Failed A Major Exam for The 6th Consecutive Time, Worst Thing is i didn't fail cause i didn't care i failed cause of my very own Brain.. I just want to Vanis now...

In my case Not only ocd i also have Executive Dysfunction which is the main problem ocd also caused problems in studying but not as much as Executive Dysfunction Because Of Executive Dysfunction i rarely can actually study and most times i don't even start studying unless it's an emergency. Thus i have failed Several exams cause i only study the night before the exam and that's not enough so i fail... I WANT to study and pass exams like everyone else but My Brain doesn't give me permission unless it's the very last minute. The Feeling is Terrible when you want to do Something so bad but can't & All the ppl around you think you're irresponsible or u just don't care or you're very very dumb... If i can give my best then i think I'm not that dumb that all the ppl in my life think me to be... I'm average as a Student, i believe i at least have the capability to Pass Exams but here I'm failing exams after exams enduring humiliations here and there despite wanting to Pass so bad. I failed The School's Final today so i ain't getting promotion in College, it's really over, i don't know about all of this anymore all i know is i have had enough and it's time to bagpack.

I have already read this a long ago My problem ain't OCD actually It's EFD but it's too severe, feels like i have ADHD but i can't have that I don't know what problem my brain has Well his was JEE exam that's an another thing, i can't even finish School, won't get promotion in College, One year is wasted And i don't know how to Face People when results come out.... I don't care about all of this anymore

@Have Some Chocolate 🍫 I have friend of mine who have adult onset ADD without hyperactivity.He had significant improvement on taking meds and practicing relaxation exercise

@osler the ocd fighter I can't take meds as i have OCD, i have heard ADHD meds Makes OCD bad... Plus i don't have ADHD How can i have ADHD... I will never get a diagnosis from a Professional as Symptoms wasn't present before the age 12 So how I'm gonna take medicine randomly My Symptoms Match With Executive Dysfunction more as There's some things that doesn't happen with me but they tend to happen with ADHDers Like Hyperfocusing, i cannot Hyperfocus, tho if i get a into a work which provides dopamine to my brain i can go the entire day with that work leaving all my works... Even if there's exam ongoing 🤦‍♀️ Who the hell during exam does this Without ADHD ppl, you can do this & that the whole year but not at least before the exam. And another thing which i don't do is i don't replace and then forget things here and there, but my working memory maybe ain't that good cause i do forget my study materials even after practicing well But ADHDers are a lot more forgetful. Yea Hyperactivity is a different thing unless you have the Combined Type ADHD, but ADD ppl tend to Hyperfocus and Forgetting things which i don't my symptoms match with EFD more I mean i have all the EFD symptoms but not All the ADD symptoms but i have Enough ADD symptoms to get a Diagnosis i mean according to my age you have to have 5 symptoms at least, i can easily relate with 5 symptoms but the thing is i ain't getting diagnosis cause i didn't show the symptoms before the age 12 And They Don't Consider Onset Adult/Adolescent ADHD as actually ADHD, i first thought this was rubbish as i didn't know about EFD back then so i confused if i can't have ADHD what's my problem then But now i don't find it rubbish as ADHD is A Neurodevelopmental and Innate Disorder, means it's something you're born with not you develop after like OCD so you must show the symptoms during Childhood right?? Where was my this sudden state back then... God Knows

@osler the ocd fighter But Another Thing is Tho i don't relate with All The ADD symptoms I do relate with how their brain works funny cause even some years ago i was quite like A Total Neurotypical unless i started showing symptoms of OCD of course But now No Neurotypical things suit me, i can't do anything in neurotypical ways... And my brain has become totally an interest based brain like ADHDers. It has no Importance of things now 😭 It does whatever it wants and satisfies it, i feel like a puppet like I'm so helpless i can't do a thing I have gathered Several ADHD strategies to accomplish tasks but rarely i can follow them and whenever a rare time i can actually do things my OCD then comes manipulating me saying you were just pretending, you purposely don't do anything and then blame your brain 😭😭😂😂 Also like ADHDers my brain only gets motivated when it's an Urgency, Something new & interesting and i don't know about the competition thing 😂 as i can't remember when i did something competitive last Time and was my brain motivated or not And overall my brain is very much like them and also works/ thinks like them. Whenever i see ppls opinion in their Community I relate so damn much... Like i literally have this but don't😂... I don't know anymore... Can Someone with Executive Dysfunction relate this much With ADHD... I don't know tho EFD & ADD symptoms are almost similar so it can just be EFD.

@osler the ocd fighter And Another thing is I'm fidgety. I mean a lil hyperactive. Like i can't keep my legs relaxed while sitting on a Chair, i keep shaking them I didn't use to do this before. And also i can't sit for long, i just tend to stand and walk here and there avoiding the work and workplace 🤦‍♀️ Sorry i wrote Too much, I'm confused about my brain lol

I don't know, I'm confused. And tbh my attention problem ain't as severe as ADHDers i have seen them saying they get distracted by very small things, i also get zoned out but it's not that severe plus i don't have some symptoms as i said you before plus that childhood thing so i don't think i have it maybe it's just efd who knows I mean how is it possible, it came so suddenly like.... I was doing good in 2019 but had OCD problems After my OCD reached peak in 2020 then from 2021 I'm showing these EFD/ADD symptoms who knows what Tho i had this habit of putting of things for later since childhood tbh But that procrastination was intentional and its wasnt Severe and i could get things done at the end of the day and i could pass exams 😢 with pretty fair enough results I didn't have attention problem then But when i entered adolescence i started having a lil attention problem like i used to get zoned out if it's a long lecture and then used to have problems cause of missed lecture, and if a friend talked straight to my face i used to get zone out and then im like yeah yeah, Then? My friend understood somehow I'm not listening and asked are you even listening? I said yea, yeah 😂 This happened several times and i was blaming myself inside that you speak too much but when it comes to listen to others you don't listen Plus For OCD thoughts i also used to have trouble focusing But An ADHD thing i always had since childhood that is I daydream a lot 😂 it's like i used to leave my studies and all and then play in my daydream 🤦‍♀️ I'm still a daydreamer but all my life i never noticed this is something serious and thought those were just my childhood way of playing Until some days ago i got to know I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and i was like whoa this is a thing? This has a name! Now i understand Those daydreams during childhood leaving behind all the Work and studies wasn't just Random playing. Tho daydreaming doesn't only Happen with ADHD, All ppl daydream, some daydream more crazily like me 😂 so it doesn't Prove Anything I don't know but if i consult a professional how will they give me ADHD diagnosis if i don't meet the diagnosis criteria And no i don't have friends😂 last friendship also broke last year, i don't want to make any friends now They just leave at the end of the day and Nobody is interested enough to make me their friend... Yes i have hobbies tho and Pet? No.

@Have Some Chocolate 🍫 Forget about the diagnosis,let the health professional decide First consult , if you can practice mindfulness also along with its good

@osler the ocd fighter Hmm... Let's see