Since my recent flare up, I feel like i'm now i'm now obsessing over OCD. I open Youtube to look up videos about how to live with it, I open NOCD almost immediately after waking up, I'm downloading books recommended, saving podcast episodes, joining online suport groups. I didn't notice it before but it almost feels counter productive? But I also do want to recover I don't even know what to even ground myself to at this point
Hey! Don’t worry about recovering “perfectly”, or if your recovery work is compulsive. I believe that as long as you take steps, you’ll learn what works for you and what doesn’t. I think it takes a bit of time to feel “grounded”, I remember the first few months of my OCD onset, I was completely depersonalized/derealized, and I feel like I’d lost my roots in reality and my whole worldview seemed to have lost that “grounding” like you mentioned. Sometimes there is no “line in the sand” with OCD about whether what you’re doing is compulsive or helpful. There’s nothing wrong with educating yourself about OCD or a seeking treatment. However, I do believe you have to attempt having a life outside OCD as well, making time to see friends and family, going outside, taking care of yourself and your living space, and finding some semblance of purpose in hobbies, work, or school. It may be very difficult to concentrate but you want to work on reclaiming your routines and personal life from OCD, it helped me immensely. You’re not going to feel like it’s enjoyable or even authentic, nothing will when you’re depressed and anxious, however, you should try to do it anyways! Maybe instead of opening YouTube or this app right away, you wake up and go outside for a walk or hop in the shower without any media and get your day started without stimuli that may increase early morning rumination. From there, have a plan for your day that you know would be good for you and try your best to stick to it! When the intrusive thoughts come, lean in, disregard, and think about “what am I gonna eat for lunch? What’s next on the schedule?” It’s not as easy as it sounds and it won’t be perfect or anything but just try to maintain your life outside of OCD, little by little, being gracious for yourself!
I definitely feel you! I couldn’t enjoy anything except OCD education content (videos, podcasts, online articles, etc) but as I’ve gotten treatment, accepted uncertainty, and developed a routine, I’ve been able to watch movies and shows again, I can listen to music and enjoy it, I’m starting to feel more connected to friends and had my first enjoyable “old self” conversation last week for the first time in probably 8 months and it was fabulous. I think it’s kind of a good and fun exposure to go on YouTube, Netflix, whatever you use and look up stuff you used to enjoy, and make yourself watch it. As you feel nothing and almost no pleasure, your anxiety or sadness might rise, but you can lean into it and remind yourself “I may never find this enjoyable again, I may never find joy in anything again, and allow yourself to feel nothing.” Eventually, your anxiety about it should all and your acceptance of the situation should increase and this fear of not enjoying things may start to unlatch. Does that make sense?
happy for you that you've started to feel normal again. And yes that makes sense, it makes me a little sad to think about but you're right. Accepting that I feel this way is a step in a recovery and I shouldn't try to rush out of it. I'll keep going thank you so much for your responses :')
it's like i'm scared if I don't figure it out asap and put my grip around it then it'll be uncontrollable, i definitely see how this might be counterproductive
yes it feels so unnatural when I try to engage with other content. My brain goes I should probably be trying to figure OCD out so that I can actually enjoy this and whew I see it's a trick OCD has used to get me back in the obsession cycle. I think a new routine will be helpful.Thank you so much for your reply it's really helpful
Why is this literally me
My counselor says she thinks I have ocd from what she knows so far. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that and I keep thinking about her face when she said it. I have spent hours researching it and I can’t sleep because all I want to do it know more about it. I google search on my phone and read article after article. Is this like an obsession? I don’t really get it. But I feel like I have to be the expert on ocd all of a sudden and I don’t know why.
I just found out I have OCD last February. I'm ashamed to say I had a really stereotypical idea of what OCD is and was very surprised to be diagnosed with it. I keep trying to learn more about OCD but every time I sit down to read something, watch a video, listen to a podcast etc... I can't stop myself from pausing just to fall into a thought spiral for hours, analyzing my brain and thought patterns and my whole childhood and past relationships and just everything. Ughhhhhhhhh. Any resources or tips for combating this, if this even made any sense lol, I have been very stuck on my brain today yikes (p.s. do you like my pfp? she's my dog, daisy. I love her very much)
After an incident last week that led to a panic attack, my OCD has become increasingly focused on the fear of having more. All my thoughts are focused on checking to make sure I’m not exhibiting panic attack symptoms, which leads me to start to panic, which leads to racing thoughts and physical symptoms, which leads to another attack. It’s a vicious cycle of not wanting to have another attack like this, but my brain is so focused on the concept that it’s all-consuming. I’m trying to treat this like any other OCD theme, but it’s just so hard. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced something like this before, but I’d love to hear from anyone willing to share.
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