fear of losing my senses

I have existential and hyperawareness ocd and i think they overlap and i have this irrational fear of losing my senses. I feel so helpless, i can’t sleep because i have questions like “where do i go when i sleep” and questions regarding my consciousness, when i’m not hyperaware, where are my thoughts, where am i when i’m immersed in an activity, it is so confusing and terrifying. The whole process of letting thoughts come and go has become scary because that’s exactly my fear, that i’m “letting go” of my senses? I’m scared of being hyperaware and not being hyperaware, i feel so hopeless, sad & anxious. where do i go? It’s so hard to see any escape. Life feels so meaningless. I had a horrific ocd spiral, im also dealing with dissociation so the fear of losing my sense is heightened during it. I’m so scared, does anybody have any words of hope?

anonymous314

Date posted: 2y

like when i’m not thinking about ocd and get involved in some task and I DO FORGET about it, my mind becomes aware of it again and i’m like “wait where did it go” and its like it just feels so weird, everything feels weird. i’m sorry i don’t know what to do

Simon

Date posted: 2y

My OCD is sort of similar, I relate to the constant barrage of anxiety, and the thoughts that seem impossible to escape, and the damned if I do or don’t fear. OCD likes to grab onto these concepts of being trapped forever with a particular theme, but it really is just OCD finding a way to scare you, and it doesn’t make your particular theme worse than another. I’ve been doing an hour of ERP everyday with a recorded loop of me saying my worst fears, which include ‘this might never end’. Go towards the fear, bully it back, and I promise your brain will start to change and this will eventually become irrelevant to you.

anonymous314

Date posted: 2y

@Simon does doing erp help with this? I don’t even understand what my core fear is. maybe just having a conscious? awareness of the conscious and ocd being latched to it :( is there a way we can talk outside of this app? pls? it would mean a lot

Simon

Date posted: 2y

@stutisharma05 Your core fear sounds like sensorimotor OCD, but about your awareness/consciousness. So it’s like a cross between sensorimotor and existential OCD. Ive had obsessions about my breathing, and being super panicked that I won’t be able to stop noticing it, and what if it stops, what if I forget how to breathe, etc. All I want is to let my breathing be automatic and not think about it. So the exposure for this would be to sit for x amount of time, purposefully focusing on my breathing without compulsing , analyzing, etc. For you, I would maybe try purposefully being aware of your consciousness, or write some kind of script about what might happen if you let go of your awareness. Only you know the core of the fear, and I would urge you to try and write it down and identify it in specificity. My sister had really distressing OCD about disassociation, and I know how scary that can be. She went on lexapro and it vanished. I’m also on lexapro and my ocd is still present but way more manageable . Let me know if this helps

anonymous314

Date posted: 2y

@Simon thank you so much it definitely helps a lot. I think my core fear is what u said as well as the process of cognition & how it works

anonymous314

Date posted: 1y

@Anoniem yes, it did. it really did i’m doing a lot better now <3

kbock4

Date posted: 1y

no one has put my feelings into words before, thank you for making me feel less alone

୨ৎ

Date posted: 20w

can ocd make you question your mental health?

i have been diagnosed with OCD & generalized anxiety disorder. for some reason, i’ve been very hyper aware of everything. like the way i talk, the way i see the world, how certain things sound/look/feel, and it’s very distressing. i feel like the hyper awareness makes me afraid of things? like for some reason, my mind attached to cartoons, and i was hyperfocusing on it, and got extremely scared, like scared of the cartoon for no reason? i’ve done this a lot, and i get scared i have psychosis or schizophrenia, or something that makes you afraid of things for no unknown reason. i feel so scared that this is my new normal…. im heartbroken. so many what if’s. did i just ruin my own life?? 💔

AnnFon

Date posted: 19w

Existential/Anxiety OCD

This is my first post, so I apologize if the formatting is weird. I experience existential ocd I always struggled as a kid but learned more and more how to manage with school and such forcing me to learn how, now I experience a lot of overwhelming intrusions from when I wake up to when I go to bed (simply because I live and work in the same place it gets cabin feverish) but now more often going out maybe it’s just paranoia, I walk into a place and each person comes with a story immediately, every piece of trash on the floor, every piece of produce, each isle is a brand new way I could get into a life altering situation. I’ve managed well enough but sometimes I just completely lose my original objective and just leave or I’ll wanna leave my house but everything that goes with it and that could happen pops up and I just won’t go. It’s started to become avoidant behavior. Any help or similar stories? I just feel like I’m going crazy but my thoughts are so scattered and immediate it’s hard to break the habit and not spin a story. Thank yall!

May :)

Date posted: 15w

Hyperawareness of My Body

Hey there everyone, first I would like to say I am very grateful for every single one of you on this platform and it feels so much better knowing that I can be heard. I’ve been hyperaware of my swallowing for 1-2 month. I feel like I have so much saliva in my mouth and I have to swallow and swallow. I feel the urge to swallow even I don’t NOTHING in my mouth, so I just swallow air. This has been really overwhelming and I feel like I can be so easily latched to other body part of my part. For example, I was conscious about my blinking and breathing for a few days, and now I get so anxious when I heard a weird sound my ears make after each sentence I speak. Is this somatic ocd or health concern ocd? I am so helpless and having a hard time to shift my attention. Does anyone have any suggestions or just words of encouragement would really help me at this moment. I REALLY appreciate your help. 💗🙏 Thank you !

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