Anxiety from something I did earlier TW

So while in the bathroom today, I was cleaning myself and had my clothes on the closed toilet and my hands were wet. I didn't want to get my clothes wet while I was cleaning and I had to go. The urge was there and... I urinated in the sink because I thought it would be convenient in the moment. I don't prefer the sink over the toilet by any means though I know there's people that do. I've done this before in the past and didn't feel guilty from what I remember but I do now. At one point it really heightened my anxiety but it went away. I see it as the same as urinating in the shower but again it's not something I would prefer over the toilet. The toilet is the main use for me but I just thought in this moment it wouldn't be a big deal to go and make sure the entire area is clean afterwards

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I could've dried my hands and just used the toilet while moving my clothes. I'm still getting quite a bit of anxiety and intrusive thoughts from it. I just feel stupid about it and I regret doing that, even if it isn't a bad thing.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I would have never thought it was something that involved being perverted. Sometimes it can be good to hand wash your clothes. It can be quick and convenient. That's another thing I thought about when it comes to my bathroom sink: There's a lot of things that can get in there: Saliva, hair, toothpaste, and stains. After doing what I did, I did my best to keep the sink clean. I even put soap in it, sprayed febreeze on it and wiped it down so it looks clean. I wouldn't do this again because of the anxiety that comes up. I don't think you're a bad person at all for doing that. I wouldn't have guessed at all that you were trying to be sick of weird about that. Not at all. I'm trying not to overthink this but it's hard. Thanks for your comment though, it helped.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@NoOCD3 I'm trying to tell myself that I didn't do anything that was flat out wrong. I just thought it would be more convenient for what I had at the time. I went several times today and I chose the toilet every single time. I didn't actively seek out the sink. I think I'm thinking about it way too much but it's gonna linger for the simple fact that it bothers me. I'm also trying to remember that I did this in the past and it didn't bother me and other people prefer it solely and I don't shame them for that. Again, your comment helps

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I just keep getting a thought that told me I could've held it in and used the toilet anyway, but I just didn't because I thought it would be more convenient. I keep saying that, I know. If I told someone this, I think they'd be shocked at the very least. When I've heard other people talk about this, they say they've done it if someone else was using the toilet or if there were no toilet. Then there's those that prefer it, but I don't. One part of me is saying that this isn't a bad thing that I've done but the other part is saying that it is and the anxiety is heightened from that. If someone else did this, I wouldn't be worried about it that much or call them horrible for it. I just seem to react to it differently when it comes to me

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@NoOCD3 I'm so sorry that happened to you. She may not have intended to gaslight you on this, but I'm really sorry that they didn't understand. Maybe showing them a video could help you out? It really sucks when the media portrays OCD the way they do. It can make people think that they have it in some ways. Nothing is wrong with you and you didn't ask to suffer with this. I'm doing okay. I'm still struggling with the thought about the event a little bit but not as much as before. I'm trying to tell myself that I did it before and there was no guilt, there's nothing hazardous about doing what I did and I didn't plan to do it out of evilness or anything to hurt someone. I don't think I'd do that again though. It would just heighten the anxiety. You and another person I know well on this app have said there's nothing wrong with this whatsoever. I don't see other people as wrong for doing this, but they should be very hygienic about it when they do, that's all. I'm hoping your relative can still try to understand what it is your going through.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@NoOCD3 I'm sorry to hear that you have those problems with your aunt. Hopefully your mom will say something about this if it comes up? Maybe you can bring it to her attention? It sounds like she understands this as opposed to her sister. I hope this is all OCD. I was struggling with something else that OCD latched onto but it quickly latched onto this and the anxiety hit so hard. I don't know how long it's going to take until it goes away. I hope it does. I hope you have a great night too!

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I'm getting a lot of contamination worries about this now, like what if someone is going to get sick from this or what if it comes back somehow even though it won't. I regret this more than I thought I would and even if it's something that people prefer and do and that it isn't wrong I don't think I'd do it again.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

It does seem like it's OCD because this is how I felt when worrying about all the other things I did. But still, that isn't enough for me to relax sometimes. I know it should help me relax because it's literally telling me that there's an issue when there isn't one, but it just won't stop. It just keeps going back and forth. I know that that's people that do this and have no problem with it, I know that you and someone else on here has told me that there's nothing wrong with this, and I know that nothing has come up from this but my mind just won't be quiet about it still. I'm sorry to keep bugging you about something that seems so irrelevant. I get intrusive thoughts about what happened and other topics of context with it but I just ignore it. I just have to do the same for this. Ugh

flowerpetals

Date posted: 19w

spiraling over anxiety

contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.

Contamination OCD

miss_anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Here we go again..

Hi guys I know I keep posting but I having real bad anxiety rn. My bathroom sink was plugged and my dad came and fixed it but he put the drain stopper on the top of my bathroom counter which got me frustrated. Mind you it was dirty water with like black particles on my COUNTER!!! I tried to keep my composure and told my dad that I appreciate him doing this and I know he has a way of doing things , but told him to not do that. He kinda got annoyed but I told him it really bothered me. He finally unclogged the drain and everything’s fine now. During him fixing it, I was there watching him closely n I watched as he put the drain stopper on top of my counter it got on the side of my gel that I use for my hair. Now I’m having false memory that the water splashed on my skin care products. Like what if the bacteria got inside my cleanser? I don’t even wanna wash my face. I thought about cloroxing each item but it seems like no matter how much I wash them, nothing helps and I keep wanted to buy more and more Clorox . I don’t wanna buy another cleanser bc 1.) it’s 11:23pm and 2.) it will make things worse. I’m scared but I’m gonna cleanse my face with it anyways . 😞 please any advice would help

saddaph

Date posted: 11w

Bathroom OCD?

Tw: piss Is it just me or do other people have this? I first of all have a pretty small bladder so I already have to go more often. I also over hydrate because I cannot stand chapped lips/dry throat. But it's starting to be a really problem because I will go and then when I'm done I will suddenly think "what if I didn't get all of it out?" And then it will SERIOUSLY feel like I have to piss again. This happens ALL THE TIME I go like at least once an hour. Even if I just get the slightest feeling I have to piss I go immediately because I'm so paranoid I'm gonna piss myself. And I cannot stand the feeling of having to go even for a little bit. I'm starting to think maybe I'm manifesting the feeling of having to go. But that's crazy because it feels so real.

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Anxiety from something I did earlier TW

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