Ever wonder why you deserved this?

One thing that has been really hard on me is that question, “why me”? Especially when other people seem to ride this life with no troubles at all (which believe me is probably not the case). Truth is we don’t know. What I do know is that choosing to follow God was never going to be easy. He has said in this life you will have troubles, but take heart He has overcome the world. Which believe me is so hard. I have prayed for God to take away my pain so many times and to heal me. What I have found is that sometimes healing doesn’t look like how we want it to. Maybe healing won’t happen until years from now or maybe not even until the moment we are called home. Maybe God just wants us to live a life of faithfulness (like Job) and knowing that even though we have this disorder we can still trust that He will use this for his glory. That he can use us for good. I know that’s so hard to hear and I’m so sorry that you have had to endure this for so long, but just know that God truly hears your prayers and he knows your pain, your anger, and He loves you. You’re not alone.

I’m so sorry ur going thru this:( have you tried erp or any sorts of therapy

I always ask myself this. When my OCD is bad I always ask myself why does God hate me specifically. Just know you're not alone.

I don’t believe in god but I have asked myself the same question why me, to me is just how nature is, our brain is an organ. Just as people get cancer or heart diseases, we have a condition in our brain. Right now there are innocent children starving, being raped, dying so the thing is we Currently grow up in a world that leads us to seek perfection, which does not exist, at the beginning our species was mainly concerned with surviving and I am sure it wasn’t fun, but at the same time they learned, evolved, reproduced. The brain evolved with more knowledge and things somehow getting more complicated, and here we are in our battle with OCD surviving, doing our best to control it.

I have wondered similarly before. Especially when I was first diagnosed. I too am in my late 40’s & only found out I have ocd last year. I can understand how it is to go for so much of your life without knowing what you are the way you are & why you do the things you do. There is hope. If you can get yourself to begin therapy specially for ocd, you can get to where you can do things you never thought possible. I am in it. Doing the work. Even though it really sucks sometimes & is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. You can get help for your ocd. You can change the outlook for your future. You’re still here & that means there is hope. It’ll be hard. But you can do it. One step at a time. You already know what living with ocd is like. You can only go up from here. By the way, I am sorry you are struggling so badly right now. I was very angry when I was first diagnosed. Similarly to you, I wondered why me, why do I have to have one more thing to deal with & try to make it through. I was chronically depressed, anxiety, ptsd, childhood trauma. I know what all of that is like. I truly doubted for a very long time that anything would ever change for me. But over time it started to. Not big, huge changes. I noticed little changes here & there at first. Now after a year & a half almost, I notice more changes than I ever have before. Don’t give up on yourself! You are worth it! Get the help. Do the work. And just see over time what you can do that you never thought possible before.