I need guidance

Please get her in NOCD therapy. There is help!!

Ok then, before she starts therapy a good place to start is to teach her to recognize her thoughts as *separate* from her. Maybe even try to visualize them as bubbles/clouds/boxes. When she is able to practice being separate from her thoughts, she will learn that they do not belong to her. She is *not* her thoughts, and her thoughts are like clouds that float in and out. She is *not* a bad person for having those thoughts (that is why they are called *intrusive* thoughts). Once she can separate herself from these thoughts, a great next step is COMPASSION♥️ she can now learn to have compassion for her brain (imagine, the brain thinks that it is keeping her safe by bringing up all of these scary thoughts or urges to your daughter. Her brain is not the enemy. Compassion and sympathy). Something that has helped me is literally speaking to my brain: “Hi brain, I know that you’re bringing this to me because you feel that it is urgent, thank you.. it must not be easy to feel so anxious and afraid. I recognize the thoughts you are trying to show me, and I choose not to engage. I choose to disregard these thoughts. I know that no answer or discovery will ever satisfy my OCD.” Please ask for any clarification that you might want. OCD is NOT life-long. Intrusive thoughts are a part of a healthy brain. Intrusive thoughts are not the problem, the obsessions are.

Oh, and one more thing: NOCD has support groups I believe for people who have family members with OCD. Info about it should be accessible in this app. I think you can still attend a support group even before your daughter’s first session, but I’m not 100% sure.

Hello, I have struggled with OCD as long as I can remember. I am 25 now but I remember as a kid feeling like if I didn’t touch things a certain amount of times or perform other rituals something bad would happen like my family would die. I truly believed this and I would panic, I know therapy is very unaffordable but that would be a great option for her at this age, I feel if I would have had therapy at a young age it would’ve helped tremendously. There are also many great free resources on YouTube- OCD and anxiety channel is great also therapy in a nutshell has helped me so much! Maybe discussing with your doctor about medication would help also, if it is causing her severe distress the medication may help. I also wanted to say kudos to you momma because you are very aware and that is huge! My mom would get mad and punish me when I would perform rituals versus you are actually trying to help and that’s awesome! I’m sure you already have but try and ask your daughter why she feels she needs to do the rituals, I’m sure their is a reason just like how I thought I was protecting my family etc, and explain that nothing she does will affect the outcome of things out of our control! That would’ve been huge for me as I believed I really could control these things through ocd rituals and compulsions. You are doing a great job and I’m sure this is extremely stressful for you. Just remember that she is struggling but there are many resources out there to help her! OCD can also come in waves and be triggered by stress.

Hello! I have hard OCD for quite some time and it’s onset was when I was 6 years old. It got so bad that there was a point when my mom would make all my other siblings be EXTREMELY quiet and go out the back door to school instead of the front if I slept in because my mom said there for a while it was the only peace I ever had. I know this can be extremely hard for you to watch as to the fact that you love them so deeply. And being a single parent? With 2 other kids? I cant even imagine. It’s totally normal to feel exhausted and drained. It is so much to deal with being in it, but it’s also a lot to deal with for the people around you. My mom became my biggest comfort throughout those times, not because she had the answers, and not because she made all of it, go away. But because out of everyone, she loves me through it and it was very obvious she wanted to help me and be there for me. I know she was extremely overwhelmed, and I know her heart was breaking because she couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. But sometimes when we feel really big things, we’re not always asking the person next to us to fix it all (because sadly, no one who is not a professional Can make as big of a dent in our healing (+God))  but we simply just need someone to sit with us.  My thought spiral and go crazy, but I’ve always been able to count on my mom to sit there and say “I don’t completely understand, but I want to try” So this is exactly advice, because therapy is a really big help. This is me telling you to keep going, and I promise in the long run when your child finds peace and certainty, and comfort-she’s going to remember what you did for her. That you were so strong for her, and that she couldn’t of done it without you   I also want to say, thank you so much for reaching out and getting her help quickly. Many parents neglect that there’s ever an issue to begin with because they don’t want their child having “problems “  I promise it gets better!!! keeping you in my prayers as you continue to walk to the journey.

Read the book “brain lock” on amazon.

I definitely want to echo what everyone’s saying here about you clearly being an amazing mother and doing the right thing by your daughter. I was around that age when I first started any OCD related therapy and thank god I did because it really helped me. Anyway, in the meantime before your daughter’s first session next month - I think I heard some of the NOCD folks mention how they offer these like cheaper and less formal “OCD Education” sessions, so it might be worthwhile to reach out to NOCD and ask them about that. Additionally, NOCD has these YouTube live chat things where people submit questions and one of the NOCD therapists gives responses and some helpful tips. Also, I was just recommended in a NOCD support group Kimberley Quinlan’s “The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD“ and recently started reading it (I’ve heard other NOCD therapists mention this book, too). It’s been great to read so far, but there are definitely other great books on OCD out there. I don’t know if you’ve looked into any of these resources and things already, but maybe some things to consider before the first appointment in June. In any case, you’re definitely doing the right thing and supporting your daughter in a great way, and I am sending you all my support!

Hi! I also began having severe OCD at the age of 10, and had the exact same thoughts of wishing for it to go away and to just be normal like everybody else. I know it’s so hard to understand, but your daughter truly feels like she has no control over this and that she has to do the compulsions. She isn’t fighting you because she is being difficult, or because she isn’t trying hard enough- she just truly feels like she cannot stop. I promise you, she *wants* to stop more than anyone, she wants to ignore it, and she would give anything to do so. It sounds like you are a wonderful mother, but what she needs more than anything else is compassion and empathy, because this is harder for her than anyone. The other thing she needs is professional treatment. I suffered for months, missing school and unable to sleep because my compulsions were so complex, and when I finally entered treatment and received ERP from a trained professional, I was able to conquer the OCD and I got better! But it isn’t something that she or you can do on your own, and if you can afford it, the best thing you can do for all of you is get her the professional help that she needs, and be as kind as possible, because I know from experience that it’s tearing her apart to both experience this and see how it’s affecting her family. I wish you the best of luck, and just know that there is hope and that with time and patience and compassion and treatment, she will come out the other side!