I don't know what to do with my ocd on skin tone

I have intense ocd on whether I'm pretty or not over my skin tone. I have the same skin tone as simone Ashley from bridgerton. I hope I don't sound vain but basically this one time when I wasn't wearing makeup and looked like shit and there was this gorgeous blond girl sitting across from me and I saw a couple people checking her out. This other time I was wearing like an all pink outfit so pretty noticeable and there was another pretty blond girl seated nearby. I was in a corner seat and I saw.people checking me out too but most people noticed the blond girl. It's probably a position issue since I was wearing like an all pink unusual outfit. It's easy for me to use dating apps since I get a fair bit of likes and matches and some male friends said I was good looking. My female friends also.say I'm pretty. I really don't know what to think. I read a lot of depressing articles on colorism in the black community and how black women are least desired on dating apps. However the same study showed indian women were doing just fine. Now my ocd said well this statistic is skewed by North and fair skinned Indians and that most Indians were fair skinned and I was dark skinned so this wouldn't apply to me. Now I have ocd over which skin tones are represented in the data. I even looked at indian migration patterns. I'm sorry if I sound narcissistic I just really hate the feeling of being ugly. I think I have bdd and I know I'm irrationally throwing importance on beauty but i really just don't have anything else I like about myself

rooty tooty

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I was deep in body dysmorphia once. I got out of it over time. Im not going to tell you looks are completely unimportant because taking care of our looks and looking our best does feel good. But i strongly suggest you practice saying things you like about yourself and putting effort into other things too. Dont let OCD make you spend far more time than you need to dwelling on this Yeah blondes tend to get the most attention I think. There tends to be at least several people more good looking than us. But when we work with what we have and find the partner/people that matter, thats more than enough. We dont need the majority of peoples attention- we just need friends, a loving partner, and appreciation from even a few people doesnt hurt Does that make sense? Sorry it got long but tldr practice focusing on other things and being content with who you are beautiful too, and the unique beauty you have. And a lighthearted note, people with simone ashley’s skintone pull off deep teal and purple colors waaaaay better than blondes. 🤣 i hope this helps

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 2y

Yea I'm trying to but the statistics were very depressing. Black women were ranked wayyy lower than all other groups of women. As a darker toned indian woman I'm obsessed with whether that data applies to me or whether it doesn't. I'm aware there's also negative black girl stereotypes in the us and they have very different features compared to indians. I don't know what to do with the ocd specifically

rooty tooty

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Lucywilefire Exposure and acceptance, mainly. Its unfair and it sucks. But black women still have circles and people who find them beautiful. You could expose yourself to the idea that maybe the statistic applies to you and that you would be okay even if that was the case.

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 2y

@rooty tooty It's just so hard to not know the answer. Cuz I sort of based my self worth on my appearance. I wanna know what people think of indian girls so bad but at the same time I kinda hate how people think I'm exotic I'd rather they ignore me idk

rooty tooty

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Lucywilefire Practice not basing it all on appearance. I know it sounds rly like “oh thanks im cured” but w things like this sometimes it helps to form a habit like saying good (non appearance related) things to yourself every day, making choices with the goal of taking care of yourself and not as self punishment, etc. its not over night but it helps

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 2y

@rooty tooty Have you found it to be the case that indian women aren't preferred. Sorry if this is asking for reassurance

rooty tooty

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Lucywilefire Yeah i think it is reassurance seeking and tbh i cant give you a solid answer anyway bc itd be anecdotal. I can just say i know indian people whove been in happy relationships whether or not they were preferred by others or not.

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