- Date posted
- 2y
Vent
I feel miserable, it’s been a little over a month since my OCD flare up & dissociation. My brain feels like a big mess, I feel good during the day only for an hour and the rest of the day is occupied by me feeling either extremely anxious or hopeless and exhausted. I’m also under stress because i have to start college soon and for that i have to give entrance exams. Also, im leaving school and my friends will probably be going to different cities and just thinking about it makes me so emotional which triggers my existential ocd. I’m also dealing with somatic ocd particularly hyperawareness of my thoughts, thinking about thinking, hyperawareness of presence of consciousness, process of cognition. It’s all so weird and i don’t even fully understand my compulsions or core fears so i don’t know how erp will even work. I’m scared of going to sleep because you have to be alone with ur thoughts & sometimes my ocd latches onto sleep itself. everyday feels so unpredictable & scary. it feels like i’m losing myself everyday. It’s never been this bad.