How do you deal with the urge to confess?

Feeling guilty about exaggerating. I have a strong urge to confess and "punish" myself. I currently struggle with TMJD, and I'm pretty sure it's interfering with my sleep at night. I know I need to get the TMJD treated and am in the process of doing that. Sometimes my jaw will lock up at night. And sometimes I'll have spasms and a little bit of pain. My jaw is also pulled to the left. I told my mom that the spasms were really bad, and the pain was really bad too, which might have been an exaggeration, but regardless, I know the TMJD is affecting me at night. My OCD is telling me since I exaggerated, that I need to put soap in my CPAP machine at night. It doesn't make any sense and I'm trying to figure out how to get past this. I'm trying to rationale why confessing wouldn't be helpful. It doesn't make sense, but it's really bothering me. Any tips/recommendations to help me rationalize so I can get past this? I think if I did confess to my mom that I exaggerated about the pain/spasms, she would be mad at me & maybe wouldn't help with further TMJD treatment.

hayledollarbean

Date posted: 2y

I struggle with feeling like I need to confess all of the time too. Accuracy is really important to me, so if I say something and later learn that I was incorrect, I feel like I need to immediately go back and confess to the person I said it to. I try to pause and ask myself if the thing I said will significantly affect anyone else. For example, if I said something that might impact someone else’s reputation and it turns out it wasn’t true, I do think it is worth going back and correcting myself for the sake of the other person. But if what I said doesn’t affect anyone else, I know it is my OCD that is making me feel guilty and like I need to confess. In either scenario, it is hard to not want to punish myself for it in some way. But I know that the punishment won’t change what happened, and it usually just makes me feel even more guilty for doing something harmful to myself. Then I feel like I need to confess that to someone too, and the cycle keeps going. It can be helpful to sort of play the movie out in my head and look beyond the short-term relief that I would get from confessing and/or punishing myself.

RebeccaG

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Maybe she would. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe you did exaggerate. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe, maybe, maybe…. The doom spiral of OCD. ☹️ I get stuck there too (honestly, just a few minutes ago)… It’s okay to give yourself some grace. You can choose to try and punish yourself, but OCD will just try and make you feel terrible about something else later. You could also choose to embrace the uncertainty of the situation and let yourself live and make mistakes (peacefully) over and over again. I might be wrong, but it seems like your drive to “confess/punish” might be a compulsion you do to try and feel calm again in your brain or to try and feel “okay” in some other way. You COULD “confess” if you want/decide to, but from personal experience, it won’t really do much- especially if you weren’t certain it was something you needed to “confess” in the first place. You can give yourself permission to “be a bad person” and exaggerate your pain. OCD is a doubting disease and is always trying to get us to not trust ourselves. It doesn’t listen to logic. It will always take and take and take from us. The way we win is to stop engaging in the fight/to stop being afraid of whatever is behind the obsessions/compulsions. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the TMJD and OCD at the same time. Remember that adding additional pain won’t make it better though… control is an illusion. Certainty is an illusion. Do with that what you wish. 🙃 you’re okay 🫶🏻

canigetawitness

Date posted: 2y

Thank you for this. It's helpful to know that I can allow myself some grace, even though I really did exaggerate my pain/spasms, which I feel awful for doing. I guess I exaggerated because I didn't feel like I was being heard about my TMJD. I'll try to not punish myself for this, because it feels like that's what my OCD is trying to do.

canigetawitness

Date posted: 2y

I really did exaggerate my pain & I feel awful for doing it. I won't do it anymore. Do you think it's okay to just move forward from here without confessing?

RebeccaG

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@canigetawitness I think so, that that would be okay, but ultimately I think it’ll be best for you to decide what to do, even if it’s “not the right thing.” That way you are showing your OCD that it can’t bully you and you are also setting yourself free from feeling pressure or relief just bc I told you it was okay to do. I really hope that doesn’t sound harsh. I find myself seeking outside reassurance that I’m okay more than I’d like. Sometimes when I’m trying to decide if some course of action is bc I want to do it or if it’s coming from the OCD I’ll try and check in with myself. For example, do I feel anxiety or rushed about doing XYZ or is it a decision I could calmly choose for myself. My OCD is usually behind the rush/pushy need to act/say/do whatever… Idk, but I hope that helps some. You’ve got this. Even if/when it feels like you don’t. You CAN learn to trust yourself. 💖 You don’t have to be perfect (now or ever).

canigetawitness

Date posted: 2y

@RebeccaG Thanks. And I don't think you're being harsh. What you've said makes sense. I feel rushed to confess about my exaggeration, so I'm going to label it as OCD and try to move forward the best I can.

Lillo2000

Date posted: 22w

Confession compulsion

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 18w

OCD Guilt

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

KAW1007

Date posted: 16w

Confession Compulsions

Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.

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