HELP Rocd numb

Scared I lost feelings for bf. I don’t want to. It’s hard to feel excited. I get more rocd thoughts abt exs and whatnot that come with feelings of tightness in my chest. I’m so scared. I feel relationship is over. I told my bf I’m scared I’m losing feelings. A lot of this happened after he hurt my feelings really bad. I use to feel extreme feelings. But it’s hard now. I know I love my bf. I feel so guilty. I also have dreams of me doing not good things. My ocd got better then this happened. I feel so sad. I don’t even feel excited to do things w him. I’m just so numb to everything. Please help

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s you’re anxiety it sounds like. I get this a lot too. I have brought it up to my therapist. Remember they are just thoughts. Also, when someone is with a person for a while the extremes feelings leave because we are comfortable. The love doesn’t necessarily leave. The love can get deeper and one becomes more comfortable, and feels at home with someone. But don’t feed in to reassurance. Remember they are thoughts.

Username: dee012dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous thank u so much, this numb feeling I hate. When I’m overwhelmed and stressed and anxious really bad, this numbness happens, and when my bf causes it, the numbness is directed towards him. there’s a spike in rocd thoughts and it’s usually been easier for me to label them and just move on, but now I’m ruminating and replaying thoughts or replaying them to check my feelings.

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

The very first time my ocd took control of my life I had what sounds like something similar. I was 25. Madly into my gf. Woke up one morning with a thought “I feel nothing for her”. Then complete numbness. Nothing but anxiety and panic. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have what I wanted and it was taken away from me. This had never happened to me before. All I could think about was ‘why’ I had lost feelings and ‘why’ I felt numb. Long long story - I was obsessed with figuring what was happening out. But seemingly lost any ability to feel attraction, drive, happiness. Nothing mattered except figuring out how or why I’d lost feelings. I believe that was the day my brain broke and what I believe to be ocd.

Username: dee012dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp I’m going through this now:( i just want to feel again

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Feelings come and go. That’s why we choose to love people. Your OCD is latching onto something normal and trying to make you “figure it out” but there’s nothing to figure out or fix.

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

@Honeyshark Yeah I can understand that. Before my brain broke, I was with a partner for 7 years. My first love. First two years were full of romance. The next 4 were respectful, loving and partnership based years. Then the last year we both felt we wanted to meet other people. We were 24ish. I guess the difference and the scary or hard thing was when I met my next gf, I was infatuated, just like my first love, and literally one morning woke up to a thought that I felt nothing. And I didn’t want to feel nothing. But once the anxiety took over, my libido, happiness etc disappeared and all that was left was “why”. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like someone flicked a switch that said - you can’t have what you want and you’re not allowed to. My brain broke and I’ve never fully recovered.

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp Yeah I hear you but OCD can do that. It can make your worst nightmare feel real instantly. So it might be worth to get an OCD therapist because it’s probs OCD and not your relationship.

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

@Honeyshark Thanks :) I’m currently seeing an OCD specialist who’s the second to diagnose me with the disorder. I have a terrible personality trait where I believe in the worse case Scenario, so committing to ERP hasn’t happened yet :(

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp No disrespect but that just sounds like OCD again. :) we tend to believe in worst case cuz we’ve “proven” it to ourselves cuz of OCD

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

@Honeyshark No disrespect ever taken mate. Anyone brave enough to call out some of their most fearful things always has my respect.

Username: dee012dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp Reading y’all’s comments made me feel better. I agree with the libido thing. EVERYTHING including that feels like it’s just gone.

Username: puzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 24w ago

Rocd difficulties

I have a lot of change going on in my life and I just saw my girlfriend after being 2 months apart. I missed her a lot but the whole day was feeling a bit off mostly with rocd. I’ve been trying to do exposures but none give me that crazy feeling and it’s been worrying me that I don’t care anymore. I also have been struggling with rocd for almost a year now. Does anyone have any clues as to what makes exposures really expose lol??

Username: giuseppe

Date posted: 22w ago

i need advice on how to overcome rocd

hi there! so after i got together with my partner, i found out i have rocd :) it's excruciating and new to me, so i really have no idea how to fight it back. i constantly have thought regarding my feelings towards him bc what if i dont love him? what if I've been pretending all this time? what if i'm confusing love for something else? i also have a really hard time processing positive and happy feelings bc i usually get this punch in my gut, as if I'm not supposed to feel that good feeling (idk if you can relate). well that too makes me believe i dont love my partner and it's really really tiring because I can't stop doubting my feelings. yk how ocd is the doubt illness so I'm used to it, but i am so so so sure that i love him, I've never been so sure about something in my life and i literally doubt everything. but what if I'm just avoiding the truth, what if I won't admit to not love him bc i dont wanna hurt him? who knows anyways it's really exhausting and i could really do some advice. thank you in advace :)

Username: monthofmaiya

Date posted: 21w ago

Rocd even while in a healthy relationship

Hey y’all this is my first post. I’ve known I’ve had ocd for around 6 years now, but haven’t had much specialized help (just a standard therapist, who is great, she suggested this app) I’m mainly just posting to vent and for people to hopefully make me feel a little less alone in my current situation. I’ve developed coping skills for many of my ocd obsessions in the past, but haven’t really made a dent in what I’m realizing is pretty bad ROCD. I was in an abusive relationship for about 4 years, and it was this weird thing where like I would not only be unhappy from the abuse but also have intense ROCD. Which is relevant, because I’m now in a super happy and healthy relationship, but am unfortunately still experiencing ROCD. And of COURSE that makes my brain feel either like love is just never going to work out for me, or that this new relationship is wrong for me, which I know isn’t the case. But it’s just so exhausting feeling like I have this horrible brain fog around my partner half the time. I never felt like this when my partner and I were just best friends for 6 months, and all that’s changed is that she is even sweeter and more attentive to me. This just all sucks so bad, and I think I should talk to a specialist about it.

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