religion

Oh, my friend, I feel for you, I truly do. All I can tell you is that, in my opinion, what appears to be going on is a classic case of OCD. Notice how many times you wrote "what if?" That's definitely OCD, which tries to make you doubt yourself, and just about everything else, for that matter. I am not qualified to get into a religious discussion with you, but there are very good, qualified OCD therapists at NOCD who are people of faith and can help you get through these flare ups, including scrupulosity and existential OCD. One in particular I would recommend (she was my therapist) is Judy Lair. Hope this helps.

You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. I have scrupulosity and it all sounds like OCD to me. Allow yourself to feel how you feel- God made us to be complex individuals with all the emotions. He’s also very gracious and loving and merciful. I would recommend seeking therapy for ERP from a faith based therapist that way you can move through both in a way that’s productive and helpful. Avoid googling things…

I understand the mixed feeling you are expressing. I am a Christian. I became a Christian when I was 18 when I came to believe in the Lord Jesus. It says in the Gospel of John chapter 1 verse 12 “But as many as received Him to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name”. When one comes to believe in the Lord Jesus God forgives them of the things they have done wrong (their sin). He then helps them to live a life to please Him. I am now 62. I’ve had OCD since my 20’s but it skyrocketed 2 years ago. Shame and guilt were at a very high level for me then. One day I realized that in past 40 years I was a Christian the shame and guilt weren’t that high. What I started doing was interpreting God through my OCD. That was my error. I realized I needed to let the Bible explain how God works and not my OCD. In the New Testament Romans 8:1 says “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” So my “feelings” were stealing the ship and not the Bible. I have actually learned to lean hard on the God who loves me when I struggle with OCD I don’t understand everything but I know He knows what’s best. I find reading the Bible helps it gives us the in sight on who God is and how He works. Staring with the Gospel of John could be a good place to start. Believe me I understand your struggle. I have shed tears and sweat from anxiety saying “No” to OCD. I know you can say “No” to OCD👍.

Amen! God loves you! The promises of God have been my life ring through my 40 plus year journey with OCD. OCD, like any sickness, comes from a broken world, not God. ERP Therapy really lead me to healing and truth of OCD.