So basicaly Two days ago I found a video on YouTube about astrology, and the woman speaking said smth like: you should look inside yourself because you have a tendency to ignore your own identity and your own true feelings. Instantly I thought of this endeavouring rumination about me being bisexual. Cause now I’ve kinda come to terms with the fact that in no way am I gay. So okay, the thing is, recently I’ve started to think that girls especially have an inclination towards bisexuality, mainly because they are affectionate with other girls. Bear in mind the fact that, since this hocd started, the lines between normal dating actions and behaviours between people are blurred to me. Now I realize that I am ruminating more and more this possibility of me being bisexual, but there are counter arguments like : I would never ever date a woman, I would never ever have sex with a woman and to me they are beautiful yes, they are sexy etc but I don’t want to do anything with them. Then, my consequent thought is maybe I have internalized homophobia idk. This is all soooo distressful and irritating and confusing. Deep down I know that I am a straight girl, but I feel guilty every time someone asks about my boyfriend because of these intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am lying to them, telling them that I am straight, when in fact I am not. Have you ever had such experiences?

Hi just for reference, I’m a girl, I’m almost 17 and I’ve been boy crazy for pretty much all my life. I- I don’t even know what to think anymore, I identify as straight and enjoy thinking about men sexually and emotionally, but I can also masterbate to women weirdly enough? I’ve been diagnosed with pure ocd and I have no desire to have any sexual or emotional relationships with women in real life, and I’ve had hocd for over a year now, but I can masterbate to weird things sometimes and I know I’m not supposed to but I compulsively search things up very often and from what I’ve found most people would say that it would mean that I’m bi. The idea of being bi or gay has made me hyperventilate and cry god knows how many times, at this point I wouldn’t even be angry if I was bi or gay but I know that I’m not. My head keeps telling me that since I can masterbate to gay thoughts or lesbian thoughts sometimes that it means that I’m not straight even though I have no desire to do anything even remotely close to that in real life. This is one of my worst themes of ocd so far as compared to other people who have hocd they don’t get turned on or finish thinking about these things and I do but I don’t identify as bi or gay. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore? I was hoping someone on here goes through the same thing? And I’d really rather not hear that it’s just me denying it, I have a few people I talk to and occasionally when I bring it up they just say I’m in denial so I really don’t know what to do anymore.

I need someone's thoughts on this I've been starting to question everything and all the things I've done, I've never liked any girls despite being in a girls class for years, but because if hocd I've starting to think about things I've done or thought that are not normal for a straight person, when I was little I used to enjoy watching videos of people making out and I kind of felt aroused when the guy touched some parts of the girl, sometimes i stumbled upon some videos of girls kissing and I remember I felt aroused by that too,then I stopped but growing up I tried to watch porn despite the fact that I'm rarely horny and straight porn just didn't do it for me, then I stumbled in lesbian porn and I actually enjoyed it and would get around by it,but I never questioned my sexuality because I knew that it was quite common for straight girls to watch lesbian porn but the thing is that sometimes I've wanted to do the same things that girls did in those videos,not essentially making sex with them or being touched by them but touch certain parts of some girls(not a lot just the ones I found extremely attractive)and this thought aroused me. Since hocd hit I've been rethinking everything and this thing in particular has stuck with me. Idk really I feel so hopeless because I mean for someone it could not be a big deal being not straight but for me it literally is because my entire identity would be destroyed and I would not be able to play those kind of games cause I would not enjoy them or I won't be able to watch any straight romance movie anymore or I could not fangirl with my friends about some hot singers or actors or even fictional characters and my dream since I was a child of being married with a man and having a beautiful family with children would be destroyed. So right now I would like someone's thoughts on this,like I don't want reassurance I just want to know what someone thinks about this,like do you think I'm not straight in reality?

Hey guys, I think/hope that this is just ocd and not me but I can’t differentiate. I m dealing with uncertainty „am I a lesbian ?“ since 3 years and it comes with so many anxiety. I have to say that I like lesb cOrN and exactly this stresses me out !!! I ve been dating men for my whole life and one day the thought comes up that I could be lesbian. It comes and goes month to month. When I m in this „episode“ where I m questioning my sexuality i m googling the whole day if this thought could be true. Also I m checking my feelings by visualising myself with a women and it causes so much anxiety. I just don’t know what to do I try to meditate or to calm down but I can’t go on without having this answer :/ Also I m so anxious to „heal“ myself because then the truth will came out ( my brain says it to me). When I m with men I get aroused and everything works but then my brain says to me that it is just because of the fact of having sex yk? Like it tries to convince me that I m a lesbian… Last month I believed in this and outed myself as Bi in front of my friends although I m not really sure that I m into women. I ve never dated a women or felt any kind of attraction that I felt to men, but what if I m just trying to suppress the attraction to them ? Is anyone dealing with the same shit ? Tik tok triggers me everytime that’s why I deleted this app because everyday I get these videos about people coming out as gay after their relationship.