- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
If you’re endlessly arguing with yourself about your sexuality, it’s still OCD. I hate the advice to “look within” because everyone says it and it sounds great but it’s just not something people with OCD can do to get an answer. People with OCD try to “look within” all of the time but end up a less solid identity than anyone. I’d say that right now given your theme, I wouldn’t look inside about sexuality. Some day when you’ve beaten this and your sexuality is no longer a focus for your OCD and you’ve gotten really good at dealing with OCD, sure: look within. But not right now. You’ve already done that again and again and it’s only confused you further.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, I’m not a therapist but to me it sounds like this bisexual thought could be another formation of your ocd. And perhaps the ruminating and attempts to reassure yourself that you’re straight are compulsions. Like I say, I’m not qualified to diagnose but that would be my guess from experiencing something similar myself. It’s super hard to think clearly when you’re anxious though so be kind to yourself if you can! I’ve actually just come across some great videos about ocd and sexuality, which helped me to understand a bit more eg ‘OCD3:OCD & Sexuality’
- Date posted
- 5y
Anxiety isn’t the only OCD reaction, there’s also guilt and depression and others. The fact that you feel a guilt spike every time you say you’re straight should be a good indication that it’s OCD. And I’m sure as a compulsion it wants you to “admit” or “confess” what you “really are.” Like any other compulsion, resist. Don’t tell yourself you’re bi over and over again to make up for it and try to get rid of the guilt. Just let it be there and dissipate on its own.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for the advice, one more thing, is it normal for people struggling with ocd to get thoughts and even not react to them with anxiety, even admitting to themselves that they are bisexual, mainly because of guilt, for example I feel guilty all the time for not admitting to myself that I am bisexual, because of the fact that I used to watch lesbian porn. Despite the fact that I would never ever do anything sexual with a woman, I still feel guilty for saying to others that I am straight, with my past actions that are clearly doubtful. How do I cope with this guilt?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 6w
The whole crux of this telling me that I’m a lesbian is because I think women are pretty. I know there is a lot more involved with actually being a lesbian than that. Now the thought what if you’re just bi came into my head. It’s causing some anxiety but at the same time I don’t actually like women. Like I like women as friends, but that’s it. I’ve never liked one as anything more than as a friend. But because of loss of attraction and false attraction I find like every woman beautiful and my thoughts are like, see I told you so. Yes, my anxiety is down. Yes, I know these are just thoughts. But sometimes I still get freaked out. Like even putting all this int existence on here I can see how silly this all sounds and how OCD this all sounds. Does anyone else identify with this in anyway? I just want to know I’m not alone.
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