I think I’m spiraling and hitting a low point. I started ERP a few days ago. Now that I’m finally in therapy, all I think about is how i won’t be able to do it or it’s not going to work and I feel like I’ll never get better and I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life and be miserable forever.
I feel the same. I just started with a new therapist at NOCD a few weeks ago, and I worry that this is not going to help me get better because so many things have not helped me before. I've been living with OCD for so long, it feels like my identity, and I worry that I will always be like this. I guess we just need to trust the process, stick with the therapy, and stay committed to working toward a better quality of life. I hope it helps you to know you're not alone.
@KristinD I felt same starting with a new therapist. At first I wondered if it would help. I’ve done other treatments for OCD. Lots of different meds.
@Matthew L. I just hope and pray that something works. Do you feel like the ERP therapy has been helpful?
@KristinD Hard to tell, but I think I do things differently, now. It’s helped a bit, but some triggers seem to stick with me. I hope it works for you.
@Matthew L. Thank you, Matthew. I hope things continue to improve for you, too.
I can relate. In the middle of an obsession or compulsion, it feels so real and bleak... You can do it, I believe in you! Small steps everyday. In fact you can transform what you shares into an erp script to face your fear that things will never get better.
@Mochelle I’ve felt like ERP wouldn’t work for me. I’ve gotten better with certain things, less worrying. Doing ERP for months, guess I might’ve gotten something from it, or my medication.
I'm 67 and have had OCD nearly all my life. I receive very little relief from traditional therapies until I began ERP therapy with my certified OCD therapist about 18 months ago. It's hard at first because it's a process, but please consider me an example. I am well into recovery and now have the tools to deal with OCD flare ups when needed. My life is a thousand times better now than it was before I began ERP therapy. Stick with it. You're definitely on the right track!
@Steven55! I’m 44, had OCD since 15. I’ve gone to doctors and therapists. Been on meds. I’ve tried ERP, found it difficult, some things more than others. I guess I’ve improved, ERP & med changes.
I agree with Solaris. Keep in mind that it takes time and OCD will do whatever it can to scuttle ERP therapy. Just keep doing it and you'll eventually get better.
Apparently its a classic ocd trick. Ocd knows that you're taking your power back and practicing erp. It knows you're going to get better and be happy. So what it tries to do is drag you back into doing compulsions and creating scenarios. Because its losing its grasp on you. You are on the right track, you just have to keep going
It's too much for me right now, and I'm really struggling. Like really bad. Right now, um going to just focus on letting thoughts go, like... IDK MINI ERP? I'm going to try not to analyze them. It's too much for me, trying to figure out what's a compulsion, what's ocd, what's not... I've gotten worse, I is thinking. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or something, and I have a therapist on NOCD and stuff, but it's just not working. Not now, at least
My biggest obsession at the moment is that I am not going to get better, or, am I going to get better. My therapist is making me say a script to myself about not get better and never being well again, losing my family and suffering for the rest of my life. I am so scared I am doing it wrong. I don't stop worrying about getting better all day long, it goes round and round in my head. I am full of anxiety and pain. I am apparently supposed to really believe that I might not ever get better...but I can't MAKE myself believe that. I still hope to get better....is that wrong? Is that not doing erp right. What if I can't get the erp done correctly??? I feel like my therapist and I are just going round in circles as I am not grasping it properly
This is my first time in ocd specific therapy, even though I’ve been struggling with it since I was a kid and I just feel like there’s no hope and I won’t be able to tolerate the distress of ERP. My OCD is so wide ranging and convoluted I can’t imagine being able to untangle it and actually make progress. It’s making me miserable and has me trapped in my thoughts but I don’t even know how to verbalize some parts of what I’m experiencing. I’m just checking, reviewing and over analyzing everything in my life constantly. My brain feels like it’s on fire and it takes me days to recover from OCD induced breakdowns. I don’t know if I have it in me to work through this :(
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