I wake up with obsessions and compulsions all day long. I can't stop them. I'm frustrated and severely depressed. I have a psychiatrist and Psychologist. I've been going through this for 35 years. Ive done ERP. At times I had a grip on things but not now. I'm at the end of my rope. I can't handle much more.
Hang in there. OCD is the doubting disorder. I have had some horrific days, but you just have to remember you aren't your thoughts. Watch a movie, your favorite tv show, go for a walk. Some days are much worse than others. You aren't alone, we have all had days like this. I recently had a week like this, and it's still been rough, but even when you get 10-15 minutes of feeling ok, you will snap out of it. One of the things that has helped me, is just taking a step back. "Ok, ocd thank you for showing me how much I care" you got this!
@Anonymous That’s helpful - thank you.
Thank you all for all your support.
@Why me? 🫶
The OCD compiled by stress and severe anxiety is unbearable. It makes nothing enjoyable. I could barely go out to dinner tonight with my husband. Unfortunately for me there is no joy. I appreciate all of your kind words. I'm just venting in a safe forum. Sometimes it feels like tomorrow will also hold no hope. I know I'm a downer tonight. Thank you all for the support.
@Why me? Keep your head up! We are here for you! Much love to you ❤️ I’ve had those hard days and tomorrow is a new day but know you are loved and supported by others who understand. You have a purpose and you do have hope even if you don’t see it right now. Have a good night.
What’s changed? I’ve had this for about same amount of time and going through menopause made everything so much worse for me. Do you already take meds?
Yes. I'm on meds for depression. I'm past menopause. This disorder is horrible. It's just stealing my life right away from me. I feel like any self control is over. I'm tired. I'm exhausted from trying. I have no joy.
No, I do not take meds, I have my first psychiatric appointment soon because of my intrusive thoughts. I’ve been trying to cope by myself, it’s very difficult,but it does make you a stronger person.Honestly, I think taking action to change can really do you good, even if it’s only an ant-sized goal to over come this. You should always start small and work your way up. You’ve done ERP? That’s very good, if you carry on , the thoughts will leave you , I know it’s easier said than done
Do you have any support from friends and family? That helps as well. Symptoms of OCD wax and wane for many of us throughout our lives. More stress and health issues make the symptoms worse and sometimes medication changes are needed as well. I find when I work and do things it helps get me out of thinking about myself and the symptoms get better even though sometimes it’s very hard. Journaling helps me and so does my religion. Find what helps you. This is a hard disorder but there are a lot worse mental disorders to have than this.
I've been in all these different therapies and various tricks of the trade. Some work for short periods of time then I begin to decompensate again. I'm tired of fighting. 35 years is a long time. I have a good friend who I can talk to but has little to offer. Besides saying don't give up what else is there for her to say. My husband is supportive but in the same way. I feel very alone in this fight and I'm truly running out of steam.
I'm 20 and I'm going through this. You've been living with this for over 35 years, you're a fighter and so strong. But you probably don't want to be a fighter. I know I don't. I wish I could be normal. I'm 20 and if things go smoothly I still have around 60 years on this Earth. When I think of the future, it terrifies me, bc I can't imagine living with this much fear and uncertainty for so long. And then the thoughts get dark, you know? I don't know how old you are, but 35 years is a long way already. You've battled a lot and probably managed to get nice things out of this life. I mean, you have a good friend and a supportive husband, which are already more than many people have. I consider you very strong for living despite this. My advice (and one that I should take myself), is that you look for the small joys this world has to offer. The taste of a drink, the smell of rain, a gentle kiss from your husband, the wind blowing against your face. Remember that you've ran so much of this race already. Keep going, one day at a time, and be patient with yourself. It may get hard, but it won't always be overwhelmingly so.
@Why me? I feel the same way. And jaded at this point by many of the tricks of the trade. I work on my ocd but other conditions are holding me back, so I’m trying to work on those too, and getting more vitamin D. Crazy how something seemingly small, that we might be lacking physically, can effect us. Sometimes it’s one of those things, not that we aren’t working hard or that we are treatment resistant. For years I realized too I was sleeping on a bad mattress, so though I was sleeping the quality of my sleep was poor. Another time I realize the quality of my sleep was poor bc I was clenching. Sometimes we feel like shit bc our sleep quality is poor. Sometimes it is they there is a toxic dynamic in our life, past trauma, bad sleep, not enough water, a vitamin deficiency. Sometimes it isn’t from our OCD or depression or whatever else, which is why those mental health tricks of the trade don’t seem to work. And those things can definitely make our OCD and other things worse. Yes, sometimes it can be 1 puzzle piece that needs to be placed a bit differently, and not the whole puzzle that’s the problem. As in, maybe it’s not that your life is messed up, or that nothing works, maybe it’s 1 surprising thing outside of our mental health that needs a little shift or tug, in our for things to fall in better place with our mental health. And I pray that you find what that is, and not give up. When I feel as you feel, which is 80% of the time, I also try to move things around in my house, or reset some part of my environment too, which does help.
@ThisIsNotTikTokOrTwitter Also, the cycles of OCD are depressing as hell too, I totally get it. It feels so discouraging
@Why me? I’m sorry you are having such a hard struggle. I had no joy and was a complete mess from ocd but residential level treatment at Rogers Behavioral made a huge impact and I regained joy and much of my life. You mentioned menopause - did your ocd get worse with it - my ocd completely spun out during perimenopause - I’m essentially considered in menopause and I can share that for me without estradiol my ocd is much worse and I experience crushing sadness / numbness and severe fatigue.
I think sometimes in peoples lives there is more going on than just OCD.. We all have our own things going on besides OCD and how we handle those things makes the difference in how your OCD outcome is as well. I wish you the best. I think the little things in life are the most important to. Giving your time to help others as well. There will always be hard times in life but there will always be glorious wonderful times in life as well. It’s always and forever changing.
I have been fighting for over a decade. I know it's so hard and I have days where I feel the exact same as you. Like I've tried everything. Virtual hugs 🤗
I have been suffering from OCD for many years. I am on numerous medications through my psychiatrist and have been in therapy for over a year. I don’t feel like things have necessarily gotten better. While ERP has been a big part of my therapy, it has become harder to trust in the process. Has anyone experienced treatment-resistant OCD? I take responsibility for not being as dedicated to ERP as I was when I started, but I am so frustrated with my lack of progress. Any feedback would be appreciated!
For 13 years, OCD is not just a part of my life; OCD IS my life. I cant work, Im having intrusions all day, anxiety all day, afraid of my own mind, it even caused me chronic fatigue syndrom because I did only sleep a couple of hours for years because of the compulsions I did on repeat every awake hour of every single day, no pause, not even for 5 minutes. Ive had a couple of months where it was better, like I was able to live life a little more and not being tortured 24/7. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one with OCD for so long and the only one on whom OCD has such a big impact... 😔
I'm going to delete this in a bit because of my ocd, but any kind words and suggestions before I do, are appreciated. I feel so defeated, I'm so drained. I practice ERP everyday, I can't do it constantly, I'm just suffering so bad with ocd. I've had it my whole life for as long as I can remember but recently it's got horrendous. Is anyone else suffering this bad? Has anyone else had it your whole life?
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