Self esteem

Something I've noticed is that I can't help but take certain things personally. Like losing in a video game when trying to have fun, or comparing myself to others unfairly, or whenever I think of the things I'm ashamed of. I don't really know why my self esteem is this low but with OCD, it does not help because of all of these intrusive thoughts. I don't really know what to do about it besides try to ignore it. I'm also not the best with socializing

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

Hi BigGip2 - I have to fight ocd judging me on so many things. This video is helpful in illustrating how ocd gets us to doubt everything we do -in terms of whether we are doing it “wrong”: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqts1uGCm468oPTFWkQ4Ewb4tMUrKYqOC I use these two methods for self doubt: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/shoulders-back-the-man-in-the-park/ https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ Shala Nicely’s website also has some good resources on self compassion when you have ocd.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

Those were really helpful videos! I thought they were funny and they were helpful. The gist I got from that is to welcome the uncertainty and to just embrace what can happen. Challenge yourself and put yourself out there more. But that gets me worrying about the past a bit still. The regrets. The testing compulsion that I did that day that went horribly wrong. I hope it's all of the same thing. That's the past now, but in the present, I just want to be able to not have anxiety hold me down and I want to be able to have a much better self esteem.

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 The serenity prayer (the first part) helps me let the past go enough to move forward in a positive way. Glad the videos were helpful for you. 🫶

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P The past is always putting me down. I think of the really impulsive things I've done and all the things I regret and I just get sad. I feel bad about the things that happened and I also feel bad about the way I am. If it's not one thing like this it's something else

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 I feel bad for yelling at my son so much when he was young because of my ocd. But feeling guilty and bad doesn’t change what I did. So when the thoughts come up I remind myself that I was not in control of my ocd, that I have apologized, and that I would have done better if I could have. And then I move forward with what I can do now. I have to have the serenity to accept that I can not change or undo the past, that what I can change only what I do now and in the future. And I use the links from Shala to help me not obsess and get stuck on guilt - as they does not help my sons.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P I just need to talk to my parents about the intrusive thoughts, my low self esteem and my anxiety. And how much this is affecting me. I realize asking how to get over this and what I need to do isn't enough. It's reassurance probably, even if it genuinely helps because I can't do it on my own

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 Yes it would really help if you could get erp therapy then cbt : dbt or talk therapy. There are some IOPs that do most of this.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Erin P I just can't find the timing to tell them. Or how to do it. It's hard. But I know I have to. I'm still trying to get together what I wanna say and the resources I have for this. What's an IOP?

Erin P

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 Intensive inpatient program -1/2 day - take a look at Rogers Behavioral website as an example. The Iocdf website lists others as well.

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 24w

Advice and Unbiased Opinions Please!!!

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 23w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

Chibee

Date posted: 22w

Online gaming

I got harassed in an online game (marvel rivals for anyone curious) today bc I was “playing bad.” I think they realized I’m a female player too (my username makes it obvious) so it gave them more fuel to harass me. I kinda threw the match after all the rudeness. I obsess a LOT over what my teammates think of me, whether I play well, and one negative interaction and I’m spiraling for a long time. I reported the rude players but now I’m too afraid to play again. I feel OCD makes it really hard to play online bc i’m constantly obsessing over my errors and sometimes can’t enjoy the game at all. I also obsess over winning, and it becomes addictive in a way. Anyone else relate?

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