rocd

Ever since my rocd got bad, I have no attraction or feelings toward my partner which is what my ocd wanted. Now, I’m constantly being tortured with thoughts that I want to/need to be alone and that Im just staying to not hurt/lose my partner. In my heart, that hurts because I know that is not true and that I love my partner. I’m struggling to determine what is real and what isn’t. My reality and life does not seem real anymore. It’s terrifying and it’s getting worse.

Username: amysmith amysmith

Date posted: 1y ago

i’m going through a similar thing but it’s the beginning of a relationship, it’s the worse feeling

Username: IamtheonewhooverthinksIamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

@amysmith Push through ! Both of you ! Rocd does this in the beginning of any new relationships .. it will never stop unfortunately.. the only way to win is to get through it . I’ve made plenty of mistakes to help me realize what thoughts I get in my head won’t ever go away and they are not true.. I’ve left partners made a mess of it to just obsess about the fact I’m stupid and can’t believe I did what I did and always ended up missing the person I left immensely .. I understood than that no matter what person I get with I will always have those doubts in the beginning.. you gotta push through and accept the thoughts as just that.. A THOUGHT. nothing wrong with thoughts we all get them.. we just cling to them very badly .. hang in there both of you and you’ll see the light trust me ..

Username: Emily SoaresEmily Soares

Date posted: 1y ago

@Iamtheonewhooverthinks Thank you! In the beginning of our relationship last year, my ocd was compulsively telling her everything i’ve done throughout my dating life, such as who I’ve talked to or dated, hooked up with, etc. Now, it’s just manifesting itself this way, and I think it’s because we’re so invested in the each other’s lives and families, and Im scared to lose that.

Username: IamtheonewhooverthinksIamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Emily Soares I am scared to. To lose the bond we’ve created and the life so far we’ve created .. but I also get thoughts from the other side .. such as what if she’s the one who doesn’t love me or what if she leaves me or cheats .. I get both thoughts both scare me both piss me off Lolol.. it’s not as bad as it used to be .. but I’ll still have my days where I’m doubting shit .. it freaks me out.. but like all of my other ocd themes when I’m not ruminating and I’m not hyper fixated on the thought or idea .. I’m perfectly fine and 150 percent happy and feeling myself .. it’s so weird .. to one day or week or two just be great and then all of a sudden feel the way we do when we go through this shit ..

Username: Emily SoaresEmily Soares

Date posted: 1y ago

@Iamtheonewhooverthinks Exactly, and I feel myself analyzing my feelings and actions when I’m with her, and I feel like the more I analyze my feelings and actions, the more I don’t feel and the angrier I get. I do also have a little bit of the other side.

Username: NotSure22NotSure22

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Might be helpful to do a what-if/then-what exercise. OCD loves when we stay on the surface, even our rabbit holes with OCD are actually not deep at all. Take it further. The OCD hates that. I.e If I stay with my partner to avoid hurting them, then what. I will be exposed and they will be so hurt when they realize the truth. Ok, Then what? I will ruin our lives and be unhappy. Ok…Then what? We will never ever be happy. I screwed up. Ok…Then what? I failed at life. Couldn’t do it right. Ok..then what? Nobody will ever love me or trust me again. Ok…then what? I will be all alone forever. Ok…then what? OCD captures us when we refuse to go deeper. So it’s good to go deeper.

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotSure22 What do you do with what the answers? See if there’s a theme? In the past when I’ve worked with an ROCD therapist, it’s not what’s in your head rather, it’s what’s underneath it which is always a big feeling - fear of loss, grief, shame, loneliness, etc. And those are hard to sit with. Is it the same thing here with the answers?

Username: October12October12

Date posted: 1y ago

Here’s some truth serum - if you didn’t want to be with your partner and wanted to be alone, you’d have left by now. That you’re here, upset by the thoughts of being alone and staying for the wrong reasons tells me it’s not your truth. Truth isn’t upsetting. So what do you do? Move towards your partner in spite of these fears. Show your mind that you’re not going anywhere by the way you behave. Lean into your partner. See what happens 😉

Username: Milena Dourado

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

Hello guys. I really need help. I have been questioning for days about “not being in love anymore” or “not loving my partner anymore.” The intrusive thoughts make me feel that this is all real. Why does it feel so real? Sometimes there's an image of me treating him badly or the feeling that I'm angry with him. I started repeating to myself about love being a choice. But then there are new thoughts like "what if I don't want to choose him?" Has anyone please felt this? Did you manage to get away? Are there any exercises I can do? Please, help me! Please.

Relationship OCD

Username: lilbill

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

My rocd flared up around the time my girlfriend and i were starting the process of getting an apartment. At the start, I was very excited and so happy to be moving together. then my mind kept thinking “she’s not going to let you have any say in anything, she doesn’t want you decorating, you guys don’t like the same things” and i started to believe that, which eventually led to me saying all that. and from there on, it gradually got worse. I started having thoughts like “do i even love her? am i in love with her? having i been faking it this entire time? do i have feelings for anymore? etc” and then i would have thoughts of breaking up and i’d get so anxious. now i wake up every morning thinking “i don’t love her, i don’t want to be in a relationship with her” and i get sooooo anxious. i know i love her, i know i don’t want to break up with her, i know the apartment is something i genuinely want, i just can’t feel any of it right now. every time i think of breaking up, i try to imagine my life without her and it doesn’t seem right. i genuinely can’t imagine not being with her. my feelings and thoughts before all this were very much happy and healthy, like i was smitten but now my thoughts affect me everyday, they’re all i think about. it’s all i research, i talk about it too much to other people, the thoughts are making me feel like i’m faking everything. does anyone have tips. i just want to feel like i used to feel

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 43w ago

ROCD? Please read 🙏

I’m so terrified that my feelings are not a product of ROCD and are actually real. They feel real, I think they are, and it makes me mad because I just want to be in a happy relationship but then I have a really real thought that picks apart every aspect of my partner: what he looks like, how he sounds, how he acts, how weird he is, his intelligence, his emotional state, etc. recently it’s been really sad because I feel critical towards him doing normal things like feeling exited, or trying to be funny, or making jokes, or even him being vulnerable and crying. I feel so judgemental and it feels so real, like that’s how I really feel, and maybe I do think he’s a little weird but I don’t want that to stop me from loving him. And I feel like it’s bad for be to think and feel all these things. I don’t want to let these thoughts take over my life and ruin all the growth that him and I have done together, but it honestly feel like that’s how I really feel some days, and idk if it’s ROCD.

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