I went through a hoe phase when I was 18 and I’ve never been tested for hepatitis because I’m too scared to. In a way I feel like it’d be better not to get tested because most people don’t get tested for that so if I had it and knew it would just cause too much emotional harm for what it’s worth. Then another part of me is like WELL MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TESTED FOR IT BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THE REASON THE DOCTORS DON’T INCLUDE IT IN AN STD PANEL IS BECAUSE MOST DOCTORS ARE STUPID, BE BETTER THAN THESE IDIOTS AND TEST FOR IT ALLLL, IT’S YOUR HEALTH YOU HAVE TO KNOWWWW!!!!!!! I also hooked up with an older woman right before I went celibate and now I have the EXACT same train of thought about getting tested for herpes again like’ “What is a 59 year old woman with a FAMILY doing hooking up with a 21 year old woman at a bar??? She must be trashy, you probably got something from her!!!! You just ruined your future sex life FOREVERRRR and the head was trash too, good going idiot!!! Now you’ll never be able to have sex with your future boyfriend or husband and IF you do you’ll always be valueless and replaceable and he’ll cheat on you!!!” Ok this whole confession is embarrassing AS SHIT and trashy as hell and I’m super embarrassed to be putting this here, I was young and dumb and a fucking idiot, I’m genuinely SO happy I’m celibate now

I’m so sorry for your panic attack, I hope you’re feeling better ❤️❤️❤️ yeah I’m SUUUPER scared of STD’s and they are a major trigger for me as well. Is there anything you do that helps alleviate the fear and pain? My goal is to get rich so I can just go to the doctors any time I have a thought of ‘what if I have this’ just to get it out of the way

I’m not in the exact same position as you, but I can very much relate. I have an OCD trigger of STDs and I’ve only ever been with my boyfriend. But we both get cold sores on our mouths. So I have almost constant fear that one day one of us is going to give it to the other in the down town region. And then all these other awful thoughts like yours follow. We won’t be able to have normal sex. With if he’s mad at me. What if I can’t have a baby. What if I can’t ever kiss my baby because my cold sores could shed even when I don’t have one. It’s literally torture. In face, I had a little panic over it a bit earlier tonight.

That’s always a nice thought ? I feel like I would be at the doctor’s way too much. With OCD I notice that the more I ask for reassurance the worse and worse it actually gets. It’s difficult to do, but trying to live with that uncertainty is usually what I do whenever I have a random ass health related OCD trigger. It’s sucks still though.

If you’re active sexually, it’s good to get tested for STDs every couple of months. There’s nothing wrong with having sex, but it is good to do it responsibly. I’d suggest getting tested and facing your fear! Many people on here get tested over and over again but don’t trust the tests. In THAT case I would say to stop testing. But in your case, it seems like the test is what you’re avoiding. Avoidance only reinforces fear, so face the fear!