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Username: October12

Date posted: 1y ago

The struggle bus

I am feeling absolutely hopeless that ERP will work. I am in a state of near constant heart pounding, restlessness, and my head spinning and spinning. I feel like it’s too hard and I can’t do this and if I don’t get this, I’m out of options and will end up in a mental institution. This is the most insane experience I’ve ever had in my 43 years alive. I have two young children and a husband that are my world and I just want to be free of this!! I want my old life back before I woke up like this on some random day. I feel completely hopeless and like I’m not supposed to reassure myself, encourage myself, etc. I just needed to get this out.

Username: Josh F34Josh F34

Date posted: 1y ago

Wanted to drop a book recommendation as well: Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Self. Book was a game changer for me. I like the audible version, but it’s available in multiple formats.

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@Josh F34 Thank you.

Username: Josh F34Josh F34

Date posted: 1y ago

Hang in there. It feels slow and frustrating at times, but stay committed to the process and you will get your life back. Sending calming energy your way!

Username: Hopeful32Hopeful32

Date posted: 1y ago

Hang in there! I didn't learn of my OCD until I turned 41. I am now 42 and trying my best to navigate this whole thing. The hardest part for me is that I have always been this way and it "was just the way I was" Except now it's keeping me isolated and feeling very alone. I feel like I'm losing a part of me and the anxiety heightens. The intrusive thoughts and rumination does not stop and it is exhausting. By the end of the day I feel like I ran a marathon.

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@Hopeful32 Right? It’s only 1:49pm and I feel like I’ve run a marathon already too. Oddly my theme of ocd has morphed into when will this stop? When will I feel like myself again? Where did the real me go? When is she coming back? It’s exhausting.

Username: Ihateocd72Ihateocd72

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@October12 hi! That sounds like meta ocd. I have this as well and it exacerbates my main theme. I’m also obsessed with the “when will I be better? When will it stop, Will I be like this forever, what makes it go away, am I doing treatment correctly, what if it doesn’t work for me, when will I get my old self back, what if I’m never 100 percent” and it sucks and I’ve only been spiraling for 6 weeks. I usually only get an hour or two of complete peace on good days and even then the thoughts are still there in the background. Does it make you feel like someone took your Rose-colored glasses from you?

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@Peaches1127 It makes me feel like someone stole my life and sanity. It’s horrible.

Username: Ihateocd72Ihateocd72

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@October12 i completely agree and understand. Sometimes I am convinced I’m going insane

Username: Hopeful32Hopeful32

Date posted: 1y ago

I totally get it. I struggle with perfectionism, "just right" , symmetry OCD and It's constant trying to fix and perfect. I think the worst part is the mind. It doesn't shut up.

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@Hopeful32 Yesssss. Like can you please shut up for just five solid minutes? Just five!!

Username: ⋆⁺₊⋆mol⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆mol⋆⁺₊⋆

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I hear what you are saying! None of us are in the same boat you are but some of us went though similar experiences. It sounds like you are in a tough spot, but know that you can do this and while it sucks it has to be as hard as it is. The mind is so complex. I see one of your comments above- I’m currently self-monitoring as a obsession. When will I feel me, when will I feel like I did last year? Why, when, what and how. I’ve tried to do countless things to make myself feel better and it’s just taking too long and I’m impatient. But you are in the right space, to get help, and thrive with tools— eventually. I myself want to know the day I’m going to feel great, but since I don’t that adds stress. Just know as much as we can’t reassure, we can support and you are not alone in this although it may feel like you are.

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@hi.im.mol Thank you. And you described me perfectly. You’re very helpful. ❤️

Username: IllyasIllyas

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey! I know exactly how you feeling right now. I’ve been there before. Matter of fact I thought I was going insane. But recovery is possible. Recover doesn’t mean you won’t have ocd thoughts anymore, it means you are able to manage the symptoms and take back your life. There’s hope at the end of the tunnel. Sending love and light your way. Please be strong, do it for the people that love you and also all the people out there like us. We all in this together 🤍

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@Illyas Thank you so much! ❤️

Username: jakemen20

Date posted: 4y ago

Guys I’ve been working my butt off at ERP and getting my reassurance down to 0. At same time, I feel so awful and am so worked up over the fact that I’m not feeling better yet. I’m so worked up. I feel like this will never get better. I’m so sad. Idk what to do. I love my therapist and believe in my erp plan, but I don’t feel results yet after so much hard work. I’m drained and want my life back.

Username: real event o...

Date posted: 3y ago

success stories welcome, please i’m so hopeless about the future. i’m going to be seeing an ERP therapist soon, I have a hypnotherapist right now, and i’m starting medication today, but i’m so terrified none of it will work. i can’t keep living like this where every day is so impossibly hard. please, any encouragement or success stories very welcome

"Pure" OCD

Username: Twelve Squir...

Date posted: 1y ago

ERP Help

I need a different perspective on this. I feel like I'm being run through the ringer. I'm doing what I can to avoid reassurance and not avoid triggers but I get triggered every day. I'm trying so hard to sit with the panic and the horror but it's so hard. It gets to the point I feel physically sick. Is there anything that I can do to help with this? I feel alone. I don't feel strong, I feel like a punching bag. Why is this so hard to master? I really want to know it gets easier. I've been suffering from POCD that has evolved and gotten worse and worse over the past eight months that has been torturing me multiple times on a daily basis and I feel like I'm drowning. I want to run away and hide because my life feel like it's seconds from being ruined. Please, please tell me this gets easier. That this ERP therapy will stop making me feel like I'm dying. The small moments of victory feel so brief only for me to get hit with another wave. There is so much uncertainty over such a horrific thing I feel ill. I feel afraid to be alone with my mind. Please if anyone out there can please give me tips on how to handle ERP. One moment I think I'm finally beating this thing and the next it's got me pinned and I'm terrified my life will be ruined. I want my peace back, I need help and I'm doing everything I can to resist compulsions but I feel so alone and dirty and disgusting. Please help me. Thank you for any advice 💕

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