Let's start a conversation!

Oh boy! I hear that. It's ridiculous. Just go hang out with your friends! Watch that mildly uncomfortable tv show! Dont give your OCD the time of day!

Definitely don't do that if you have no memory of it.

@OCDliestoyou It’s heavily mixed up. I know I watched porn, but I don’t think any content pulled up was underage. I’m so scared. I don’t want to kill myself but my brain is saying if there is any slight chance that’s what I deserve

@Anonymous I mean with porn it's never 100% guaranteed.

@Anonymous I'm sure you're fine

@OCDliestoyou It’s the intent that matters and I can’t remember what my intent was 15 years ago at age 19 or 21 I’m not sure. I know I watched porn. Not sure if I typed in an illegal search as much as that scares me.

@Anonymous Maybe you did maybe you didn’t ? The fact that this makes you so anxious signifies to me that it’s very likely it’s the latter but OCD won’t be able to feed off of the uncertainty

@Anonymous Idk I think you are probably fine. Especially if you used one of the big sites.

@OCDliestoyou I think I typed into a google search “teens having sex with other teens” on google, but may have been a teen or close to at the time and was looking for 18 ( legal age). Mind you it was like 15 years ago and I didn’t actually watch any videos and everything I saw indicated “legal age” which I would even look at teens of any kind because I’m now much much older and just have no interest. I care about protecting children so much.

@Anonymous *wouldn’t look at 18 yr olds now as I’m much older I mean and have no interest

@Anonymous If what you’re worrying about was really 15 years ago I think it’s definitely ok to let go of it. Obviously you might not be able to because OCD but I really hope you can give yourself permission to move forward. It was so long ago that it makes sense that you can’t remember perfectly and like Ellsx said if you’re this worried about it now I don’t think you would have had that intent then.

@Emma_OCjustdon’t Ty I know I’m reassurance seeking it’s just the idea of talking to my therapist about it scares me. I know they are mandated to report. I’m a mandated reporter myself. I went into my line of work to help people. I don’t want anyone hurt or abused. It’s my core value

@Anonymous It’s like you just said yourself you would never search for something like that now and you care so much about protecting children. That is what matters ❤️

@Emma_OCjustdon’t And sorry I know that’s major reassurance but sometimes we need that. We’re fighting the good fight so much of the time but we’re human just like everyone else and we deserve to be soothed sometimes.

@Emma_OCjustdon’t I think so. It’s hard to know when reassurance is ever okay. I miss my old self. I want to do ERP with my therapist about it, but not get myself into a world of trouble. My mom isn’t doing good and she needs me

@Anonymous I’m sorry to hear that. I hope she gets better 🤞❤️

@Emma_OCjustdon’t I can definitely relate to what you said about missing your old self

@Emma_OCjustdon’t My dad died 7 months ago and she’s getting older. She’s handicap. Ty I just have a lot of responsibility and I feel unworthy of them

@Jojo💕 “What in the Harry Potter is my brain on” 😂 lmao

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. But there's no point in feeling bad about it! Your ex may have something, or they may not! And that's okay! It's not your problem to fix that.

@OCDliestoyou Roughly a month of distress and I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I think about is compulsing and calling my ex

@Anonymous I mean the best thing to do as common courtesy would be to let them know so they can at least get tested.

@OCDliestoyou It’s not a sexually transmitted infection and the doctor said there was no reason to. That’s where ocd is hard because it’s hard to believe the doctor

@Anonymous Oh I see. In that case, don't.

@Anonymous But I know how hard it is to believe others and even yourself. OCD sucks

@Anonymous I just want to commend you. If you’ve been wanting to call your ex for a month and you’ve resisted all this time that’s amazing!

@Emma_OCjustdon’t I could use some reassurance, this seems so weighty

@Anonymous Well I know I’m not supposed to but honestly I love to reassure people lol

@Emma_OCjustdon’t I think if the doctor said there’s no reason to call them then you should try to trust that. The doctor has no reason to lie to you and they’re a doctor so it’s there job and goal to keep people healthy.