- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Dear Jazzz - You are not your past and you are not your life choices, you are not your abuse and you are not your mistakes nor your triumphs. You deserve love and happiness just like anybody else in this world. You have only one human being that you are responsible for - YOURSELF. Fight for you, you are worth it.
- Date posted
- 6y
@fernando thank you for your comment ❤️?? I constantly google things like “my girlfriend was a sugar baby” or something like that and comments from men always say they wouldn’t date such a girl. Even though I just tried it for a second I still put myself on the same level as women who have done it for years. My ex still talks to me as a friend and everything is out in the open but just the fact that I was rejected in such a way makes me feel so worthless inside. The things he put me through matches up with the signs of narcissistic abuse. It even got to the point he was threatening to leave me in the apartment without food and water and I had to fake a suicide balcony scene for him to stay. My family used to be rich but we got dirt poor recently and they were unable to support me in my time of need. I was supposed to go back to Dubai to my boyfriend and keep looking for work after being laid off but now I’m back in New York and struggling so much and feeling worthless and heartbroken. No money to go back on meds or seek therapy. I’m so lost.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi, I'm sending love and support to you. I also want to say to you that there is a lot of good in humanity, and you will find it if you seek it out. Therapists and doctors have lower costs / free services for people in need. See if you can find one. Finding a job is hard. It might take a year or two. Keep trying. If you have a vehicle, consider doing Uber or Lyft. Even if you don't have a vehicle, I know some Uber drivers use rented vehicles but still make money. Finally, I hope you can find friends. Go looking, you will find many.
- Date posted
- 6y
Best of luck jazz , I’m in Connecticut and can deff relate to how tough things can be in the northeast here with the expenses and winters an all And from what you went through you are a very strong person and I give you lots of credit There are always others out there and I’m here for ya too :) wishing the best Here for ya
- Date posted
- 6y
I hate to see this you are something you are awesome cool and beautiful just be yourself and hope will come eventually...?????
- Date posted
- 6y
Since your past does not determine who you are you are not bound to confess about anything. When you truly love someone you love them regardless of where they've been.
- Date posted
- 6y
My ocd makes me fear the worst case scenario and I always think my past will come to haunt me or there are sexual videos of me somewhere. It’s a horrible feeling and it makes me unable to move on happily and have hope in my life.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you everyone! ❤️ I wrote this post last night when I was drowning in a bottle of wine. It’s like all positive energy within me is gone and any little thing sets me off. I’m supposed to be successful after earning a college degree from a prestigious university and I have a great resume and job history so perhaps this setback working part time jobs is amplifying my feelings. Job or not though I’m trying to find ways to work on my self esteem. I often confess to my mom for my ocd reassurance. She tells me to never tell a man about my past. I have such a pure heart I feel like I shouldn’t hide certain things from a significant other but I also fear rejection. I think I held onto my abusive relationship for so long because of this fear.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Honestly I’ve never felt like the worst person ever , all my life I’ve always struggle with fitting in and making a good friend group, and I always think I don’t do enough for anybody and sometimes when I feel like somebody is becoming cold or distant I make sure to keep a distant too out of respect or a mechanism to help me not feel hurt , as a result a friend of mine did this and I stayed away because I had no idea what she was going through and my other friend who I’ve met at the beginning of the year I’ve never had a good feeling abt her because I noticed her starting to be really flirty with my boyfriend and when I tried talking to somebody about it , she twisted the entire situation to her assuming I was sl*t shaming her, which I’d never do that is not in my dictionary , so when I arrived to school everyone said she was saying really bad things about me and what’s worse is that she did this two months ago and I found out last week I cried to all of them about it and they ignored me they all laughed and just left me there to cry , I tried talking to my friend who slowly grew distant instead I noticed her getting closer to the friend who wronged me . I noticed all my friends growing a distant , I slowly felt like I failed as friend and then I slowly starting convincing myself i was a failure in general , so as a result, I turned to marijuana and cough medicine, and multiple dealers reach out weekly so I can buy more stuff , and what’s worse is that I know these people are not good friends but I still let them get to my head and on top of that I resort to substance abuse to help with my overthinking and anxiety , I need advice
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m just full of emotions right now. I feel like I just want to explode. I broke up with my ex a week ago he keeps texting me saying I love you I don’t respond because I don’t pay no mind. What’s bothering me is why did I let this dude use me and I trusted him. He manipulated and used me and I have serious trust issues I never tell anyone what I go through because it’s not safe at all. I feel like I don’t want to trust a guy ever again yes I’m 19 and I’m still young and should date but I don’t have the energy anymore. I attract terrible men that use me and I cave in to easy because I’m lonely and my life is miserable and even doing the things I used to like feel like a chore. I told my sister this today and she said I should be patient that the right man will come to me. But I feel like even if he did I would reject him because I’m an easy person to take advantage of.
- Date posted
- 9w
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
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