I try, I cannot seem to relax my body and mind. I had my 2nd therapy apt this morning. I watched a support group this evening, took a walk, did a 20 minute Prgressive muscle relaxation video, sat in the hottub, nothing is making my thoughts less intense. My stomach has been in knots for days and it’s only been getting worse. I have been trying to accept my anxiety and reason and let my thoughts stay all day they still have me super wound up.
I have been stuck for 2 months now. I have so much consuming anxiety all day everyday. I can’t take these thoughts and feelings. I took leave at work because I couldn’t even function there. Everyday I wake up in the same nightmare. I tried therapy last month and felt like we got no where. My family is just fed up with me and keeps saying I’m not trying to help myself. It’s feels like this is never going to end. I feel paralyzed, if I’m not doing a compulsion it feels like my thoughts might happen. I wish there was somewhere I could go right now to get the help I need. Ocd is so hard and idk how to stop this endless loop. Now that I’m not working I’m home all day everyday. I’ve reached out to Rogers for residential treatment, waiting for a response. Can anyone relate to feeling this way. It’s 24/7 for me and I’m so terrified my life will be like this forever….
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