Nonbinary (?)

I haven't read anything about it on this community but has any cisgender woman or cisgender man on here dealing with TOCD has immense anxiety thinking they might be non-binary-woman / non-binary man? It's extremely scary for me and has been messing with my brain. The thought of being a trans-man makes me tremble almost with discomfort, but when my brain tries to imagine what it'd be if I was a non-binary woman it doesn't feel that extreme. And that makes me want to throw up with fear. What does this mean? Has anyone been dealing with this?

Transgender OCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

lenaMtheo

Date posted: 2y

Yeah but why doesn't it feel as appalling in comparison to thinking you're a trans woman/male? That's what freaks me out.

lenaMtheo

Date posted: 2y

@ZNDoom That's what I'm thinking as well. I used to love my gender and how feminine I am as a whole. It's so distressing having to doubt one of the things I was so confident about

ambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@ZNDoom Definitely!

ambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Means nothing :) the idea of travelling to Japan doesn’t frighten me either. I just probably will never go. Non-binary is a “safe” middle ground… you can accept that you’re not “cis” but don’t have to change your body. So it appears as a solution. But I’d still Dystonic. Treat it the same as someone whose compulsion is to flick light switches who installs an automatic sensor to turn the lights off for them. But they keep going into the room to set off the sensor.

lenaMtheo

Date posted: 2y

I hadn't thought of that actually, thank you for your comment honestly. My brain has been foggy due to anxiety on this particular topic, and I can't quite think logically

ambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@lenaMtheo Welcome to the ocd club, bebe. We meet at 7:03 on every 3rd Friday. Exactly.

lenaMtheo

Date posted: 2y

@ambrOseCD It's almost ridiculous that I couldn't think of that myself, and within my brain at that moment it seemed more plausible that I was just identifying what I was thinking of, because it didn't seem that much appalling. I'll bring baclava and a handful of lexapro at the next meeting though 👀❤️

lenaMtheo

Date posted: 2y

@lenaMtheo Also, have you had a similar experience to this/have experienced this yourself?

ambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@lenaMtheo Sure have! Had therapy this morning 😂 honestly it’s a headf**** that we’ll likely never “figure out”. The world is highly gendered. Most of it made up anyway. We’re gunna be triggered AF. but one day at a time, each exposure making us stronger. We eat fear for breakfast.

catrockstar143

Date posted: 17w

gender identity ocd tips

I'm starting testosterone soon and suddenly I'm feeling more anxious about regret and being wrong. I was on reddit (that was my first mistake) and a post popped up on my feed and it was a cis woman saying she did some soul searching and realized she wasn't a trans man after all. she said that she was a tomboy growing up and dealt with trauma that she needed to detach from. it shook me a bit and now I'm scared that I'm making the wrong choice. does anyone have any tips to get rid of this constant doubt?

gwen_weaver

Date posted: 16w

am i trans or am i confused?

My boyfriend is ftm, and I’m very supportive of him and his journey with gender. It opened a lot of conversations between us about each others gender/sexuality. I’ve known for a long time that i’m pan, but I’ve struggled a lot with my own gender. My OCD causes me to doubt myself a lot, one day i feel hyper feminine and have no desire to identify as a man, but the next day I am extremely dysphoric about my body/hair/voice and wonder if I’m ftm as well? and then it goes away the next day. Some days I don’t even feel feminine OR masculine. I spend a lot of my time ruminating over if i’m trans, and abt the possibility of me spending the rest of my life either not knowing, or settling for whatever’s easiest for myself and everyone around me. I don’t know if I actually believe I’m a man, or if I’m pretending, or if it’s just in my head. Its like I don’t know what to trust since my opinion is different every day, and it feels like I can’t trust my own intuition. It’s starting to affect my sex drive, my sleep, my self confidence, and my self image. It’s really confusing me and I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has some advice. Thank you:)

Dreamydream

Date posted: 12w

TOCD

2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩

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Nonbinary (?)

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