OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Did an ERP session last night and now I am anxious

Hi fellow OCD warriors ! Just want to share something that both makes me proud and scares me tremendously… yesterday I did a successful ERP session on my own which made me so proud! However, I started having intrusive thought and then anxiety about something that I wasn’t so afraid of before! The feeling was so strong it made me panic. Till today I am still sitting in anxiety and regret ( regretted that I did the other exposure). I am well aware that I am on the right path and this is the right thing to do but I am just so scared. My OCD is false memory and harm themed. So basically I was wondering whether I hurt myself and forgot about it. I am sitting here feeling scared. What if I hurt myself? Not sure what to do.

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

The ERP is working - same thing has happened to me. Different circumstances but same OCD trait. My has always been about real events / false memory around when I was a kid and if I was a bad person. A new memory came up a month ago and I sat on it and it eventually went away - now that theme doesn’t bother me so much - but my OCD is now bringing up stuff that I’ve previously not been bothered about, your post has actually helped me to see this more clearly. OCD is not going to go down quietly it’s going to kick and scream and fight back. So the fact it’s looking for other things means ERP is working - and your winning. Don’t give up - you got this!

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Awwww thank you so much you make me wanna cry. Today has been a hard day. I am sitting here with anxiety and regret and wonders whether I did the wrong thing. My OCD is screaming at me:" You shouldn't have done that!!! You should have hidden behind your compulsions and felt safe."

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

So sorry your feeling that way. I don’t know where you are but maybe try and get some cold air on your face or drink some cold water - breathe. Get your overactive amygdala to quieten down abit. If a heroin addict was coming off heroin - they would be Ill there body would scream for the drug - and taking it would make them feel better - but should they take it? Compulsions are our heroin. Yes if you did one now it would make you feel better - even great. But then what? How many times have you been here, you have OCD it’s a disorder and it’s crippling - but it’s makes you think it’s not real - BUT IT IS. Sit with it, it will eventually pass and then the next time you will find it easier because you will know it will pass - and everytime it gets easier.

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jonathan123147 Thank you again you literally saved my day. I am trying very hard to fight with my OCD. My main theme is worrying about getting hurt and not remembering it. So now I am freaking out thinking I may have hurt myself during ERP last night and remembering. To me it seems like the stake is too high to not pay attention because I don’t want to be physically hurt and injured. :(

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

I understand, I really don’t want to reassure you because I know it won’t help in the long run. Do you feel hurt now?

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jonathan123147 Thank you ! I followed your advice and went outside for a bit now feeling much better. I don’t feel any sensation of hurt. But then again you know how OCD works. I am NEVER sure … in fact just by asking myself “do I feel hurt” I can come up with a list of “what if” questions trying to tell me that there is a possibility that I was hurt …

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

I completely understand, how long have you been worried that you are hurt

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jonathan123147 For the past year and half almost! Everyday I am scared of getting hurt in different ways.

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

But in the last year and a half have those fears come true?

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jonathan123147 That’s the thing —- I can never be sure whether something happened or not :( I constantly doubt my memory.

Jonathan123147

Date posted: 2y

But you are here still - what does that tell you

OCD Warrior123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jonathan123147 Thank you Jonathan ! You saved my day

Jennifer Dal...

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 25w

Let’s talk about Therapy

So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?

anxietypoops

Date posted: 22w

The RP in ERP

Hi! I've been on my OCD healing journey for about half a year and I have seen a lot of success. I'm reaching out for advice, I am very willing to do exposures because I know the more I do them, the more I get better, but I struggle with the response prevention part. I don't know how to control my brain when it comes to facing the fears especially since most of my compulsions are mental. I can tell myself the typical things "I am okay with the uncertainty of this happening", etc. but its like my brain doesn't believe them. I've been stuck in this disconnect for a while and would love advice you have heard from a therapist or learned that has really help you.

Looping

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18w

ERP/Therapy

I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.

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Did an ERP session last night and now I am anxious

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