- Date posted
- 2y
Story time
I had a rough day today. I was losing hope, confidence and faith. Everything that my heart desires and prays for. I came across the Law of Attraction and been applying use for that along with praying to God. They both have helped me try to beat OCD and negative thinking. Today started out normal I guess. Then by the Holy Spirit, I was told to go get an application for a new job and to go to Church today. The sermon was how we must have faith in Christ and God. WHOA🤯. My mind was absolutely blown. That was a sign the God was with me. Then the enemy took advantage after wards to rain on my parade. It made my OCD go full blown Bizerk. I had a panic attack. I started ruminating looking up articles and each one says certain stuff about some things. But that’s the enemy that wants me to do that hence why I see some certain things. Afterwards, I had a mental burnout. My OCD even questions if that was God or not. It makes me look at signs saying that yep that’s not gonna happen, or see I told you we’re wrong. My brain looks for signs to mess me up. I know it would be normal to be spooked out a little and question. But in my ways I received many signs from God. It made look up articles where I saw answers that made me even more messed up. My mind would overflow with negative intrusive thoughts like I’m committing a horrible sin, I’m making God angry, and I’m going to hell for this. Like am I committing a sin?, am I doing Satan’s work?, am I receiving bad luck when my manifesting comes true?, is God warning me? is God gonna punish me for doing this? Even though I have all the assurance I need. Then I heard Gods voice telling me that wasn’t me. You’re not doing anything wrong. If you were I would tell you. I calmed down a bit, but I’m burnt out. Whenever I get an OCD attack, I get tired mentally and physically. It sucks, and the worst part is it’s gonna come back and get me. Why can’t I just believe that it’s actually God that’s with me. Why does it have to question literally everything with doubts and fears. I know God wouldn’t put something in my mind to cause fear and doubts. God would tell me something that’s peaceful and happiness. Something that would calm me down and tell me the truth. Even when I talk to God through prayers, I feel like there is lying between both sides. It’s like it’s never gonna leave me. Sometimes I’m able to focus, but other times I get easily distracted by the enemy. I realized the enemy uses my OCD to bring me down. This is hard to tell anyone, even a preist, on what I’m going through. It’s like a mental battleground. I’m praying and praying for this to stop and just believe and have faith like todays sermon said. Still a little shook, but feeling better. God bless you all🙏❤️🕊️