Feeling trigerred and bad. Something happened that i think confirms my obsession. Just feeling really bad not even anxious which is probably another proof that the obsession is true. Just want to cry
A lot of times happens where I just feel bad but not anxious. I'm experiencing the same thing right now, I'm probably going to make a post about it later. I'm not anxious but I feel dirty after I saw a triggering thing and my mind associated it with bad things. It's okay to cry, I'll cry with you because I feel miserable too. But once we are done crying let's move on and sit with the distress. It's okay to rest for a bit during the trail, but then we keep going through hell because we are strong and brave and sooner or later we'll start seeing the first rays of the sun. you're not alone. stay strong ❤️🩹
I just keep thinking of what i should do if the obsession really is true. I just feel like i have no possible escape. I dont want to go into details because you'll probably tell me my thoughts are true but this is just horrible. The distress is unbearable
@Solaris I have pocd. I have the worst images possible every single day. I feel like a monster. Trust me, I know how are you feeling. But I know deep down that I'm not a monster and that it is my brain that makes me feel like one. I'm not my brain. You're not your brain. We are not our thoughts. Just like we are not our heart, our lungs, our liver ... we are not our brain. We are something more, and you're more than that obsession that keeps you making you feel that way. You're you, you are who you decide to be, nobody can't take that choice from you, not even ocd. Also, if telling me what is it that is distressing you can make you better I'll be happy tol listen, without judgement
@Nameless000 I dont really what to tell my thoughts/what happened because you'll probably say my obsession is real:( i just feel like i cant do this anymore, this is the worst obsession ive ever had, worse than pocd or anything else ive had before. I just cant take the pain its too horrible..if its true then idk what I'll do
@Nameless000 I also feel like maybe im in denial or something
@Solaris bad people don't worry about doing bad things. you can't control your mind, it's not your fault. sometimes we forget that. we don't have control over these things and so we often feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. You, me didn't choose this. You don't have to tell me but I could never say that your obsession is real because it isn't, I don't have to know the details, there is a reason that you are feeling so distressed and worried. You know what's real? You. You are real, you are true, you're kind and good hearted but that side of you has been overshadowed by the bad lies that ocd tells you making you believe things that aren't true. Your obsession is not real and not the truth. I wish I could be more of help though, cuz words are just words... to actually overcome this alone by yourself is a hard challenge... is it something that I could do to make you feel calm?
@Nameless000 The obsession is actually about my mother, and its like really horrible which is why i dont really want to go in detail :( i just feel so distressed
@Solaris that must be tough. I had intrusive thoughts about my mother too and i felt as if ocd ruined by only network of support. I'm very sad that you're going through this. I'll tell you something that happened to me. So I had this crush on a girl two years older than me. One day I discovered that she had a little brother and I thought to myself "it would be unforgivable if i had gross intrusive thoughts about her brother" guess what happened? I felt the worst person on earth. i skipped lunch for 4 days. I thought that this would never pass and that it was the worst thing that could happen but somehow I'm still here and that thing doesn't bother me anymore (i have other things now to distress about haha). Fun fact: my friend smashed this girl that I liked hahaha problem solved right? I realised that I didn't choose to have those thoughts and that ocd choose to target the people I cared about to drop me at the lowest point, to deal to me the most damage possible. If I were to guess, this is similar to what you are going through right? There's hope that thing will quiet down Solaris. I promise. Don't lose hope. And even if you do hope will return to you because you deserve at least that much for how much you're suffering. I regained hope after I lost it and I've recently adopted a new mindset going through my ocd journey after all the things that happened to me and I'm starting to feel okay. You will to.
@Nameless000 i shouldn't have written that part of my friend stealing my crush, i still havent recovered 🤣
@Nameless000 I also did something really bad today and im feeling really guilty. I dont know if i will ever get better i am feeling so low. And on top of that someone in another ocd server said that their thoughts are true and they have proof and stuff.
It will pass, I promise. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but eventually it will. I know that tomorrow or the day after I'm going to feel okay even though I'm not right now. We've already been through this thing over and over and we managed to survive, so let's keep doing that.
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
I’ve been triggered so bad this week I’ve had bad anxiety and feel depression coming on. Last night I had a thought oh let’s plan it and I immediately thought why would I think that and started crying bad. I’ve had these thoughts for 7 months I really don’t know why I’m having these thoughts, if I knew I would work on it. Like people say has something happened in your life for you to have these thoughts and nothing has happened, it all started off from what if thoughts , like “what if I’m a psycho” because I saw this fb post saying introverts are more likely to become psychopaths and it all spiralled from there I started getting thoughts about harm towards others and myself. What do you think guys should I treat it like ocd or do you think there’s something seriously wrong with me.
The things my brain convinces me of are so horrible idk how im going to get through this this time. I feel like I tell my self all the obsessions this episode u don’t even know or you definitely didn’t do but then I just start ruminating on simply the idea of them existing for me to worry abt being enough to keep me in the episode and I can’t even remember them all which doesn’t make sense how I would just forget but ocd makes it make sense yk. Sometimes they feel so real and there is nothing I can do to know and I just want to be happy so bad ik my core values and how I actually feel but it’s just a dark lonely terrifying cloud raining on me all day and night long.
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