Does anyone go through almost an anxiety attack when the person doesn’t text you? He got out an hour ago but hasn’t texted me and yes we’re new to seeing each other but I hate that my brain goes crazy. I have abandonment issues and also I think the worst if they’re ok or not. It almost makes me not want to date at all. Maybe I need to communicate this to my partner
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@🎨 system I feel like I’m going to push this person away by asking for things because of my disorder. He knows I struggle with anxiety and ocd. Makes me wanna leave him and I’ve told him he deserves better. I’m a pain in the ass. But I also need to learn to control my anxiety
I can tell when someone has read my text. It bugs the shit out of me when they leave me hanging.
@Ghostdog Yeah I feel you. I swear I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack but I have to learn to control and ease me brain. I just hate how intense my intrusive thoughts are. I tell him I’m scared my anxiety ocd will push him away but I know these thoughts mean nothing and I’m trying to fight this disorder
Instead of ruminating and doing compulsions over this—because you’re new to this relationship and he just got off work—you should instead look into ERP scripting article that Erin P suggests and is really helpful: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/
I struggle with this a lot too, I always assume the worst and get mad at my bf very easily if he doesn’t text back in too long. It’s very exhausting sometimes
@Anni23 Yes it is. How long have you been together? I just started seeing him and I feel like I’m already overwhelming him even though I never asked for anything. I just opened up to him and told him I struggle and he said he wants to help me
@Mooooni We’ve been together for almost 3 years and I struggled with this right from the beginning too. I always feel like he is somehow rejecting me or something completely irrational, just because he’s not texting me back right away. It doesn’t even make sense when I talk about it like that, but when I get upset in those moments I act so impulsively 🥲
@Anni23 Wow thank you for sharing. It’s lovely to hear that you’ve been together a good amount of time. I get it, it happens. I did that today and impulsively hit him up but was kind and sweet about it to help me communicate with him instead of being upset. Question, do you get intrusive thoughts too when you first started dating? My thoughts run wild about if I cheated or something. I never experienced this. I almost feel paranoid like visual false thoughts enter my mind so fast and then I panic for half a second. I hate it so much. But I’m learning how to do erp because I don’t want these thoughts
@Mooooni I think my intrusive thoughts probably started at around 7 months with him I would say. I suddenly wasn’t sure anymore if I wanted to be with him and felt insanely bad about finding others attractive. That’s when my Rocd really started for me and I’ve been struggling with that ever since (more or less)
@Anni23 Wow. We met almost 2 months ago but talked almost 3 and we’re getting pretty deep. He’s seen me vulnerable a couple times now.
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.
okay so i know that my boyfriend gets busy and i am usually checking my phone ALL THE TIME. like i am just that kind of person. but sometimes my boyfriend doesn’t reply to me for a bit and it makes me sad. he lags a lot, and it makes me mad when he doesn’t reply for a long time. we text and stuff but he doesn’t text me as much as he used to. and it stresses me out and i worry that it’s a red flag, or if it’s my OCD telling me to worry about it. i am the kind of person to say “actions speak louder than words “ and ive said that to him multiple times and he says he’s gonna work on things. it’s not like he doesn’t text me AT ALL, he texts me good morning everyday it’s just the lagging that makes me upset. so, is it my OCD telling me to worry about it or is it actually a concern?
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