I also wanted to ask if anyone here has intrusive suicidal thoughts, that are just repetitive and the thought that I’m going to go crazy and hurt myself. I feel like I’m just afraid of my own self because I want continuous reassurance from others that I wouldn’t do such a thing and that I’m normal.

I am afraid too that it will make me depressed and I’m scared to become that

I’m struggling with this right now. It’s so scary. I keep having the thoughts and tons of anxiety. I try not to go anywhere alone or be alone for too long (one of my compulsions) one of my other compulsions is to think about all the things I’m looking forward and want to do before I die. Sometimes all I say in my head is no, over and over. I constantly check to see if I’m depressed or happy. If I’m frowning too much I try to do something that makes me happy to make sure I’m not depressed. It’s so exhausting. I hadn’t seen many people on here with this kind so I was scared to talk about it.

Do I get really scared when I think about the thought?

Oh I get terrified of myself and anxiety attacks kick in

Oh yes.

Very common OCD thought. You got this!

Which one?

Glad to know I’m not alone

Like are you taking like antidepressants or doing therapy or anything like that?

I struggle with this. I do also have Major Depressive Disorder (along with Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Borderline Personality Disorder, and of course OCD) though, and have attempted suicide four times. I haven't in almost four years, but I'm constantly worrying about it.

This is a type of OCD called Suicide OCD Im pretty sure! I just read about it on the intrusive thoughts website

Exercise has definitely helped with the anxiety part of it 100 percent because anxiety is adrenaline and it needs to be let out and most of the time the adrenaline that builds up in your body gets released when you work out

Although I’m sure this is “reassurance seeking” reading this post, I am so glad that I am not alone. This is exactly how my ocd plays out: especially the fear of “going crazy” or becoming depressed and then constantly checking in with myself to see if I feel anxious, depressed, etc. I recently started ERP and am starting to see serious results. My therapist has me creating scripts and this app is awesome to help with the exposures. It is SO hard to face and accept, but once I really committed to the therapy I have made huge gains.

I think we are the same person ... I have this everyday. Sometimes I wonder if I have depression tho. But let me ask you something. Do you get really scared when you think about it ?

Oh honey it’s OCD trust me. And you picture it too right?

What I mean is: You are stronger than this common OCD thought.

Trust me I’m still scared of depression but please think about this. There are so many options out there to help you feel better. Are you taking meds?

Yea harm ocd is very common

You can even read up on it

OCDnewbies mine is exactly like that!!!

Yeah got the same thing here

Jbrird888 I used to be on Zoloft for about a year and then I felt strong enough to come off of it. I even went a month or so without having such crazy thoughts then when I came off of it now it’s been 2 months and it’s all back

Try ERP!

Granted I have been also dealing with the loss of my dad, who was in an accident

So that could be a trigger why it’s back?

It’s funny , I use to always reassure myself that wouldn’t do it. But that made it worse bc it would make me endlessly reassure myself. However when I learned the technique of actually imagining myself doing it and holding that thought, letting that anxiety go thru my body. It had less effect on me. I still get those thoughts tho , but it affects me less. But when I do this it still makes my brain exhausted tho

Have you ever tried ERP? I went to psychiatrist and they offered me Zoloft. But I refused cause I wanna. Try just ERP first. You should too. Do you exercise? Vitamins? Meditate? Do all those as wel I am too. I do not want meds at all.

Yes that is what its called.

I do exercise 3-4 times a week and started about 2 months ago. I don’t take vitamins but I should. I just don’t know what to take

Do you feel like the exercise helps! And dw I went thru what you went thru i was obsessed the fact I had depression and I was gonna kill myself. Now I’m obsessing that im gonna hurry someone else.