Pocd real events ocd and hocd

@Studybug I had posted about my POCD and Real events OCD to someone two days ago… they haven’t replied since even when i apologized… i accidentally made a woman feel uncomfortable and scared her even when i had no intention of doing so… it all stems from my hocd pocd and real events OCD post… i even had one person on a ocd discord made from nocd tell me “what do you expect them to tell you? That your a good person?” When it came to my pocd and real events ocd… I feel so alone and unloved by everybody… if I disappeared right now id be doing this world a favor… maybe if im gone people will celebrate… actually be happy with me gone… theres no point in my existence… none…

@Givenup you are loved by many people❤️ i support you and am here if you ever need to talk

@sillygoose I wish that were true…

@Givenup There is absolutely a point to your existence. Don't worry, sometimes I post on here and people don't reply it happens to a lot of people it doesn't mean there was anything wrong with your post. In regards to the person on discord, it sounds like were trying not to reassure you but they did it in an awful and harsh way. If you want to share your post from two days ago with me I'll be happy to help in any way I can. I get, I've been where you are but trust me you do make it out the other side. You are not a bad person.

@Givenup even if it feels like people don’t care about you, i do. i support you and am proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished. your life is so special and YOU are so special.

@Studybug What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭

@sillygoose If my life was so special… why is it that no matter what i do… ill always end up alone…? That no matter what I do, im not important or good enough for anyone else? That im not good enough for anything…

@Givenup Breathe. You're going to be okay. Your OCD is attacking this right and telling you that you are something you are not. You know who you are, you know that is not you. You keep saying you don't ever want to be a P or a chomo as if these thoughts are going to force you into it. It's not, you have complete control of who you are, do not let OCD lie to you. I understand that real event OCD is hard because the intrusive thoughts almost seem justified in some way, but please know that's not true. OCD will try to bring you down in any way. What happened is in the past, you are a different person. Stop engaging with those intrusive thoughts and stop fearing them, it just makes it worse. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, try to stop giving it attention.

@Studybug I have no one who cares or understands… i have no one who truly cares about me…

@sillygoose Im sorry for upsetting you…

@Studybug Im sorry for upsetting you too…

@Givenup You have not upset me at all. I'm sure there are people that do care about you, but please start trying to care for yourself. Do things that make you happy or smile even if it's small. Forget about what others are thinking, including your intrusive thoughts.

@Studybug A former ocd therapist and my Mom said “Thirteen-year-old children do not have an adult's sexual understanding or responsibility. So, you can see why you didn't realise the horribleness of an event until you matured. So now, in the present, you know yourself to be a good moral person. It allows you to let go of the past.” Idek if this is true…

@Givenup Yes that is true. You said yourself that you've never thought about doing that again. You're a different person.

@Studybug Do you think that im a P or a chomo based on my post…?

@Givenup I can't give you reassurance, unfortunately, it will only make your thoughts worse. But you know who you are no matter what your OCD says.