Why does ROCD have to be so hard. One minute I’m excited to get married and have kids someday and grow old with my person, and then the next minute I have unexplainable anxiety with intrusive thoughts popping in and out. Ugh.
I totally get it. I’ve been with my partner for almost six years and I was recently diagnosed with OCD. It caused a lot of distress and confusion for both of us but it does get better. It really does target the happy relationships
@KaylaStalcup It literally never targeted my old relationship. And that guy cheated on me with my friend and got her pregnant. Like? Okay ocd lol
24/7 for me now…you should break up, it says. You’re no longer compatible. We are moving in together later this year so my ROCD is having a field day with that
@Anonymous That’s one of my ocd fears is not being compatible. Even though we’re best friends and have a lot in common. OCD is a pain. I’m gonna be 26 in September. We’ve been together for almost six years in November. ROCD never jumped up till last summer. I know how you’re feeling!
@Dj-is-trying I hate how ROCD has side effects — if that makes sense? Like I’m irritated with my boyfriend when he does certain things (more specifically things that play on my insecurities about him). And it makes me think we aren’t compatible. That I wouldn’t have this problem with anyone else.
@Anonymous YES YES YES I FEEL THIS ON SO MANY LEVELS. It’s what triggers me. Oh my goddddd
@Dj-is-trying OMG IM NOT ALONE
@Anonymous Dude like, if I was in that zone I’d be able to explain it so much better, but you pretty much said it word for word. Whenever he doesn’t wanna go anywhere or he’s to tired to leave the house and I wanna just get in the car and go I get SO INSECURE and worried about our compatibility. Even though it’s like the only thing that’s different about us and it’s mainly because he’s just super tired from his job. It’s like nothing else bothers me but that one thing triggers me so much. Then it gets me going on intrusive thoughts about if it would be different with someone else and bla bla bla. It’s exhausting.
@Anonymous Sometimes I feel like ROCD is a defense mechanism to prevent us from being hurt or being intimate in the relationship, so it hyper fixates on these things to hinder further intimacy w our partner
@Dj-is-trying Do you find that you start to get hyper critical of the weirdest things about them out of nowhere? It’s hard to explain but for me when I actually like a girl or considering a serious relationship I’ll literally like create these new things in my mind that they are doing “wrong” or that aren’t “attractive.” Are they laughing a lot? They are too playful and stupid…. It’s like this “hyper critical” filter comes on in my brain that’s not usually there or nearly the same level as with other people in my life. I hate it so much when this happens and it makes me feel like I can never be with someone
@Lean.Into.it Oh yes. 100%. As I got older and our relationship has gone on for many years, the more and more time that went by without my ocd being diagnosed it just all blew up in my face. Last summer was the worst of it. The worst pain I’ve ever felt. I was so confused because he is the love of my life and ocd had me feeling numb. I’m much better now but I still get hyper critical which causes a lot of anxiety and then I just have to get through it.
@Lean.Into.it And I definitely believe ROCD is a defense mechanism. I grew up in a household where my parents were extremely toxic to each other and unhealthy for our whole family, them staying together did more harm then good for me and my brothers. Then my first real boyfriend cheated on me with my friend got her pregnant. So now that I have a man in my life (I’ve been with him for almost six years) it’s like my ROCD is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like this is to good to be true. Hyper fixating on all of my fears and every little thing. It causes me guilt because he’s such a kind soul and the best person to ever happen to me.
@Dj-is-trying Yes, I don’t know the answer other than for me it’s like, doing my best to be present in the relationship. I know this may not be the best ? thing for OCD? I just know that trying to embrace that yes, I will get hurt at some point, that’s part of life. And I can work through it- ideally with my partner.
@Lean.Into.it Absolutely. I’m currently on my period (I know tmi 😂) which makes my ocd symptoms sky rocket so it’s been a difficult past two days for me with my ROCD. It all started because a song triggered me. I just tell myself that even if ROCD is telling me all these things I don’t have to listen and I can choose to stay with my partner no matter what ocd says because I’m in control. ROCD is annoying music I just have to turn the volume down.
@Dj-is-trying Nice!!
@Lean.Into.it You’re right
same 24/7 :(
@cs223 It’s like my ROCD hyper fixates on all the tiny small things and turns them into huge things when really they don’t even matter that much. Often times ocd tells me it’s my truth and I’m just in denial but I’m like in the most healthy relationship of my life. It will be six years in November. I don’t understand this brain disorder man.
@Dj-is-trying i don’t understand it either. i feel the same. i have false memory + rocd so im always in denial about me doing horrible things that would jeopardize my relationship. then on top of that, it’s constant “what if?” thoughts about my feelings towards my partner, for example: “what if I don’t love my bf?” “what if I’m losing feelings/attraction/love?” “do i miss my ex? or past flings?” “would i prefer other people over my bf? or think people are more attractive than him?” let me be clear i don’t even agree with these thoughts first of all, not any of them!! but it feels so real… bc it’s my own thoughts, it’s MY brain. i feel so guilty and stressed and anxious and shameful from these thoughts, then my ocd says im feeling that bc im guilty bc i agree. hopefully this is all making sense. but it just sucks. i also get this numb feeling when ive just been super anxious and stressed, my emotions just shut down. my ocd latches onto that and says it’s bc i lost feelings. my ocd has been going on since 2021, it’s only been this bad with only THIS PARTNER. ive only felt this strongly for him, ive had other partners tho. ive never loved or cared or tried for someone this much. so idk why ocd does this.
@Dj-is-trying - Yes, it's like some type of distorted magnifying glass!
@Dj-is-trying Hey same here! Been with my partner for 5 years, beautiful years. Yet my brains suddenly wants to pick every minuscule thing apart :( . Wouldnt wish this upon anyone.
@SpookyKiwi Why is it always the healthy happy relationships that ocd wants to mess with.
@Dj-is-trying Exactly, its so unfair :( in some twisted way I guess it shows how much we care. But damn.
@Dj-is-trying I feel you so hard on this. As I'm opening up and doing exposures, my OCD is telling me that "in my heart I know it's the right thing to break up with her, but I'm just in denial about it." It tries to bring God into it as well. so frustrating!!!
@Theocdguitarist Denial and God or The Universe are big triggers for my OCD to fuel on and me to get twisted up with
@Lean.Into.it Same, I was raised very religious. My mother kind of forced it on us. I’m still terrified of going to hell.
@Theocdguitarist The most frustrating thing on earth. Like just leave me alone and let me be happy, gosh ocd.
@SpookyKiwi You’re 1000% right.
@Lean.Into.it Oh yes. The worst. Pin points every little thing.
@cs223 I’m so sorry ocd is attacking your healthy relationship. I know exactly how you’re feeling, everything you’ve said I’ve been through and still go through! I am on medication for depression and anxiety because the ocd got so bad last summer I didn’t think there was a way out of it. I did therapy and medication for awhile but now I do erp on my own and take one pill everyday to keep a balance.
@Dj-is-trying I get that 🤯
@cs223 Same!!!
@Theocdguitarist Omg same I’ll been dealing with the same for about 8 months me and my partner are getting married soon and now my ocd is wild!!!! My brain is saying god is saying no even tho he’s everything I prayed for and more
@cs223 I feel you omg…. I thought I was insane for having these thoughts. Even reading it brings me anxiety idk why? I didn’t even know I had rocd
@Dj-is-living REAL
I’m having what I think is my first ROCD full episode. I’ve had doubting thoughts the entirety of my relationship. But in the last couple of days have been overwhelmed with and debilitated by anxiety and the feeling that I need to break up with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I have OCD officially but talking to therapists it seems that it is likely and I’m going to an OCD specialist next week to talk through my feelings but I feel completely helpless and hopeless at the moment and riddled with anxiety. I’m in a long distance relationship. I seem to have a waves throughout the day when I want to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him I love him etc. but the other 80% of my day is filled with anxiety and dread that I’m going to have to break up with him. I just want the anxiety to go away and to know if my thoughts are real thoughts or OCD thoughts. My biggest fear is that this isn’t an OCD episode and I do need to break up with him. I’m seeing him this weekend and I’m filled with dread about feeling disconnected and anxious and not in love.
I know I love my fiancé so much. The 5 years we have been together have been the best of my life, yet I am questioning everything all the time. The constant doubts and fears and negative thoughts about him are so loud and so persistent. It feels like this will never end
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
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