So my HOCD is quite worse. I was trying to do an exposure. I was looking at good looking guy to test arousal at my school. I was doing it for days. But now for few days my mind has been telling "he is your wife". Whenever i try to visualize getting intimate with my girlfriend friend. My mind goes would u cheat on your wife and that guys image comes in. Idk if its hocd anymore or i am in denial. Please can any one help or relate.

Actually I don’t think what you were doing is an exposure, a lot of people do that to check how they feel, it’s more like a compulsion. But I’m not sure obviously, I’m not a professional or anything. That could have definitely made it worse if it was a compulsion.

Idk what i feel. I think i am in complete denial. I have been dealing with this for 4 months. I felt like i was in denial before but this time its to real.

Plus when ever i am around guy friend i get the thought of kissing them when they are really close. Once, i even got to a guys neck to check if i would like it, but i ended up nearly puking.

Ok so you don’t want to be that way, then this probably is ocd. I have the same problem I’m not diagnosed so it’s rough because I can’t tell. Here’s some things I go through: •Asking myself if I’m attracted to almost every girl I see •Wondering if I’m gay •Sometimes I get triggered by songs •paying attention to everything I do (like I’ll watch a video and if I look at a girl in in my mind will try to tell me I’m doing that because I’m a lesbian) •Feeling like I need to tell the truth and stop lying to people even though I never felt this way before •getting triggered by things online that say “show your true self” or “show your true colors” •getting triggered by my friends because I’m scared I like them That’s only some things, but everyone is different. I don’t get anxiety anymore because I’ve been dealing with this for so long so it’s very confusing and scary. What are some things that bother you?? I’m here to help!!

It feels soo good to hear i am not going through this alone.♥️ My triggers are similar to urs. Basically online stuff. All the gay and closet things. Whenever i look at a good looking guy, i say to my self well yeah he is attractive. But my mind starts obsessing over him. Its really bothering

Idk where i am at this point. I also have been called gay, everyone use to call each other gay in a joking manner. I haven't told anyone about this. Only thing that keeps me going are the ocd related videos. I feel a bit better for a while,then ocd returns much stronger. Idk what i am now gay or straight. Have u ever been to a therapist about this?

I really hope so, I hate the feeling of anxiety. It’s like when you get butterflies but it’s not good ones it’s shitty ones. It’s like bees in your stomach almost. I really do wish I had a therapist, that would make me feel better. I feel sick, I don’t want to be a lesbian. I’ve always liked guys, I want to date a guy. Ugh

Hope you get over this!!! Its like living hell not knowing who we are♥️

Well what I’m noticing is you don’t want that. When you are thinking about doing this stuff do you enjoy it? Do you secretly want to do that? I’m only asking because I’m trying to help. What seems like you’re doing is checking, which a lot of people do with ocd. But I’m not completely sure

I don't want to do anything with same sex. It feels so real. I don't wanna go to school. It is triggering for me. Idk if i even have OCD. I just want these thoughts to disappear and be like before.

I think its OCD because before 2 year i had health anxiety. I was convinced i was having heart faliure. I. Went to the doctor and did ECG and ECHO but it was fine. But these sexual thought feels way wasy real to suspect it to be OCD.

Yeah it’s very confusing, I’ve had it for about 8 months now :( It’s been very rough but at this point I feel better than I did in the beginning. I felt terrible in the beginning cried everyday, I would feel so accomplished if I didn’t cry one day. It was shitty. Now I feel a little better, but my anxiety has decreased so much because I’m getting used to the thoughts. It’s the backdoor spike. It’s scary because I can’t tell if I actually have ocd. I wish I could get diagnosed but i can’t find a therapist that specializes in ocd. So I’m kind of stuck in a bad situation. I dealt with this in 5th grade as well, because a kid called me a lesbian. I worried about it for like a year and a half. Nonstop crying, I couldn’t stop. The only thing that helped was watching shows to get my mind off it. Terrible memories, but this isn’t any better. :((((

No I have not sadly. But one thing I can tell you is you are saying you love watching the videos but the ocd returns stronger that’s 100% a compulsion. You watch the videos to make you feel better. I used to do the same thing, I’ve forced myself to stop. Don’t get any reassurance it makes things worse. Looking things up was a bad one for me too!

Also right now I’m triggered because I’m scared it’s not ocd. But what I’m doing is sitting with the thoughts and the anxiety I’m getting. I feel pretty shitty and confused right now

Yeah it happens. Sometimes it feels like its not ocd. U gotta endure it. At the end its gonna be better. I was feeling shitty moments ago but now it feels a bit real and these thought i got are irrational. They feel real because of the anxiety and the fear. Its gonna go away.

I hope you do too!❤️

My anxiety actually went away I think I did something right after about an hour!