- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You should ask him to clean up after, including the stove. Wait until he hasn’t cleaned it, just in case he does on his own. But it’s perfectly reasonable to ask him to pick up after himself and leave the kitchen as clean as he found it. If cleaning is a strong compulsion for you though, resisting picking up after him, even for just the night or a few hours would be some good exposure practice for you.
- Date posted
- 6y
When he doesn't clean, talk to him about it. I'm sure you have before, but the only way to ever get it dealt with is to talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel.
- Date posted
- 6y
Also where did you get that dope avatar lol
- Date posted
- 6y
I shared your same feelings when I lived with my parents. No matter how many times I cleaned that damn kitchen, it would get destroyed and I’d have to do it again. I’d ask, some politely, sometimes not because if frustration, stress, and anxiety, for my family to clean up. They never did. What I learned from all that, besides that I do better when I live alone, is that you cannot change people. You can only ask them to make adjustments and explain your side. I hope it gets better, especially the stress and anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
Exposure practice! (After a rational conversation with him.) Unless you sense its irrational..
- Date posted
- 6y
Good point from pureolife. If he doesn't clean and you do it for him, he's never going to do it on hid own.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand letting it go but it would drive me crazy knowing that kitchen is a mess, I stress thinking someone might come over and see a mess and a nessy anything is a reflection of me.
- Date posted
- 6y
That's a compulsion though! ♥
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- Date posted
- 22w
Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!
- Date posted
- 22w
My husband suffers from SEVERE ADHD and he claims that he “forgets” whenever I ask him to do something like clean up after himself or pick up his clothes off the floor. But it’s everyday now and we’ve been together for a year going on 2. We also have a 5 month old and I feel like I’m going crazy worrying about my mental health and taking care of the baby AND still having to come home and worry about him. At this point I’m done telling him anything as he sees anything I say as me “attacking” him rather than me just telling him why I’m upset and that this is now affecting my happiness in this relationship. I no longer feel close or want closeness. I’ve also mentioned this to him and he doesn’t take me seriously. “All this, only because I don’t pick up after myself.” I get stressed very easily over the smallest things. I don’t know if I’m at fault and need to seek help for getting mad over small things or if he’s just not mature enough to own up and be responsible for himself(he’s younger than me). Am I overreacting? I’m just a very clean person and can’t stand that he’s a “I’ll clean it later” type of person and forgets. I just don’t feel I’m getting the support of a mature spouse. I want to lean on him and feel like I can’t do that. Like I have to everything myself. Does anyone else feel like this? PLEASE HELP. I’m reaching my limit and feel like I need to break things off.
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