Having so much trouble handling the anxiety that comes along with erp when it is something that is extremely disturbing. I feel exhausted mentally and physically and the depression kicks in. How am I supposed to accept that my obsession might come true without going into a full blown panic. My counselor doesn't really go through exposures step by step with me so it's hard to do it alone.

Yes it sounds like you’re going too fast. Don’t start with your biggest fears. Start with small triggers you can reasonably manage. You do want to be anxious! So don’t go so small that you feel nothing. But if you immediately go into full blown panic, you’re too high up the hierarchy too fast.

To add to what the others have said - Some therapist or hospitals work with a hierarchy of 1-7 or 1-10 for exposures. That should be planned in advance with your therapist, if you realize the exposure is too much then you can move it up and leave it for later and do something a little easier. However if I understood well that does not seem to be your problem, it seems like your are emotionally drained by the exposures which is pretty common. When I was in the IOP for OCD I had to do exposures for 3 hours straight. I learned this, I hope it helps: "ERP is like a strenuous work out and as such you need a good massage, meal and rest afterwards. So after doing ERP you need to treat yourself to some self-love time. For me it was coming home to my family, taking a nice hot shower, reading mu book on Zen Buddhism and doing some Reiki and Aromatherapy. That's how I would recharge. The same way an athlete would burn out without the recovery part, the same thing is with ERP.

Yes you are right don’t through yourself in at the deep end that will just freak you out and avoid doing exposures! Take little steps time is your healer

It wasn't 3 hours of a single exposure. It was 3 hours of several exposures with breaks in between. Sometimes one single exposure would take 1 hour because the anxiety was so high that I had to wait about 20 min. before going for the next round.

Flooding usually isn't recommended no, but it can also work. Depends on the person and sometimes you just cannot avoid your triggers high up in the hierarchy (for me for example using the bathroom is pretty high up, yet I can not avoid it or I'd die). If you can do it gradually do it that way. It is prefered.