Brain is freaking out

Basically the guy I'm seeing has this opinion and we talked about it and idk what to believe because she's said once that he didn't think this way then again that he did but ever since our conversation I've tried to forget about it and he's definitely not shown signs that the opinion he said he has is true. So now I'm really confused and I don't want to bring it up again out of fear of it being true, because I disagree with it. The thing is in our society now, if I disagree with someone's opinion then I feel like I can't associate myself with them. If someone disagrees with my opinion, I feel like I'm either in the wrong or that I have to stand and fight otherwise I'm gonna burn in hell and people will hate me for it. I'm really struggling because he's a lovely guy and I've fallen so so so deep for him that I don't want to let something like this change that. His opinion is not mine but I feel if I stay then people will think it is, I'm scared people will tell me to leave him. I’m scared his opinion will stop me fr being able to see him. Idk I'm confused. As humans we have one thing, to decide what and who we believe or believe in, but for some reason if the large amount of people who stand today don’t agree with me or mine, then I feel like the worst person on the planet. So if his opinion isn’t right, I get scare I’ll have to leave

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I went through a massive shift in my personal/political beliefs about six months ago. I'm not sure if his opinion is political or not, I just thought I'd share my experience with you. I was very very leftist for a few years, as I was submerged in band culture and most people who go to concerts/are in bands think that way. I started having doubts about some of the things I was seeing, and I began having intrusive thoughts about seeing things a different way. It was extremely distressing for me, because at the time I truly believed that if I saw things from a more moderate/conservative perspective that I would not only be a horrible person, but everyone else would see me that way too and cancel me. I spent months trying to push the thoughts away, but they only became more intense. I finally chose to allow myself to have the thoughts, and that started a whole new round of anxiety, because for me, I actually resonated with some of the things I was thinking. It was a really uncertain and scary few months, but I exercised a lot of patience and compassion with myself as I allowed my beliefs to change, even if it meant that others would think less of me. I began to find that while I wasn't connecting with some people in the way I had before, I was forming new connections in my life, and all the while I started feeling more like myself again. I think OCD and the current political climate/culture in our country have a lot in common. All or nothing thinking, you either "have the truth" or you don't, your good if you believe this but a horrible bigot if you don't, etc. Having OCD, we know that this type of thinking isn't only nonproductive, it's destructive by nature. It sounds like you really care for this person and have a real connection with him. That's not an easy thing to find. Despite what others may think and what your OCD says, I'd encourage you to ask yourself this question: what do I truly value? We can never guarantee that everyone around us will agree with our choices or even like who we are. But love, whether it's toward yourself or others, is about sticking around despite imperfection and also about knowing that we'll never fully be certain, and that's okay :) I wish you luck, you are much stronger than you believe.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@Theocdguitarist Thank you so much for sharing you’re story it really really helped me see that I’m not the only one out here who thinks about these things and stresses about the thoughts. I do really care for this guy and I know he’s not the the bad person my ocd keeps convincing me he is. It’s just so hard to stop thinking! Thank you honestly this comment was so much help and has made me see many different ways I can help my obsessive brain!

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@godihatemondays I'm glad :)

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@HenryMP27 I’m just completely worried you’re gonna think bad of me for being with him or him in general. You’re right in everything you’ve said and I know that, I just get so worried

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@HenryMP27 The thing is it’s towards a topic that in todays society shouldn’t even be a discussion. He talked about how he’s straight and that he doesn’t understand the attraction towards same sex intimacy, he’s said he’s not homophobic and he’s got friends who are gay, so i think he meant it more as because he’s straight he doesn’t see the attraction instead of the he’s homophobic but because of my brain it’s convincing me that he is and convincing me because he even thinks that he’s a really bad person. Even though he’s never ever shown me reason to believe that and when we’re together he seems incredibly respectful! I don’t know if I should ask about it or follow it up. Even now talking about it I’m so so so worried that there’ll be someone out there now thinking badly of me or my relationship

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@godihatemondays Beyond stressed out I shared this. Like I am very anxious rn

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@HenryMP27 It really is. It’s just I’m scared, I keep thinking he said something in a way that sounds bad when I don’t even know if it was said it that way. I think as well that in today society everything is a debate, so when he said that I felt really struck by the fact he was saying it and how it’s taboo I guess. I’m really struggling it’s making me think I can’t be with him because he may or may not have said something in a way that may or may not be wrong. If that makes sense. I’m having a very hard time trying to let this go. I’m just scared to the point I don’t know if I can rest till I talk to him about it, my brain is making it a huge deal. Ocd is killing me

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@godihatemondays I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this all day because I’m worried I’m being judged by everyone who’s read this or something f like genuinely having the worst mental health day ever

stuckonathought

Date posted: 2y

@HenryMP27 Yeah you’re right I consume myself with the thought that everyone else is thinking about me in this negative life it’s really hard so thank you for letting me see that! I’m not sure how to stop giving them relevance, I haven’t stopped thinking about it all day and it’s making talking to him hard because I’m just thinking about it. But yeah scared what he said was wrong still, I think I’m gonna talk to him about it the next time is we him to show my worries! You’ve been an amazing help though so thank you!

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