How can you tell the difference between being attracted to someone’s looks and wanting to look like them? I’ve never had a strong sense of identity and I feel so disconnected from everything right now that it’s impossible to tell. I’m compulsively looking at everyone I see and asking myself if I want to look like that.
Hey friend Ive gone through the exact same thing, you phrased it perfectly. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have a lot of advice because I still deal with this, but ultimately I did have to reach a point of uncertainty and let the answers come naturally which of course is easier said than done. But having trust in the process… it’s the right way forward. And, me and a lot of other trans people I’ve talked to have all agreed there’s always the unanswerable question of us this a crush or gender envy argh it’s rough but it’s totally normal
@Phoe.nix I’m terrified of the answers coming, I don’t want to realize I’m a girl. It’s seeming more and more likely. I don’t want to realize I made it all up and have to rebuild from scratch.
@Izzy Panobianco Wow it’s interesting- I’ve been in a very similar place as you but in a different way I think. I’m transmasc and kept worrying that I was faking it and lying etc and that no one would believe me if I went back blah blah blah typical stuff… but for me, I’m still trans. So for cis and trans ppl it’s the same, they kind of just end up being what they feel is right and there may be a period of heavy questioning but you’ll be more secure in your sense of self after you go thru that questioning, whatever the outcome may be. Trust me, because I’ve been there and it terrified me and made me question literally EVERYTHING, my whole sense of ‘self’. but now, I feel more confident and sure than ever, my sense of self is no longer fragile I’m sorry I’m not quite sure how you identify but either way ‘identity’ is not constant, and gender can even be fluid over time and you can always change, go back— just ride the wave. No one fits into any of these categories perfectly (why I love being non-binary haha) The answers will come, that I can promise. I’m really sorry you’re going thru this. I know how unstable it can feel. But you are so strong for going thru this, and you are stronger than you know❤️I promise the answers will come
@Phoe.nix I really appreciate that, I hope that certainty comes for me. I haven’t been sure since the day I started questioning. Thank you so much for your support and advice.
@Izzy Panobianco Of course my friend. I wish you the best of luck and am here for you. Let me know if you want to connect on Snapchat or something if you want to talk more. You got this and are strong as hell✊✊👏❤️
ME TOO!! I relate a lot, I keep having to look at people and think about if I wanna be them. I can’t even distinguish my attraction to men (which I KNOW I’m attracted to men) or wanting to be them. Being genderqueer i obviously have weird views on gender that make it hard to know what exactly I want. Im happy with my AGAB and I want to be happy with it I just struggle to see what i seriously want 😫😫
Do our minds imagine someone to look more attractive than they actually are in real life? I get aroused when I get images of this one guy and it feels like I really want to have sex with him but at the same time I try to push it away. I feel like there’s a part of me that is curious and wanting to explore, but I have a boyfriend and I love him and I only want him.
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??
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