- Date posted
- 2y
How do you deal with false memories
There are a few that makes me feel like actually happened.
There are a few that makes me feel like actually happened.
Mine feel so real too! To the point I want to throw up, and think I'll be locked away. Would you like a chat?
Accept the uncertainty and try and wait it out. When it’s happened to me it’s really scary, but once I give it time and my anxiety is reduced, I can think clearer and then I can usually tell.
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@Sazbaz27x Yes! Mine is harm theme and it's nearly killed me ill be honest. I just try and take comfort in knowing what kind of person I am 😢
@Sazbaz27x Yes I've had the two themes! Pocd made me so unwell. I'm so sorry you're going through it, I would love to talk! X
@Sazbaz27x Yes I am actually on the false memory support group on Facebook if you want to find me on there ? X
@Sazbaz27x I have been dealing with harm ocd and scrupulosity my whole life. But now it’s been pocd with false memories for 8months. I was doing medium ok for a couple of years, ignored all the thoughts pretty well but now it’s worse than ever before. Recently I got out of a 6 year long relationship and in that moment my ocd just started to kick my ass and I feel like I’m in hell.. Those memories feel so real and when I try to figure out what is real, I get even more confused and I feel like I can never be normal. Sorry I just needed to vent I feel like nobody understands me. Even tho it’s sad that you guys are going through similar things, I’m happy I’m not completely alone. Do you guys have medication? I live in finland and I did therapy here for 4 years which only made my ocd worse because he didn’t know about ocd enough.. even tho it was CBT. I was doing everything he told me to, even ERP’s that made me super uncofomfortable and It was super tiring. He basically told me that he can’t help me anymore because my thoughts are too complicated.. I was like thanks.. We don’t really have OCD specialists here in finland and everyone here thinks ocd is just about order and being clean. Even most of the psychologists and CBT therapists.. :) they don’t know anything about Pure O or mental compulsions etc.. so I’m just so frustrated… Sorry for oversharing lol
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
When false memories have popped up for you guys, did they feel real straight away like pop up like a memory but you’re still doubting whether they’re real?
Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD
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