Difference between feelings of love and lust

@ROCDmensch So true! Feelings aren’t black and white, it’s usually in a gray area. Love and lust are often intertwined with each other but there’s nothing wrong with having those feelings. It’s just like any other emotion.

Lust is a sin and i do believe being together with someone just because sex its not a healthy relationship... this is what alot of modern relationahips are about... I dont go that far to say that i wouldnt do it before marriage, but i would wait till our relationship is stronger and we know that that would be the next step to our relationship. I wouldnt like to break someones heart because i just wanted her for sex, same with one night stands, those arent real love just a sexual need from your body...

@PRIV8 I think that your moral beliefs might be to a certain degree black and white thinking. I agree with you that a relationship that is just about sex probably won't last and is not very fulfilling in the long-term. It is okay to have standards and wanting to wait is also okay I think. However you seem to have adopted a very strict mindset about the topic. Your OCD has a bunch of rules that must not be broken or else....what? What would happen if you made the "mistake" of liking someone and in the end it turns out that you didn't really love them, that you just wanted sex. You would probably say "then I'm a horrible person. Then I have sinned". This is the rules I am talking about. OCD says "when you do this, then you are that". This fuels your anxiety. It's black and white thinking. Unconditional self acceptance is key to OCD recovery. At some stage of recovery we have to accept that we are human, that we make mistakes, that we can't controll everything we do and the future. It's scary. But it might happen that you "sin". I don't believe in sin, so this makes it easier for me but I still believe that I could hurt other people and I don't want that. But I still believe that even if I did hurt someone, I'm not evil. It is not my intention and I can forgive myself. Maybe try to look at your inner self talk. Try to adopt kindness and instead of questioning your actions and desires all the time, question your belief system, where it comes from and if it really helps you having a happy life. Maybe throw away the idea of "lust is sin". I know it sounds impossible especially when you are religious. I'm not saying that you have to change your moral construct. Just question the way you judge yourself. Is it fair that the voice in your head is so mean to you? I highly recommend you look at other resources outside this app as well..the ocd recovery channel on YouTube for example has some awesome videos on almost every OCD theme. And they have a website with additional links to books that are very useful. Of course the most important step is erp. And that would be, in your case, to expose yourself to the idea that you like someone just because they are sexy at first, nothing more. Sit with this uncomfortable feeling without trying to change it, without trying to find a solution. That's what healing is about, eventhough it might feel unnatural and paradox.

@ROCDmensch Yeah i did that in the past and i felt like im becoming a bad person. And i got into a depression like stage where i felt so much hate about not knowing why things happen, and since now that trying to learn about things(maybe obsessively) i feel better and i dont have that depression feeling and all the "whats the point then?" and suicidal ocd thoughts... i dont miss that. Throwing all this away i feel like it would make me feel depressed again and i would have the whats the point thoughts again. I remember i started to find happiness in bad things and i wasnt doing anything good in my life, i wanted others so much to like me. Now that i have this obsessive seeking about religion, who is God, what he wants me to do, i doesnt care about anymore what others think of me, and i much more comfortable with people... again just getting back to "idk what is the answer, maybe back then i was good for God too" wouldnt make me happy, cause maybe i was good for God but i dont want to live a life like that... cause if a depressive sad life is still enough for you to go to heaven then thats kinda sad, i would rather be happy and know that what i do is right. I hope you understand what i mean by all of this

@PRIV8 I have to work on this fear to cause im afraid if i do just small things that are similar what i did when i was in my lowest then all what i learned will dissapear and i will be back there again...im even anxious when i think about those times

@PRIV8 I don't know all the details of your personal story but a majority of what is causing depression is the way you talk to yourself. You seem to have a very loud inner critic. I wouldn't draw the conclusion that when you do "bad" things you become depressed. It's the inner critic that judges sth as bad and says you are a horrible person. In therapy you work on that mindset, especially on the mean voices in your head. Are you living a happy life through OCD? I don't think so. It's also not a achoice between OCD or depression. Most people that have OCD are depressed as well. Depression is a very complex subject and sometimes it's hard to see the real cause on your own because you are kind of in a mind fog. I didnt entirely unterstand what you were trying to say, but from what I understand is that your decisions are fear and guilt driven. You seek happiness in God rather then in yourself maybe? I don't want to start a discussion about religion. More so I would like to understand your motivation to overcome OCD and what you have tried so far to overcome it. Also the point of wanting others to like you so badly that you are maybe not yourself or go against your values. This also has a lot to do with negative self talk. When you accept yourself, then you also accept that some people might not like you and that you are fine with that. You move on from these people. In a stage of constant guilt and feeling useless, have no feeling of self worth, then it's very eas to fall into the OCD trap and believing the voice that says "nobody likes you. You have to be this certain person to deserve love" and so on. Hope this helps a bit :) how far along are you on your journey btw? Are you seeing professional help?

@ROCDmensch I was talking with a psychologist but she did more harm then good. Im on medication. Its not like i did bad so i became depressed. I lost my faith and i started to live for earthly things, do what people do and i expected that they will like me but it didnt happened. Then i started to feel like if they would i still wouldnt be happy cause all this is a mask... its not the real me. And since i came back to God i was able to feel my real self, who i am without ocd and fear. And i did talk with myself kind, and with others too. But there was and still is things that i still dont understand and i felt bad cause i dont want to rewrite the bible based on my feelings, what FEELS good to me, thats a selfish thing to do. So this became an obsession and now ocd is back again. I dont see God as a strict ruler , i used to but that was ocd, I just want to understand how He wants me to live, is it really that strict or we just got mislead by pastors and religions and living with God is simplier then we think...

there's many kind of how someone expresse his love

@Ade do you know mo But lust is bad...its a sin. Then how you should love without lust. And that means that im in love with my friend and my married coworker?

@PRIV8 - wait i thought about your gf or wife not your married coworker stop thiking about it change view find a gf go in tinder go find your true soulmate